| PUBLIC SERVICE |
| As a fraternal organization, Chi Square is deeply concerned about public service. Our outreach activities are as diverse as the membership of our organization. In the past, Chi Square members have performed the following acts of community service: - Spent disposable income, thus stimulating the economy and providing jobs for thousands - Purchased Girl Scout cookies (especially the thin mints - they are quite delicious) - Ate dolphin-safe tuna - Use renewable resources, such as whale oil, to light our lamps That's right. We urge all of you to follow our noble example, and help out in whatever capacity that you can. It doesn't have to be earth shattering; enough people doing little things will accomplish something, or so we are told. Our acts of public service are conscious daily efforts to make this world we all share a little better, and we hope that you can join us. |
| E-SERVICE: ART APPRECIATION |
| Although the natural sciences are the primary interest of many members of Chi Square, this does not mean that there are no lovers of the fine arts among our ranks. The public's perception of scientists as socially intept, poorly dressed, and generally unfamiliar with the higher aspects of culture is not entirely true; many of us have an intense interest in the beauty of painting, sculpture, and other forms of visual expression. Through the wonder of the internet, we at Chi Square bring you our first attempt at electronic public service: a lesson in fine art appreciation. Using scientific methods, we have managed to find those pieces of art that most clearly sum up the human condition. Through our revolutionary new program, we hope to show you the fine line between good and bad art. Simply read along, and in no time at all you will be able to impress your friends and/or family at any vaguely social event with your extensive knowledge of the arts! |
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| EXAMPLE 1: BRONZE ANTEATER STATUE, NATIONAL ZOO, WASHINGTON, DC Okay, granted, this statue looks like an anteater of the genus Myrmecophaga; it has the right size and shape. However, they got the color all wrong. And the texture? Please. This is, at best, a highly amateurish attempt to portray the noble giant anteater. VERDICT: LOUSY ART (JUST LOOK AT MATT'S EXPRESSION OF DISGUST) |
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| EXAMPLE 2: "STARRY NIGHT," VINCENT VAN GOGH To any of those college students out there, this "painting" may seem somewhat familiar. It's the one on the wall of that girl's room down the hall. At any rate, look at this monstrosity! Those globular things, are those meant to be taken as stars? Now really, have any of you seen stars that big? We didn't think so. The scale is off by a large margin. Trash trash trash. VERDICT: ABSOLUTE RUBBISH |
| NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN BAD ART, CLICK HERE TO SEE THE GOOD STUFF . . . |
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