A couple side-notes here. First, one thing Appleton brought us was the importance of distance. We were an hour's drive from her parents, two-and-a-half from my mom's, and a little over three hours from my dad. Time together, alone, really helped us get to where we were.

Second, "where we were" was as a couple not exactly monogomous, but in a word I'm inventing here and now (so make sure I get credit for it!)... nonogomous. We didn't have sex at all. Debbie had no need for it... she already had the family she wanted. Over our thirteen year marriage, we went through periods of 25, 13, 13, 11, and 9 months without sex. There was also the year of once-a-month only.

Late at night I needed to be with someone, and Debbie wasn't there for me. I turned on my computer and found my way to chatrooms, also something I'd not suggest for prospective couples out there. A hundred thousand lonely people bitching about their spouses. Even so, I fit the profile, and even when reading line after line popping up on my monitor about how much these women didn't get along with their husbands, they at least had sex with them semi-regularly, regardless of how long they were married. I knew it wasn't just a mid-marriage slump Debbie and I were going through.

I cyberred with maybe a half dozen over my last year with Debbie, but there were two with whom online conversations took on significant philosophical meaning and friendships. One, Suzanne, is still a friend. We've never met, but six years later we talk on the phone about once a month or so just to catch each other up on what's going on. The other was Yvonne. If you're still here after reading 13 Seasons, you pretty much know the rest of my story from there.

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