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I tried calling Catherine three times tonight, 7:30, 8:40, and 9:55. I wanted to congratulate her on getting a very good report card for first quarter, to let her know that I'm proud of her, that now that I have a phone she's welcome to call anytime she wants to talk with me, and that I love her so very much. There was no answer and I left a message to call back each time. Mom's call came in around 9:15... we had a nice talk and I had the chance to say goodnight to Gabby and T.J., my niece and nephew. Each said, "I love you," before I had the chance to say it first. Both times made me smile. I called Kari at 10:35, waiting until a time when it was pretty clear Cathy wasn't calling me back tonight. Kari and I talked for a few minutes. I called to let her know I got her voicemail and thanked her for the offer of sending pics, then she excused herself because her mom was there and getting ready to leave. Kari's third call came in just before 11pm. We talked for over an hour-and-a-half. She did the vast majority of talking during our conversation... the first hour or so was mainly descriptions of Dawson's development, what kinds of vegetables he likes, what toys he likes, their trip two months ago to California to visit her sister, the pregnancy, the delivery and its complications, trips to the hospital for each of them, his baptism. It was all bittersweet to hear... I was happy that my son's okay, and actually happy she's doing well, yet ripped by the pain of losing the new family I was supposed to have had fourteen months ago. These were all things I had planned to share with them... pains I could have healed... frustrations I could have eased... love that should have been mine, and ours. |