Salesman

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a
policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how
he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours
aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer
is always wrong."

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Q: Two sons and two fathers went hunting. They
succeeded in hunting one pigeon each on counting it
was found that they were only three pigeons. How is
that?
A: They were only three persons, son father and
grandfather.

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Joke # 4

Contacts

A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to
see her license.

After looking it over, he said to her, "Lady, it
stipulates here on your license that you should be
wearing glasses."

"Well, I have contacts," the woman replied.

"Look lady, I don't care who you know," snapped the
officer. "You're getting a ticket."

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Joke # 5

Flower vendor

The flower vendor was an old hand at unloading his last
few bunches. Appealing to a businessman on his way
home, the vendor said, "How about a nice bunch of roses
to surprise your wife?"

"Haven't got a wife," responded the businessman
gruffly.

"Then how about some carnations for your girlfriend?"
proposed the vendor without missing a beat.

"Haven't got a girlfriend."

"You lucky guy!" The vendor broke into a big smile.
"Buy both bunches to celebrate!"

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Joke # 6

Golfer

A pro golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and
was rushed to hospital. Just before he was put under,
the surgeon popped in to see him.

"I have some good news and some bad news." says the
surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your
right arm!"

"Oh god no!" cries the man. "My career is over! Please
Doc, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, I have another one to replace it
with, but it's a woman's arm! I'll need your permission
before I go ahead with the transplant"

"Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play
golf again."

The operation went well and 6 months later the man was
out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.

"Just great" says the business man. "I'm playing the
best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch
and my putting has really improved."

"That's great." said the surgeon

"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting
has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes
and I've even taken up painting landscapes in
watercolors"

"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear
the transplant was such a success."

"Well there is one problem," said the golfer, "every
time I try to jerk off I get a headache!"

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Q: What do you call a woman with a wooden leg?
A: Peg