realart

REAL ART

EXAMPLE 1: "GEORGE WASHINGTON" (OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT)

Now we're getting somewhere. Just look at the realistic nature of this painting; one cannot help but to swell with patriotism when confronted with this masterpiece. See how General Washington bends his arm so naturally, doffing his tricore in a friendly greeting to the viewer. Note the amazing detail on George's noble steed. Brilliance. Sheer brilliance. Clearly, Jen is blown away by the artistic genius behind this work.

VERDICT: INCREDIBLE, THIS IS ONE FOR THE AGES

EXAMPLE 2: "SOME DEAD WHITE DUDE WITH FUNNY HAIR"

Here is another unparalled work from the American naieve galleries of the National Gallery of Art. Look at the self-assured grin on the subject of this painting. Why does he seem so confident? Good question. We here at the Chi Square Ministry of Culture have come up with a theory:

It is a well-known fact among certain circles that the genes coding for hair tufts and degree of confidence are closely linked. We are currently believe that the two loci are ~10 cM from one another, somewhere on the q arm of chromosome 9. It would seem that the alleles of these two loci are in a state of linkage disequilibrium, with chromosomes of the genotype (big tufted hair, excessive confidence) occuring more frequently in populations than one would expect if these alleles were segregating independently. This disparity is statistically significant. We propose that this state of linkage disequilibrium is a result of population admixture. We are currently uncertain about the relationship of the afforementioned traits to early 19th century military costume, but we hope that further work will elucidate any potential genetic predisposition of tufted confident folks towards wearing such garb. Check back frequently for updates.

VERDICT: A TRULY AMAZING PIECE

EXAMPLE 3: "LAW OF THE WILD"

Here it is. The finest visual piece we have encountered up to this date. Just look at Matt's upwelling of emotion upon catching sight of this painting. It was reported that he was later found huddled in a corner, in a strange trance-like state. Such a reaction is perfectly understandable when one examines this brilliant work in detail. Look at the terror of the seal, his left front flipper bent in anatomically-improbable fashion. Look at the mighty polar bear, bursting from the cold Arctic seas, complete with disembodied foot. Clearly, the artist responsible for this masterpiece was not only a fine painter, but also an accomplished zoologist, well versed in mammalian anatomy. Wow wow wow. If you'd like to take a closer look at this umatched work, simply click on the image above.

VERDICT: THIS IS ART IN ITS PUREST FORM

To Return Home, Click on Lamarck..