Again, I felt --> <-- this big. Matt is so very dear to me. He started out my Geometry class inattentive, but I stuck to my guns... he had talent and I wasn't going to let him waste it by talking in class. Somewhere along the way, and I'm not sure how, a connection was made. He lent me a biography of Vince Lombardi he thought I'd enjoy. I did very much. From it I lifted a Lombardi quote that I printed and posted in my classroom, something that (for better or worse) I lived by throughout my entire time at Holmen High School:

A leader must identify himself with the group, must back up the group, even at the risk of displeasing his superiors. He must believe that the group wants from him a sense of approval. If this feeling prevails, production, discipline, and morale will be high, and in return he can demand the cooperation to promote the goals of the company. He must believe in teamwork through participation. As a result, the contact must be close and informal. He must be sensitive to the emotional needs and expectations of others. In return, the attitude toward him should be one of confidence and, possibly, affection.

Going through the book I found a Doublemint gum wrapper used as a bookmark and an image appeared in my mind of a boy laying on his bed reading, finding inspiration and well on his way to becoming a young man. That image served as an inspiration to me of the importance of my craft.

At the football game I attended two weeks ago, I saw Matt had grown a beard. I was curious as to whether it's a new permanent look for him or just an accessory for hunting season. Glancing to my left I see his painting of a white-tail buck he gave me last year on my wall.


5:43am, late Saturday night/early Sunday morning. I had the promise of everything I've ever asked for in life a little over a year ago, and like Tantalus, it has all escaped my grasp... and all I can wonder is why does life have to be like this? Why can't I have any one thing I truly want?

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