Please read this! The story is written for fun – I do not intend to offend anyone. If it happens, I’m really sorry, I never meant that to happen.

 I’m still using the Japanese-version names.

Hiromi = Hillary

Disclaimer:  Nope, I don’t own Beyblade. Takao Aoki does.

 

The Grumbling Room: Chapter 23

 

 Yuri growled. Mind you, it wasn’t a growl, which could be associated with a human being. It sounded more like that of a wolf – very angry one.

-         Mommy! – squealed Kiki and hid behind Rei’s back.

-         Why me? – hissed the redhead. – What the hell do they want from me?

-         What is it now, pineapple-head? – Kai asked, unfazed by the Russians outburst. – Did they pair you up with Kyuoju?

-         Yes. – the redhead made a very nice imitation of Gollum, although unintentionally. Ivan started sniggering at that.

-         At least he won’t beat you and rape you. – stoically observed Boris. Takao chuckled at that, imagining his small fearful teammate turn into a bloodthirsty rapist. Evil-Kyouju still had his eyes covered with his fringe, which produced a menacing shadow. He was dressed in a tight leather outfit and held a whip. But there was something that ruined the whole image – Kyouju’s glasses and tie – they were still there. Takao grinned nevertheless.

-         What are you laughing at?! – barked the redhead.

-         Imagine Kyouju as the S/M kinda guy. – guffawed the blue-haired boy. Kai raised his eyebrow, while Rei chuckled softly. The captain of the Demolition Boys stared for a moment at the Japanese, his face blank. Finally, he grinned.

-         Boy, that’s one crazy idea! By the way Kai, you were paired up with him too!

-         I. Always. Thought. He. Was. Asexual. Full stop. – Kai said monotonely.

-         I think some authors are into S/M. – snorted the lavender-haired Russian.

-         And I think, you think, other people are like you. – Kiki huffed.

-         Everybody’s evil. Some are just acting pure and righteous.

-         How can you say such a thing?! – Takao looked outraged.

-         It’s true.

-         Of course it isn’t!

-         Prove it.

-         Oh, shut up. – Rei growled. – Go somewhere else, if you want to be so pessimistic. You didn’t have a big part, so they couldn’t censor it so much like ours anyway.

-         And the things they cut out! – snarled Kai. – You’d suppose they won’t show the episode where you battle Boris, but no – they have to cut out Max-mother conflict. And even though it isn’t half as bad as me and my grandfather.

-         Yeah, in our version Max’ mum behaved like a betrayed… er… someone? – finished Takao lamely. He started to mumble ‘Bad mental images’ shortly afterwards.

-         Poor sod. – sighed Yuri. – He’s getting affected by their ideas.

-         They changed my beautiful character too. – grumbled Rei. – I was the calm, collected and self-confident one and in the dub I sometimes behave like a brain-deprived fish.

-         I thought I was the calm, collected and confident one. – said his captain.

-         No, you’re the calm, cold and arrogant one. – the neko-jin smirked. 

-         Oh, whatever. – growled the red-eyed teenager. – Censorship is hard to understand anyway! Everything was fine in the first version, anyway.

-         Kai, I never knew, you hated girls! – sniggered Yuri.

-         Neither did I. – the blue-gray-haired boy sighed. – A part of the ‘tough guy’ behaviour maybe?

-         Basic psychology. – chimed Boris up. – Boys our age think girls are stupid and vice versa.

-         I thought girls our age like older guys. At least Hiromi does. – Takao announced.

-         That’s what she says. – snorted the older Japanese.

-         I don’t understand one thing in all those yaoi stories. – Rei remarked sourly. – Why do I end up as the housewife. I mean every time there’s a story with us leaving together I’m the one who cooks, cleans and does that stuff. Excuse me, but why? Because of my hair?

-         Nope. – sniggered Takao. – You’d be afraid to leave me in the kitchen, because I’d make my grandpa’s chili.

-         I can clean my room, but nothing more. – shrugged Kai.

-         Couldn’t we hire a maid, than? – wailed the neko-jin.

 

Souichiro Hiwatari was gleefully achieving the next level of being the Boss from Hell. Right now he had forced Balkov to admire a vase full of flowers.

-         I wonder, what do they write Yu-Gi-Oh and Beyblade crossovers for. – the old man mused. – That Kaiba-boy would undoubtedly try to take over my precious company.

-         You’d try to do the same with his.

-         That’s true. Mmm… More money. – grinned Kai’s grandfather. – But how on Earth could they join the plots of our shows without being too…

-         Do you mean making either the Yu-Gi-Oh cast able to beyblade or our cast play CCG’s? – asked the violet-haired man.

-         I meant crossing two Japans over.  – Souichiro Hiwatari sighed. – How to explain that the Yu-Gi-Oh people never mention beyblading, even though it’s the most popular sport in Beyblade?

-         You mean like in that game you kept talking about, sir?

-         Yes. – the old man had a very fanatical expression. – My Nu Gundam, my Z Gundam, ZZ Gundam, my V Gundams, my Mazinger Z, my Great Mazinger and my precious Grandizer!

-         Now, that’s Chinese. – mumbled the scientist.

-         But those were professionals working on it. – remarked Kai’s grandfather, wiping some salvia from his chin.

 

 Frauke grinned maliciously.

-         Heh… Mr. Hiwatari made one little mistake that νGundam is written with the Greek letter ‘ν’ and read Nu Gundam. – she smirked. – Not so smart now, eh Mr. Evil Overlord-wannabe?

 You’re probably wondering what I have to say? First, one small note about earlier archetypes: those from chapter 22 can be played by a female or male, while there are situations in which a male hero takes the role of one of the female archetypes from chapter 23. If Mamoru/Darien from the Sailor Moon anime isn’t a DiLDo than I’ve never seen one!

 Now, the fantasy classic! The team every RPG players knows.

 The Manly Main Guy is basically the most balanced person here, well, maybe except for the Womanly Main Chic, who is slightly weaker, but faster. It’s rather unheard of for those two not to be a pair. He’s so manly, that you can’t be manlier without turning into a muscle-loaded chauvinistic macho. Also, he’s smart, brave and handsome.

 The Big Dumb Strong Thug has no brain at all, but is stronger than an army. Usually, he listens to the orders of smarter team members and smashes only what they tell him to smash. However, he tends to go mad and destroy everything around from time to time.

 The Scrawny but Brainy Mage/Nerd/Hacker is the brain of the team. He’s weak, easily scared, but if not for his plans the team would have been killed a zillion times. Unfortunately, his brains never help him when women are concerned. He either gets dumped or the girl doesn’t notice him.

 And last but not least, the Womanly Main Chic – the other very balanced character here. Smart, daring and beautiful – this is only the beginning of the long list of her positive features. She tends to bicker with the Manly Main Guy, but they fall in love eventually.

 This team sometimes gets the help of the Tricky Thief, who basically is the Trickster. It also mostly shows up in a RPG’s, but some fantasy and sci-fi movies hold very tight to this scheme.

 

 

A/N:

The stuff grandpa Hiwatari was talking about are various mecha. They show up in different shows, but they also are in one game called ‘Super Robot Wars’. (I mentioned only a small number of those which show up in that game.)

 

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