What follows below are real examples of job offers (from a certain popular online bulletin board) that prey on struggling writer and editorial workers, paying either nothing or insultingly little while at times asking for quite a bit. This reality devalues what many people are trying to do for a living. I began collecting them because they just make me laugh. And then cry. And everyone knows that crying is good for morose writer types. Names have been changed to protect the not-that-innocent.
some jerk
a kindred spirit speaks out
this website is totally awesome to the max!
back to chips
Writers/Journalists Wanted
We are seeking experienced, talented writers for a hip young online magazine, preferably with contacts in the entertainment industry. We want in-depth, well-researched articles on any topic. There is no pay at this time, but you will get exposure and have your work published.
My typical reaction: Gee--could I really write an in-depth, well-researched article for an online magazine I've never heard of and get NO pay? That sounds like a great deal. I don't need to eat; I'll just digest my stomach lining. Thanks for the opportunity!
And now, the "jobs"
Essays wanted about the subway
[So and So] is seeking new essays about the New York City subway system. We are looking for anything that makes us laugh, cry, think or ponder. Most of all, we are looking for originality. Please review the other essays on the site. If we've published something similar, it is unlikely that we'll accept another essay on the same topic. If your essay is written in third person, better yet! On the subway during this year's blackout? We'd definitely like to hear from you.
Essays should be no longer than 3000 words. Please send only previously unpublished, true essays (unless you have retained all rights to a published essay).
Unfortunately the pay is small since we don't currently accept advertising on the site. We do post a bio for each author accepted and the exposure is good. [So and So] has been reviewed by several media outlets, including the New York Times.
Please visit the site for more detailed writer's guidelines.
Compensation: $5.00/essay
OH MY GOSH! CAN I REALLY WRITE A 3000 WORD ESSAY FOR $5? SOUNDS GREAT! DO YOU ACCEPT WORK WRITTEN ON A NAPKIN FOUND IN MY NEW HOME, THE GUTTER?
* * *
Writer/ Editor Position.
I have work ranging from polemics to short fiction to plays in :
electronic form & some in hard copy. I would like to edit them and combine
them into a book of short fiction + a coherent set of essays that are polemical in nature.
I am already quite organized but I have yet to go to the next level.
I would like your assistance with editing this (for presentational
purposes) and organizing all of this in an accessible way. I can pay a nominal salary of $5. I do intend to pay you more / proportionately if anything comes out of this.
My emailed response:
Subject: of nominal salaries
you know what? asking someone to do that big of a job and offering a "nominal salary" of $5 is just insulting. was that a joke? in fact, a job of any size is not worth five dollars, except to a child. why don't you write an essay on the polemics of that?
* * *
Seeking a great and hungry Writer!!!!!!
Looking for Gifted writer, for social political drama thriller. Must be great with dialogue!
There is *Very LITTLE* money involved (won't pay your bills) but will get credit and points of revenue(if money its made)!
This one didn't quite make me angry enough to reply, but what I like about this one is they're specifically seeking a hungry writer. You know what? Hungry writers probably want to EAT and PAY THEIR BILLS rather than write great dialogue and then not get paid enough to pay their bills. Jerk.
Oh, but you get credit. I forgot. I'll just make that credit into a stew and have it warm my belly all week.
* * *
I like the "or less" part below.
editor needed/for short book/
I need an experience inteligent person to edit 70 pages/about 12,000 words.
it should not take you more than a day.will pay $100.00 or less
if you can help please email me ASAP!
Include a little about yourself, and some work you've done is a plus but not mandatory. just be smart.
Please do be smart and do not hook yourself out like this.
* * *
Entertainment / Gossip writer - freelance p/t
Have you always enjoyed the guilty pleasure of reading Page Six or the Enquirer? Do you have a flair for writing about trash, sleaze and celebrity gossip that appeals to the lowest common denominator?
You may have a bright future as a reporter, or editor for this soon-to-be-launched online tabloid.
This is a p/t opportunity which requires reporters to produce original materials, as well as aggregate "third-party" editorial sources.
