Monday 30 June 2003

I don't even know where to begin. I want to write how I got into the situation in which I find myself, but everytime I think I know where to start, something from further back needs explaining.

I suppose the best place is to define where I am now, and explore the causes and cures another time. Actually, I know the cures already... a full-time teaching job and a woman who would totally love me and be totally loved in return.

As for now, I find myself bankrupt and heartbroken. I'm damaged goods, people. I dare not find someone to be with now, as I've no means to be a good date right now. $10 to my name, tomorrow's paycheck not enough to cover this month's rent, phone and utilities to my apartment shut off, and no car with which to just get away. I feel so trapped.

Meanwhile, for the second time in three weeks, my family is pitching in to help me be with my daughter. At the very least, I have them. Yet, I feel so ashamed of my predicament that even they don't know the extent of how bad it really is for me financially.

So far as heartbreak? That writing will wait for another day.

Continue...