Disclaimer: I don’t own One Piece.

 

Guardian Spirit

~Nami~

 

 Zoro and Luffy are integrating. Right now greenhead-dearest admitted he’s lost. Can you believe it? He can’t find his way home… I honestly, wonder how can someone do that? You can’t just forget where your home was!

 Luffy isn’t much better either. Who would have guessed that the ‘future King of Pirates’ doesn’t even have the basic sailing skills and that the difference between north and south doesn’t exist for him? Man!

 Oh, and they’re both hungry. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Why didn’t any of them think of taking a fishing rod, than?.. Wait, raw fish isn’t healthy. Happily, I don’t have to worry about such things - I’m dead and dead don’t eat, after all.

 ‘Oh, a bird.’ Oh, it’s flying. I have no idea why did you say that Zoro?

 ‘It looks like a huge one. Let’s eat it!’ How?..

 ‘How?..’

 ‘Leave it to me!’ I have a baaad feeling about it! ‘Gomu Gomu Rocket!’

 ‘Figures.’ Now you’re smart, after the harm is done, Zoro? I believe the bird must have been pretty happy to get lunch, which came to him… After the first shock of being hit by it, that is.

 Now we have to find Luffy, before the bird decides it likes chewing gum… Soon I will have a neurosis. Or schizophrenia. Maybe paranoia?

 ***********************                                           

 Guess what we found? No, not Luffy.  Pirates - the followers of Buggy the Clown. Three of them. Thought they’re very scary and that they could kill Zoro.

 Now they’re helping him find Luffy and acting like three fearful puppies… And they insisted on telling how they ended up in water. Morons. To let somebody trick one is utterly stupid. But I’m talking about followers of some clown, so I shouldn’t expect them to be extremely smart, should I?

 By the way, if the girl really is so good with guessing weather as they said, it might be a good idea to…

 ‘…Maybe she could become our navigator?’ Exactly what I wanted to say. Sometimes you have good ideas Zoro. But I shouldn’t praise you too much - some of them are pretty moronic. What would do you without me?.. Never mind, you don’t know I’m here.

 ***********************                                           

‘We arrived Zoro-sama!’ Sheesh, those pirates these days. Afraid of everything, they are!

 ‘This town is deserted?’ Seems so. Wonder what happened? Is it me or do those pirates look pretty sheepish now?

 ‘Well, the Buggy gang is currently raiding this town.’ This explains everything. Pirates! ‘What are we gonna tell Captain Buggy?!’ Yo, Capt.-man! We just lost yer treasure, but don’cha worry! We know how the one who did it looks like! Their captain will probably skin them alive, anyway. ‘We have to tell what happened!… But the girl is probably on the other side of the ocean by now!’ How thoughtful of you! What use information about a girl, who is far away, would do?

 So their captain ate an Evil Fruit? Wonder what’s up with pirates and those - first Luffy and now this Buggy-fellow. Must be a fashion statement.

 ***********************

 There’s Luffy! In a cage nonetheless. How wonderful of him to get caught. I do hope, he’ll get smarter with time, otherwise we’re doomed.

 It seems the whole Buggy gang is as brave as the two we met earlier. Right now they’re trying to kill a girl - lots of them and one girl… Big bad men are cowards! I’m sticking my tongue at them.

 ‘That much of you to beat one girl?’ Well, it depends on the girl, kid. They’d have trouble with defeating me… if I were alive that is.

 ‘Wha?..’

 ‘Zorro!!!’ Hello, Captain. What a pleasant surprise... you’re in a cage - still better then a barrel. Do I have to look after you too?

 Heh!.. Those pirates do seem really surprised. Well, being famous isn’t so bad, after all - though it would be even nicer, if people weren’t convinced that you eat babies for breakfast, Zoro.

 ‘Are you fine?’ Zoro asked the girl.

 ‘Yeah..’ That’s nice. I wonder, what on Earth had possessed her to go to pirate camp. I don’t think she wanted to commit suicide, but than people do some awfully strange things.

 ‘Way to figure out I was here!’ Sorry to disappoint you Luffy, but we only had luck. ‘Hurry up and get me outta here!’

 This shouldn’t prove difficult. Just look at those jokes, cowering before Zoro. Well, the cage may be tricky…

‘Quit playing around Luffy! You idiot let yourself get caught by a bird and land in a cage!’ Good point, kid. You think he will listen? I wouldn’t count on wonders.