You would be producing a 2,500 word report each week. Ability to meet deadlines an absolute MUST. Killer-headline writing ability a MUST. The pay adheres to a minimalist aesthetic, but quality work will eventually be rewarded. Don't hold your breath, though.
Interested scribes please respond with a writing sample.
Don't hold your breath waiting for scribes. When the pay adheres to a minimalist aesthetic, so does work.
Jerk!
* * *
Seeking Reporters (and a few Writers)
We are looking for freelance contributors and regular columnists for a variety of assingments, from hard news to profiles, covering North Brooklyn. Specifically seeking hard reporters with persistence in getting the Story. Also, if you ever wanted to cover a beat this is the chance. Your time commitment will be whatever you wish to handle. You will get excellent exposure as we are a print publication.
Some pay may be worked out down the road for continued magnificence in journalism. Genius. Nothing less.
Please say a little about yourself, what you'd like to cover, and include IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL two writing samples of no more than 500 words each, with at least one current news or profile story. Wait for your mission.
So they won't accept anything less than genius and magnificence, but pay is something that might happen "down the road." Good luck with that. I wonder if whomever posted this has similar arrangements with their grocery store, accountant, or dry cleaners.
* * *
digital copy writer
Company Description
What sets us apart is our international, multicultural marketing expertise (we speak seven languages), our mastery of interactive marketing strategies, and our prowess at utilizing custom publishing to better manage our clients' relationships with their audiences.
Our Core Services include:
- Integrated Marketing
- International Marketing
- Ethnically Focused Marketing
- Interactive Marketing & Communications
- Custom Publishing/book packaging
Job Description
Communications-copywriter Intern Requirements:
o A strong command of written language
o Able to take verbal direction and translate it into clear concise copy
o Be a creative and strategic thinker
o Must be coachable and able to work in a fast paced environment
o Must be competent using Microsoft Word software
Job Qualifications
Communications Intern Requirements:
o A strong command of written language
o Able to take verbal direction and translate it into clear concise copy
o Be a creative and strategic thinker
o Must be coachable and able to work in a fast paced environment
o Must be competent using Microsoft Word software
Hours: part time
Salary: paid per project $10
(sigh)
* * *
Travel Submissions--Verbal scripts--wanted immediately
Travel Submissions--Verbal scripts--wanted immediately
[So and So] is seeking submissions from talented travel writers for a new offering. Submit scripts covering particular locations--similar to the audio tours used in museums--that are between 15 and 60 minutes when read. People will be LISTENING TO not reading your words, so write as if you were speaking to someone. See below for specifics.
AUDIENCE
Your audience is a group of sophisticated, educated, intelligent and curious travelers. They expect to learn about the lesser known aspects of an area. They want to be treated as if they are friends or insiders, not tourists. They already have guidebooks and brochures, so the information they want to hear should go deeper and compliment the info they already have. Some should be appropriate for people walking or driving through an area.
LOCATIONS
We need scripts that cover the following areas:
?h New York
?h Los Angeles
?h San Francisco
?h Paris
?h London
?h Edinburgh
?h Glasgow
?h Rome
?h Boston
?h Other major destinations
TOPICS
The subject matter of accepted scripts will skillfully weave several of the following topics together. Remember, we are looking to be more anecdotal and interesting than what one would find in a typical guidebook. Think of the style of an NPR show.
?h Cuisine
?h Art of all kinds (museums as well as local art such as murals, etc�K)
?h Neighborhood profiles and points of interest
?h History
?h Literary Landmarks/places of interest
?h Film as it relates to a locale (i.e. films that were made in a particular place, something in the locale that plays a role in the film, etc�K)
?h Colorful local characters
?h Traditions that would only be known to locals
?h Spooky/Scary stuff
?h Interesting trivia facts
?h Interesting economic facts (i.e. nelson Rockefeller having Diego Rivera's mural painted over because of what it said about capitalism)
STYLE GUIDE
The tone should be conversational, as if you are walking with the listener--chatting with him or her. Again, the person will be listening to your words, not reading them. The tone should be friendly and professional.
