The glasses are fixed, but I don�t want to get up to return them just yet. Getting up is definitely not what the doctor prescribed. I think if I have to look at Tatsumi I may just have to abandon science in favour of believing in the impossible. I�ve had some time to think about this entire friends with benefits thing�time to think about my job, my afterlife, my situation at the moment and in the perceivable future�and, most specifically, how I feel about all this.
I still don�t have an answer, but I have fixed Tatsumi�s glasses. I know his prescription, and the next time I go earth side I�m getting him a set of contacts. He has beautiful eyes�especially when they wrinkle at the corners when he laughs. He�s been dead a while, and I think only Tsuzuki remembers when he first arrived. I�m not going to ask him anything yet�Hisoka�s the one I need. Numbers, spells, empirical evidence and concrete things I can deal with. Trying to hold onto this elusive feeling is another matter entirely. My finger depresses the intercom even though I know that he�s probably gone home already�hours ago, if the clock that hasn�t failed me yet is still accurate. Yesterday type of hours ago.
Did I fall asleep at my desk again? It wouldn�t be the first time, definitely not the last. I need people, so going to a chill, empty place day after day to lie in a chill, empty bed night after night is not appealing. Even the sakura I walk by in order to go home have started to smell sour�their fragrance more annoying than soothing. It�s times like these that I miss my life. People came and went, never really staying that long�but everyone would always have time for a chat or cup of coffee with the blond Watari�my colouring a reflection of some Dutch foreigner three generations back was always a draw to the group of Japanese scientists I once worked with�I wonder how they�re doing, or if they�re even still alive. It�s possible� Now, I see the same people, possibly for the rest of my existence�I�ve got to think that I�ve given up quantity for quality in my friendships, which is why I don�t want to make any rash decisions and possibly lose one of those friends.
Hisoka. He can tell me what I feel�though, I must admit, I�m a little frightened of the prospect of letting him into my shields. I am attracted to him, his large green eyes and silky blond hair. I can�t deny it even in my thoughts. I guess I�m brooding�but no one�s around to see yet. I�ve got a good half hour before the next day at the office starts� I can afford to mope, so I do. 003�s a comfortable weight on my shoulder, sleeping. I want to do the same, but I can�t. Bon� will I disturb your slumber by calling you half an hour before you�re scheduled to come in to work? I hope not, even as I dial the number.
Yes. Most of the phones are still dials, not buttons. I find that little fact hilarious, when I�m not so introspective that it�s killing what few brain cells crossed over with me to the afterlife. The phone rings three times before it�s picked up.
�Hello?�
�Gah!� I squawk. �Sorry Tsuzuki, wrong number!� I know the violet eyed shinigami sleeps until after he was supposed to come in, and I must have woken him up, he sounds sleepy.
�Watari!� His voice reaches my ear even as I move to hang up, sounding urgent.
�Yes?� It�s placed next to my ear.
�You want to talk to �Soka-chan?�
�How did you know?�
�He�s here�just a moment.� I hear him bellow for Bon and a few moments later the unmistakable growl of the boy before breakfast greets my ear.
�What is it, Watari?�
�I need you to stop by my office as soon as possible.� I say, he pauses for a moment.
�Yeah. I�ll be there.� Before he can hang up, I have to ask the question that�s currently burning a hole in my head.
�Did I hear Tsuzuki a moment ago?� Another pause.
��yes.� From the tone of voice I can tell he�s blushing�interesting.
�This is your number, right?�
�Yes.�
�Sooo�?� I drawl. My accent is thicker when I�m tired.
�He�s here. Good morning, Watari.� I hear a click on the other end, but my day just started to look up. I know I have a nasty grin on my face as I go to the employee lounge and grab a fresh donut, and proceed to do what I do best�aside from my job that is.
Gossip.
--
Watari looks like he never went home last night, he�s still wearing the same things he had on yesterday, though they look far less pristine then they did originally. I gave up trying to work without being able to see anything about two hours after dropping my glasses off at his office, and took the rest of the day off.
First time in fifteen years. I think it was alright, even though I didn�t sleep a wink. I know I look better than he does, by virtue of the fact I�ve had a shower and changed�but he still looks good. 003�s pecking at the leftover muffins from yesterday and thoroughly amusing one of the researchers assigned to assist the summons division. He�s feeding her the raisins from his own, fresher muffin, which she is accepting with grateful little hoots. It�s amazing how much one bird that could fit in the palm of your hand can eat.
Watari�s chatting with another researcher who he seems to know well, but I can only put a last name too. He�s always been good at integrating himself with people, and I must admit I�m envious at times. It�s part of the talent that makes us different from other souls. Tsuzuki can summon shikigami, Hisoka�s an empath, I�ve got abilities of my own�Watari has perfect, photographic memory. He remembers everything that has ever happened to him, everything he�s ever heard about, seen, or thought. He may seem flighty at times, but I know it�s just because his brain has gone into processing mode. It�s why he has so many accidents in the lab as well�he has trouble remembering the here and now when he�s working since he�s spent so much of both his life and death in labs. That�s a lot of information to retain. I don�t envy him in the least.
After all, the circumstances surrounding my death are a faint image in the back of my head. He can remember every single detail, down to what it felt like to have his heart stop. Not pleasant at all. I find it amazing he can be so cheerful, and so not completely insane. I would have lost it long ago, with the memory of my birth�
Enough thought. I need my glasses.
