Friday 01 August 2003

The last 24 hours have been among the most humiliating this year for me. After writing yesterday, I headed for my apartment, and slid underneath the door waiting for me was a pay-or-vacate notice. My rent became officially a month late today and my landlord said I was to pay in full my rent (including late fees) for July by August 1 or to vacate the premises by August 5.

I was short the complete amount (as discussed here recently) and once again I had to go hat-in-hand to Mom for some help. I already owe her $6,000... now make that $6,500. She gave me a great deal of assistance during my divorce, and over the past year has been a godsend to me. I felt terribly guilty and stupid asking her... the last time she loaned me money she said it was to be the last time ever.

Mom wired the money through Western Union last night and I picked it up this morning... went to the bank and got a money order to cover July rent and make a partial payment for August, which of course was due in full today. I feel humiliated, guilty, and worthless. A grown man of 41 years shouldn't be in this position.

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