In case anyone is curious to know just how much of the work Hello Newman 2001 and I did towards the wedding, this is the unedited version of the file I sent to Mailbox - so now you can see what Ed let get through and what he didn't!

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Hello, Newman - Right, I'm just about to set off to the church now. I still think these pants are too tight. I feel like Tom Jones or something. Oh, here's the car now. A Ford Capri?! Paramount MUST be strapped for cash.

Misty Miranda 2001 – It’s finally time! I’m on my way to the church. A helter-skelter would have been more fun. I KNEW I should have borrowed Jamie’s magic torch.

Hello, Newman - Flamin' Nora! I can't believe the driver stopped for an Exchange & Mart on the way. We're late!

Misty Miranda 2001 – Joy, Daisy, will you two cheer up? I’ve seen happier faces at an Eldorado convention!

Hello, Newman - I'm waiting for Miranda now. These pants are DEFINITELY too tight. (Theme to You & Me starts up). Ooh, here she comes! Why is it that I keep thinking of The Graduate though? If I see Dustin Hoffman there will be trouble.

(Miranda walks down the aisle. Joy follows. Daisy steps on the back of her dress and Joy starts a punch-up. The vicar looks nervous but starts the ceremony anyway.)

 Vicar – Friends and Mailboxers, we are reading this page today to witness the bizarre wedding of Hello, Newman and Misty Miranda 2001. If anyone knows and lawful impediment why they should not be married then speak now or forever hold your peace, or somebody else’s.

(Joy makes sure no one speaks in her own inimitable way)

Hello, Newman – I promise to take you, Miranda, as my Mailbox wife, to never eat in bed, to never wear a pair of socks for more than one day at a time, to never look at the football scores during... intimacy, to always let you control the remote controls and that I will ALWAYS love you, even when you're old and look like a prune.

Misty Miranda 2001 – I promise to take you, Hello, Newman, as my Mailbox husband, to never borrow your razor to shave my legs, to not play Pokemon during breakfast, to never nag you about toilet seat issues, and to curl up with you to read Mailbox together until Ed’s drawing his pension.

(Hello, Newman and Miranda exchange rings while The Rock sits blubbing in the corner. He always cries at weddings. Joy stops threatening people in time to hear the Vicar say,)

Vicar - May these two people find happiness in their insanity. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now email the bride.

(Hello, Newman and Miranda lovingly tap away on their keyboards while Joy finishes attacking the gathering.)

Hello, Newman 2001- OK, which herbert tied apples to the back of our car? ED! Anyway, everyone is invited to the reception now. Sossidges for all! And no evil geniuses intent on taking over the world allowed either.

Misty Miranda-Newman 2001 – And definitely NO barbecue sauce!

Hello, Newman - Argh! I've done it! I'm finally hitched! Speednik didn't help my nerves though by pulling out a Hula Hoop instead of the ring.

Misty Miranda 2001 – Present time! Oooh, a toaster! Let’s see…. Oh, another toaster….. hmm, I wonder what THIS one is….. oh, what a surprise….

Hello, Newman - Great reception this. I must say that Speednik is a top DJ. I reckon he's really Norman Cook. He has the same taste in shirts. Wait a minute, what's this? Ooh, Triple 6 and The Rock seem to be getting along well. Hmm.

Misty Miranda 2001 – Karaoke time! Hey, Ed, you’re not getting out of it THAT easily. It’s time for ‘There’s no one Quite Like Grandma’…

Hello, Newman - Alright, we're off to the honeymoon now. It was a great reception. I must say, whoever invited Keith Chegwin must be applauded! His impression of an elephant was so bad it was funny. Thanks for the reception, Ed. Interesting fruit punch too. It tasted familiar.....

Misty Miranda 2001 – Thank you to everyone who helped to make this the wedding of the Mailbox Millennium and who put up with all this wedding business for the last few months! We’re off on honeymoon now…

Hello, Newman – I hear Bravo Text is nice at this time of year!
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Misty Miranda Newman 2001 & Hello Newman 2001 - We'd like to thank everyone for putting up with all this wedding stuff and thanks to everyone who sent in messages concerning it. And of course, thanks to you, Ed for letting us go through with it. This whole wedding thing has been significant to us because without it, we wouldn't have met for real. And because of all this, we really did fall in love with each other and could not be happier together. It'll be a good dress rehearsal for the real thing one day, and there will be such a day. Thanks Ed, and thanks to everyone.

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