�Watari-san?� I clear my throat. He grins, excuses himself.
�I�ve got your glasses in my office. C�mon. We can go pick them up.� He�s tired. Very, very tired. I can see the circles under his eyes�and I don�t think he�s noticed that he�s holding on to my hand. Call me perverse, but I don�t do anything to alert him to that small fact. He�s my friend, I�m his, it�s not like we haven�t touched before.
But�never held hands. Even after the days where we�ve jumped each other and been to exhausted to move, fallen asleep in the others arms�we�ve never held hands. I now know that I need to sleep at night�this entire topic is far too fascinating for something so mundane. I have better things to worry about, like how to tell Tsuzuki and Hisoka they�ve got a case when it�s rather obvious something was going on yesterday. I�ll have to find them later.
Or not. Hisoka and Tsuzuki are standing outside of Watari�s door by the time we get there.
�Bon! Tsuzuki! Good morning!� Watari greets, pulling me close enough that my sight blurs slightly. Strange that I can see anything over a foot away with perfect clarity, but try and read a book, there�s not even the blur of black on the page.
�Gooood morning!� Tsuzuki bounces, coffee and donut in hand�or rather, in stomach. I�m surprised he doesn�t choke.
�Morning.� I pull back and blink�that can�t be right. Maybe I�m still sleeping, and this is a dream. Hisoka�s smiling, in public, before noon, as a greeting. Maybe I�ve died, again. This is too surreal. Watari�s laughing nervously and turning rather red.
�Tsuzuki�come on in. Bon, can you sit in the chair? Tatsumi�� He hands me my glasses. �There you go.�
�Thank you.� I fasten them on my nose, pleased to find that he hasn�t adjusted the fit so they sit comfortably on my face. I find myself blushing too, as I get a glimpse of the partners in charge of section two. Their auras�are the same. They must have�but why was Watari blushing? He can�t see that�can he? He�s never mentioned it. Hisoka yawns, I clear my throat.
�Thank you Watari. I�ll be on my way.� I close the door quietly behind me and head back to my office. It�s only after I sit down and pull out the first file that I realize I forgot to mention the demon I�ve been chasing has relocated to their area. Damn it. I put the file away and pick up the one on information relating to the demon and head back to Watari�s office.
�I need you, Hisoka�� Watari�s passionate voice reaches my ears, seeps into my brain, and breaks my heart. I�ll give the file to Tsuzuki�later.
--
�Tsuzuki, you�ve got a little�erm�something�in your hair.� Watari looks redder than I�ve ever seen him, and his accent is so thick I have trouble noticing what he�s referring to. When I do�I turn even redder. Tsuzuki blinks and cocks his head to one side, question written in his expression and flowing through our connection. He flushes as well, since I�m so utterly mortified right now it�s seeping into his emotion self.
This connection�is interesting. I want to melt into the floor and die, but I can�t since I�m already dead. This is not how I wanted Watari to find out about�us.
�What is it?� He�s spinning around, trying to look at his hair. If I wasn�t so embarrassed, I�d laugh. He�s like a puppy, chasing it�s tail.
�A�anou�Tsuzuki�� I mumble. Watari grabs his shoulders and makes him look in a light refractor. It warps the image, but serves as enough of a mirror for him to catch on. He�s got�me�in his hair. He turns an interesting shade of crimson, then laughs and reaches out, pulling me to him bare handed.
�Guess my secret�s out of the closet, ne?� His chest rumbles when he talks, and soon, I�m laughing to.
�I didn�t know I�d need to come out�.I thought that was pretty obvious.� They gape at me. �What?�
�Did�did you just�make a joke?� Watari�s eyes are as big as dinner plates. Tsuzuki�s laughing again. I like it when he laughs�so I do too. I laugh until my stomach hurts�which doesn�t take long, since it�s not something I have much practise at. I think that won�t be as big a problem any more.
�Can I talk to you for a moment Bon?� Watari asks, and I remember why we�re here in the first place.
�I�ll go�take a shower.� Tsuzuki mumbles, still blushing a bit, and leaves us alone.
�What is it?� I ask. He�s fidgeting.
�Well�I need you�re help.�
�And?� This is nothing unusual, we help each other out on a regular basis, so why is his nervousness making me uneasy?
�IneedyoutotellmehowIfeel.� Combined with his accent, his mumbling is unintelligible.
�What?� He�s starting to annoy me. I�ve never said I didn�t have a short temper�and I�m still feeling the after effects of last night.
�I require your assistance to analyze the emotional response I am subjected to regarding Tatsumi.� He�s fallen into his science babble again, but I think I understand.
�You want me to tell you how you feel about Tatsumi? Why?�
�So I can make some decisions.�
�No. Talk to him.�
�But Hisoka�� He can make his eyes water on command�but I don�t think these are faked. I can feel tension sing through his veins, but�they need to figure this out on their own.
�No, Watari. I won�t tell you if you can�t figure it out on your own. It�s not my place. If you�re looking for confirmation, you have it. Get out of my hair.�
�I need you, Hisoka�� He�s vehement about this, but I�ve made up my mind.
�Go talk to him. If it doesn�t work, come back. I�ve got work to do.� I dismiss myself, and show myself out. I feel sorry for him, his indecision�but I know something for sure that he doesn�t.
For the second time that day, I�m smiling with no apparent reason�and getting a perverse sense of satisfaction from the frightened office workers.
Perhaps I should smile more often.
