Please read this! The story is written for fun – I do not intend to offend anyone. If it happens, I’m really sorry, I never meant that to happen.

 I’m still using the Japanese-version names.

Disclaimer: Beyblade nie jest moją własnością. (Now I’ve gotten bored with saying in German that I don’t own Beyblade, so I’m saying it in Polish instead.)

 

The Grumbling Room: Chapter 23

 

-         Oh, I hope none of us ever gets pregnant! – suddenly exclaimed Takao.

-         What are you babbling about Kinomiya? – snorted Kai. – We’re guys, we can’t get pregnant.

-         It happened quite often to Duo in GW fanfiction. – answered Takao.

-         But it’s impossible! – chimed in Yuri, sounding annoyed.

-         And it would ruin your figure. – sniggered Boris.

-         Are you implying something? – the redhead replied icily.

-         No.

-         You have problems. – growled the red-eyed Japanese. – My beautiful musculature disappears in V-force, even though I’m the oldest and the manliest part of the team.

-         At least I don’t look fat anymore. – shrugged his blue-haired teammate.

-         And I still look good. – added Rei.

-         Just don’t start talking about team spirit next time we’re in trouble. – snarled their captain.

-         Why did they change the chara-designer, anyway? – wondered Ivan.

-         Simple, they had money to do so. – answered Yuri indifferently.

-         I wonder, how come you people jump from all those strange places and not get hurt? – mused Takao.

-         Neko-jin have better balance than humans. – answered Kiki.

-         Training. – chorused Kai, Yuri and Ivan.

-         I thought it was anime-physics? – Boris sounded faintly surprised.

-         I guess. – agreed the blue-grey-haired teenager. – But than we aren’t half as bad as characters from X: we don’t make walks on tree tops, don’t jump from roof to roof and on a street light.

-         Kai, why aren’t you tripping over your scarf? – asked the smaller Bladebreaker.

-         Dunno. – the other Japanese shrugged. – Maybe it has been genetically improved? But I do remember you jumping pretty high with out any aid. Just face it it’s anime-physics and therefore unrealistic.

-         Geez, wouldn’t it be out of character for Rei to hate Mao? – asked Kiki.

-         Did I ever act as if I didn’t like her? – sighed the black-haired Chinese. – The correct answer is no. Don’t get why I shouldn’t like her?

-         Some people think she stalks you. – Boris said and yawned.

-         And where’s the proof, I ask you?

-         Who needs proof, let’s burn the witch. – snorted Yuri.

-         Yeah, she turned me into a newt! – piped up Ivan.

-         A newt?

-         I got better.

-         Okay, whoever let them watch Monthy Python is giving me his collection. – announced Kai, in a tune that clearly meant ‘No objections.’

-         Suppose somebody paired them? – piped up Kiki sounding mischievous.

-         That’s impractical. – huffed the red-haired Russian and lifted Ivan by the scruff of his neck. – I have to do this so we’re on the same eye-level.

-         You’re admitting you’re lazy, than? – commented dryly the captain of the Japanese team.

-         You noticed, that there aren’t any black or Indian OC’s? – chimed in Rei.

-         Er… - the other beybladers looked at the golden-eyed teen blankly.

-         We’re all racists deep down? – volunteered the lavender-haired Russian.

-         Too hard to remember about the skin colour? – added Takao.

-         Never came to their minds? – suggested his captain.

-         They’re afraid to be considered racist, if they use the word Negro? – chimed in the blue-eyed Russian.

 

 Balkov managed to get his revenge – he poured some milk into Souichiro Hiwatari’s tea and even add some pepper to it. The old man started spitting and coughing as soon as he tasted the drink. The scientist regretted immediately he didn’t pour some Cherry Coke – just for a better effect. However, his glee was short lived – the Japanese managed to spit half of the contance of his mug on the violet-haired man.

-         Such childish jokes do not suit a man of your age Balkov. – said Kai’s grandfather sounding very placid and polite.

-         It wasn’t me! – protested the scientist.

-         Now, don’t be childish.

-         Yessir.

-         Ah-h-h, I wonder what happens to the teachers in all those stories? – mused the older man. – They all seem so… inept.

-         The writers wish it were so in reality. – answered the scientist indifferently. – Or they watch too much high school movies.

-         But some teacher’s are inept in a vicious way. Why, I remember one trying to give Kai bad notes in English, just because of those triangles. – sighed Souichiro Hiwatari.

-          It does seem strange, they’re so afraid of the children… - continued the violet-haired man not paying attention to the Japanese. – A good teacher should be scary and not scared!

-         You being the example?

-         That’s what I’m being paid for.

 

 

  The red-haired prostitute was cheerfully playing on a gameboy, occasionally uttering the fraze ‘Die already’. She looked up after a while and turned off the gameboy.

 - Nice to see you back. – she smiled. – What did I promise to talk about?.. Ah-h yes, the girls. Now, most good teams have at least one with them.

 The first would be the Damsel in Distress (also Damsel in Lethal Distress, oh! – short DiLDo), so often met in fantasy, fairy tales and everywhere else. She’s beautiful and attracts trouble like a magnet. The hero usually meets her when she’s in lethal danger and saves her. They fall in love and she gets kidnapped several times during the story. Some people believe she’s not as stupid as she seems, but she hides it well. After all the hero does whatever she says.

 StR:

-         various princesses from fairy tales

-         Loise Lane (Superman)

-         Relena (Gundam Wing)

-         Saori Kido (Saint Seiya)

 The next would be the Vicious Amazon. This lady hates men. She loathes them to the point it’s unreasonable, but only till the main hero seduces her… Then she agrees that men aren’t so bad. She’s loud, aggressive and headstrong. Unfortunately, she can’t manage on her own and needs a man’s strong arm to protect her. A tool of antifeminist propaganda aimed at showing the women that they are weak and should be good girls and listen to their daddies or husbands.

 StR:

- various cheep romance and older Sci-Fi heroines

 A closely related girl to the earlier species is the Though Chic. This lady is emancipated and usually no longer hates man. While still stubborn and aggressive, she can manage on her own. Tends to be quite smart.

 StR:

-         Lessa (Dragonriders of Pern)

-         Lina Inverse (Slayers)

-         Larry Vincent (Gunsmith Cats)

 The Dear Aunty doesn’t have to be very old, but has a tendency to be smarter than all the men in the team or has the ability to solve problems the rest of the team would never manage. She believes that feeding is very important and will cook porridge for breakfast even in the middle of the jungle. She will also look like a true lady no matter what happens. Can take the Wizard-Mentors role.

StR:

-         Miss Jane Marple (Miss Marple Mysteries)

-         Polgara (Belgariad and Malloreon)

-         Sepherenia (Elenium)

 The Cheerful Chipmunk usually behaves and looks cute and happy. A little hyperball, who is the comical relief. She may get in to trouble, but doesn’t attract it like the DiLDo. Chaos is her domain. Loves plushies and fluffy things, not to mention candy.

StR:

-         Minako/Mina P (Sailor Moon)

-         Miwako (Paradise Kiss)

-         Minnie May (Gunsmith Cats)

The Shabby Mouse is quiet, shy and generally nerdy. But with the help of the main hero she gains self-esteem and suddenly is the greatest looking girl in the area.

StR:

-         various cheep romance and high school movies heroines

-         Kira Asou (Mars)

 

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