As I clawed my way out of,
The grips of this,
Deep hole,
I stand before.
You helped me be,
Set free.
And trust was earned,
By your heroic act.
And to you, I clung to,
So loyal.
So true.
And with that, I gave myself to you.
The atmosphere, cool,
And comfortable.
Until something foggy had appeared.
That relaxed,
Calm feeling,
Had slowly turned to fear.
A heart that races quickly,
An undying thirst to know.
Tried running tward the answer,
But my feet just will not go.
My security blanket,
Vanished into flames.
A fake,
An imposter,
Was this all your game?
Torn and beaten,
Confused and enraged,
Cold and feeling empty
Locked up in this solid cage.
I will forget you now,
I'll try...
And hate you now.
You're character, digusting,
My face,
A plasterd frown.
And here I am again,
Yet again..
In that deep, dark hole..
Where I first became your 'friend'
Yerning to be saved,
Not strong enough my own
When will someone just save me?
When will I end these moans,
Of pain..
And anger,
Of hurt, and betrayal
When will they see i'm not
Property to be used.
I'm nobodys innocent angel.
Do not enter
Warning you, now.
I've been closed off
Jagged rocks shoot up from bellow
The steep cliffs of my subconsciene.
The horizon of my mind never visable,
Always confusing the thoughts in my head.
So I cannot trust myself again.
Beware,
I'm dangerous.
I'll hurt you, And you'll hurt me.
My bloody finger tips caress your cheek
As I drop the knife I've sliced my flesh with.
Don't you see you're tresspassing?
You're not sapposed to be here.
Taking up my air, such little I have left.
Leave. I'm in control.
This is MINE.
Private property
Go away.
Don't stand so close
The sideways cressant apon your lips
Taunts me,
A smile?
Do not enter.
Back away, go back to your life
Don't drag me in and give me hope
Don't pull me down and rape my soul
Step away.
I'm worried
I see my world plumeding down
The sky falls down around me like a silk sheet
And it suffocates me and I struggle to
Throw my sky back into place,
Weeping bloody tears
My heart pumping to my head
Giving me a head ache,
As my face turns red and becomes hot.
YOU DID THIS!
You broke my world!
You broke my silent, tortured, twisted happiness,
And you mentally slit my throat for greed,
Because you tried to take what wasn't yours,
Me.
Private property.
All I feel is rage deep in the pit of my stomache
Heavy and tight, cold, buring, and empty
It churns and rests, and starts over again.
Before things were this way, I was just too blinded.
I was searching a forest of 500 acres with a blindfold on
I know there's more than anger, And pain.
But I haven't really felt it..
I havent had it for more than 30 days
It ends, and I'm trown into this hell I call home
Making comfotable until I'm ripped of my thrown.
And this nosense called "happiness",
Attempts to attack me once more.
To betrayal and regret, I'm just it's whore.
I appear strong, with a grin on my face,
And I whistle a tune that makes life seem so great.
But when you get to see the way that I live,
You think 'man that's a whole load of shit she gets in'.
And I smile because you're just as clueless as I ,
Then I opend my mind and found out who I was.
All I need, is to find someone,
Loyal and honest, caring and fun,
To keep me from pulling the triger of that gun.
Blow me away, But I am warning you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do..
Sometimes im too numb to write.
I just stare into myself.
Try to figure out what my subconscience is thinking.
I can sometimes hear my subconscience.
And then it helps make things right.
Listening to my heart has become too painful.
It's like my heart has mailed so many love letters,
And with every lick of the envelope it was cut,
Blood dripping from it slowly.
Clotting up at the cuts broken edges of skin,
Drying up and stopping some,
Of the hot thick milky crimson substance,
But then another letter is sealed and the cut is renewd.
"never mail another love letter",
my subconscience tells me.
I do so.
And the comfort returns..for the mean while,
And then my heart seals another envelope,
My cut will open again,
And repeat..the comfort will return.
Make everything better.
For the mean while.
Don't send another love letter..