|
Obviously, I'm responsible for my mood at any Christmas and have no one to blame but myself. This Christmas is no exception. Frankly, I could be at my mom's house this afternoon if only I'd ask. All I'd have to do is call anyone down there, and someone'd drive up here, pick me up, and take me home for Christmas. I don't believe I will. I think this Christmas will be spent having French toast in the morning, a cheeseburger for supper, and calling my relatives to wish them each a merry Christmas during the day. Kevin is to be here Saturday on his way home from his in-laws. Mom will bring Cathy and me home Monday. Why would I want to be alone this year? That's best answered by another question: Why would I want to burden everyone else? You know, Dear Reader, that six weeks ago I bounced some checks. In the meantime, I opened another checking account at a different bank in order to survive, but the old account is still in the red. I mentioned in my last writing that the matter had been turned over to the District Attorney. If I don't have at least $77.13 (half of what I currently owe them) in a money order in two days, I was informed that criminal charges will be filed against me. Needless to say, I don't have the money. To my name I possess 22¢ in my "good" checking account and 63¢ in cash. (One smart thing I did was to get an ATM card only, and didn't order any checks to be printed... making it impossible for me to overdraw this account.) In addition to the DA, I owe Debbie $850 in back child support and $375 for insurance. I haven't paid my phone bill this month which is due on the 29th. I haven't paid my electricity bill, either. I owe $310 for rent next Thursday. (I am more than hesitant to ask my family for help as I already owe my mom $8000 and my brother $1000.) My refrigerator contains a pound of ground beef, a dozen eggs, seven sausage links, enough corned beef for one sandwich (which I might be able to stretch into two), and less than a cup of milk. (Perhaps on the plus side) the last cigarette I had was smoked at 9pm last night. Put these on top of not having paid any of my past debts in six months or longer, and those amounts total in excess of $30,000. The amount I'll owe Kari for child support is to be determined in January. I haven't received a dime from unemployment... both Holmen High School and APAC have claimed I am ineligible to receive payments because of their reasons for my dismissal from each job. My first appeal (of three I'm allowed) is scheduled for January 5... who knows how much longer it will take before I get anything from them, or indeed if anything at all? I don't believe I am, as recently written, "Complaining what the gods send." I believe I am merely am explaining the facts of my situation. Perhaps I should go to church tonight. As I've said many times (almost jokingly) in the past, "Merry freakin' Christmas." |