 ‘Zoro?! Did he say Zoro?! As in Pirate hunter Zoro?’ Why yes, my poor pirates. Is something wrong? Feeling a slight unease? Or maybe you’re plainly freaking out? ‘Why is he talking to that thief?’ What thief? Luffy?.. Or maybe the girl?

 ‘So that’s the friend he was talking about… How did he manage?..’ You don’t want to know, girl. Well, actually the story isn’t that bad, but it’s not the right time. Zoro you might want to get moving and get your captain out of here as well.

 Well, well what do we have here - a pirate with a rubber snout! Wonder if he knows, how ridiculous he looks like?

 ‘Roronoa Zoro, are you here to take my head?’ No, he’s here to take his captain back…

 ‘I’ve stopped hunting pirates.’ Too true, he’s one now.

 ‘Well, it doesn’t matter - I want to kill you.’ Another one bites the dust!

 ‘Stop it, or you’ll end up dead.’ You said it, kid!

 Look at those pirates cheering that idiot of clown. They believe he could beat Zoro. Hah! As if that could happen! Morons.

 ‘If you don’t take me seriously, you’ll be the one, who ends up dead.’ Yeah, right - do you see any flying cows?

 ‘If that’s what you want!!!’ If I were Buggy, I’d be miles away by now. Just look at Zoro’s smile… He looks like psychotic cat, actually when he smirks like that.

 Wait a second. Didn’t those three tell something about eating an Evil Fruit, or something? Now, I wonder… Something does seem off. Why doesn’t this Buggy bleed? He just had his head and leg cut off, so there should be a fountain of blood. Hurry up Zoro and get out of here fast! I definitely don’t like it.

 Why are they laughing? Why are those pirates laughing? Didn’t their captain just get killed? They shouldn’t be laughing, should they?

 No. That’s impossible. He just put him back together. I can’t really explain this better - it’s as if his body wasn’t alive, but something you can stick together and cut of without hurting him. H… his hand is floating?.. The knives... Blood? Zoro! Blasted clown-faced moron! You don't attack from behind, you honourless dog!

 ‘I ate the Bara Bara fruit! And I cannot be cut apart!’ I noticed that. Thank you for stating the obvious. But if you’re o-so-great-and-mighty why did you have to sneak up on Zoro? ‘Are you hurt Roronoa Zoro? Did I miss something?’

 At least Zoro doesn’t have a rubber snout.

 Well, we’re in trouble. If rubber-nose goes on with fighting Zoro, I don’t think they’ll get out alive. Sometimes I really wish, I were alive.

 ‘That’s not fair stabbing him from behind, you BIG NOSE!!!’ And Luffy chose just the right moment to insult Buggy. That’s it. I’m getting a neurosis.

 ‘Anything but this…’The girl looked really nervous, when she heard Luffy yell that.

 ‘Did you just say big nose?’ Why does he gets worked up about that? He should have got used to that, by now. Well, maybe not... But I still think he's over-reacting.

 'I'm going to kich your ass!!!' A'h Luffy... I wonder how is he going to do that, if that Buggy can separate before every hit, but the Straw Hat Boy never seemed logical... So I guess, I can't expect he'll start behaving logically now, can I?

 And the clown is laughing... I do hope he'll choke or something. But right now: Zoro think! I can't help you, if you're dead!

 Tactical retreat. What a fine day...

 *************************

 The cage doesn't want to open. Guess, Miss Thief stole the wrong key.

 'Open, you stupid cage!' You know Luffy, screaming at doors never makes them open up. Seriously, this is so grothesque.

 Oh, a dog. Wonder what is it doing here? And why isn't it moving? I mean, dogs usually do something, don't they? They bark, wag their tails, run or bite. And this one sites and stares... Maybe it's dead?

 'What's that dog doing?' Sitting Zoro, sitting... And staring.

 'Is it really a dog?' No, of course not Luffy, it's Helmepp's new body. Of course, it's a dog! 'It isn't moving at all.' I noticed that. Maybe it's a guard-dog? Wait, those are bigger.

 'Do I look like I cared? You should worry how to get out of this cage.' You're absolutely, complitely, totally right, kid.