Accepted submissions will reflect originality of thought, and writing, great knowledge of an area, excellent research skills, and well thought out flow. Eventually, we may hire the writers to modify the
Avoid the following:
?h cliches
?h overused words (i.e. cozy)
?h trite phrases (nestled in the hills)
?h "thesaurusizing" things--using overly sophisticated words and phrases that clearly were put in just to impress
?h "I" statements
PAYMENT
We will be paying $25 for each accepted script. Longer scripts will be paid up to $50. People who repeatedly impress us with their work will become stringers and may have opportunities to go on travel trips. All submissions must not have been used previously in any public format and a copyright release will need to be signed for each script. However, you will be credited as the author--unless the piece is combined with others in which case it will say you are one of the authors.
SUBMISSION PROCEDURES
Please follow all instructions carefully. Anyone not following instructions will not be considered. Send ONLY your submissions to [[email protected]]. Use the subject line: city script submission. We do not need to see your resume or hear about your interest. Due to the volume of mail, we will not be answering questions or sending further instructions. We will also not be able to reply to people whose submissions are not accepted.
If there is interest, we will contact you by email.
Only if there is interest, If your submission is really good, and you followed all those guidelines, and the style guide, and it's original, clever, and factual, will they give you $25--or up to $50 for a longer one! Spend it however you want! Never mind that it took you 20 hours to get the project done. You are Paying Your Dues.
* * *
WRITERS WANTED $ $ $
Writers Wanted
Do you have a juicy story to tell, if so I would love to hear from you. I'm looking for the best stories for future publishing. Juicy sex/relationship stories, your worst or best experience. Get it off your chest, keep it real, express your feelings and emotions weather it's a present or past relationiship. For example, terrorble break ups, the worst sex relationship, dumped at the alter, secretly married to more than one person, How you fell in love, from gay to straight, cheating, how you got back, etc. KEEP IT JUICY adult style. Tell your story the way you want to but make sure it's clear and understanderble to read.
COMPENSATION: is $30 per story if accepted, limited to 3 stories a person. 4 to 5 pages long. Stories can be fiction but perferably nonfiction. Great exposure for new writers. I am accepting stories now through October 2003. October 1st is the deadline. If and only if your story qualify you will recieve futher information.
Along with your story/s please include a breif message about your self and where you are from. Please E-mail all stories to [[email protected]] with STORY WRITER in the subject line.
ALL STORIES MUST BE SELF ORIGINATED.
NOTE: Please do not send stories shorter than 4 pages or longer than 5 pages. If other than your self you will be referring to in your story, do not use real names. Once you submitt your story it will not under any circumstances be returned to you. If your story does not qualify it will not be published.
The headline said, "$ $ $". So in this case, each $ must equal $10. And you get $$$ for 4-5 pages. Ummmm, no.
* * *
Writing for a Web zine
Basically I am starting a new movie webzine at soandso.com. Threw up a very rough site Monday and will have a fully functioning site within a month (hopefully). Right now I need content. Will pay via Paypal $1 to any article that I can use along with any link of their choice and that person's email. I know it's nothing, but think of the fun it will be to help me get this site off the ground! Please email any article (1 page maximum) about any movie related topic along with a paypal account adn any link you want me to advertise. Thanks!! !!
One dollar.
* * *
list writers for travel publication
Please read posting carefully.
We are seeking submissions from writers who are in the know about what to do and where to go in New York, London, and Paris.
Specifically, we want small sidebar-type pieces on a very specialized aspect of the cities.
Here are some examples:
*Top 10-20 places to go on an anniversary or special romantic occasion
*Top 10-20 stores for grandparents to be let loose (gifts for grandkids)
*Top 10-20 gay bars/gay activities
*Top places to get game
[LISTS SEVERAL MORE SUGGESTIONS]
Submissions should not just be lists but should also contain descriptions of the places. Feel free to use personality, humor, etc.
Accepted submissions will earn between $5 and $35 depending upon content and originality. Due to the volume of submissions we receive, we will only be able to respond to those people whose work is being considered for submission.
Annnnd, no.