 'Is it dead? Aww!' Dead dogs stink and attract flies. Not to mention they don't sit. 'What are you doing dog?' Sitting Luffy, sitting... and staring. And now it barked at you.

 Umm... Zoro?.. I don't think falling asleep in the middle of the street is such a good idea. Even if you lost much blood... Never mind. It's no use anyway.

 *************************

 Seems we missed quite much, kid. Buildings in ruin, something big and furry there... My, my Luffy can make a real mess, when he wants to. Not to mention being woken up by the colapsing of the house, you're currently in, isn't what I would describe as fun.

 'Hey Zoro are you alive?' Does he look dead to you Luffy?

 'That's a bad way to wake up...' That's an understatement.

 'Great! you're alive!' I'm happy too, capt.

 'It's as if my heart had been pulled out!' Suddenly, an old man, whom I previously hadn't noticed, started talking. Was he upset that Zoro was alive? Or did he mean the destruction?

 'Chief.' Miss Thief is trying to be soothing, I see... Wait, what chief?!

  Man this guy sure can yell. Okay, so Buggy destroyed forty years of his life? Funny, reminds me of a story I heard once. But it was a woman, who said that line... And those were different circumstances. So he wants to defand his town? A honourable man.

 'Come and fight!' A brave man... and yet stupid. He's too old, he'll die. Well, unless Miss Thief lets himg, that is.

 'Let go girl!' No girl, don't let go.

 'And what can you do to them? It's reckless!' Most man don't care, if something is reckless... They have no self-preservation instinc whatsoever.

 'I know it's reckless!' Well, that's jolly nice. But you're still going to kill youreself, aren't you? Man...

 'The village chief... He was crying!..' What did you think, girl? You honestly believe that crap about manly man, who don't cry? They do... When nobody sees them.

 'Really? I didn't see that.' Seems Luffy has some tact.

 'I'm starting to get excited now! H'mm... I think, I understand kid. Luffy does too - I guess that's why his laughing. Nothing like a new fight, eh?

 'It's not the right time to be laughing!' You don't understand, girl...

 'It's all right! I like the old man and won't let him die!' I do hope, you'll manage to save him Luffy.

 'How can you be so confident?' It's inborn stupidity, not confidence... But it's not as if he wouldn't do what he promissed. People will be to surprised by the sheer imposibility to opose.

 'We're going to the Grand Line! We have to get the map one more time!' I hate to brake your bubble Luffy, but we need it for a long time. Preferably until we leave Grand Line. 'Join my crew! You need the map and your treasure?' I don't think, this is going to work. Miss Thief doesn't look like good pirate-to-be.

 'I won't become a pirate!' Told you so! 'Can we call it 'an alliance'? We're working for the same goals!' Hn. I still say she won't be a good pirate. 'What about you're stomach? You're still wounded.' Well, that's my job, so don't worry, girl. I can keep him in shape long enough.

  'They wounded my pride more than my stomach.' That's also true... 'Let's go.'

  'Yeah!' Aw, capt! So nice to see you're so enthusiastic... Like always.

 ***********************

  Mr.-Chief-What's-His-Name got himself into trouble, like any normal man, who doesn't have a woman to watch over him. I'm starting to believe, that taking Miss Thief on board isn't such a bad idea after all. She might keep those two from doig something really, really stupid. Well, she may not... But it's worth a try.

 But back to Chief-Whatever-His-Name-Is. Buggy is trying to kill him and I don't think anyone I know here likes it.

 'I'VE COME TO KICK YOUR ASS LIKE I PROMISED!!!' A little louder Luffy, Buggy might heaven't heard you.

 'How dare you stroll up to me!!!' Should we run up to you, Rubber-Nose?

 'You're job is to fight. I'll look for the treasure and the map.' My, my how brave of you Miss Thief.

 'Gotcha.' Zoro...

 'Children...' Chidren?! Where?! Oh, he's talking to us. 'Why have you come? Strangers shouldn't get involved.' Who said that? If strangers wouldn't get involved, I shudder to think how the world would look like. 'This is my fight and town - I will protect it!' Right. You'll die old man. An honourable, but unnecessary death.

 Luffy! Are you nuts?! You want to kill that man?! How dare you hit a defanceless old man?

 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' Well, capt you'd better have a good reason or Miss Thief is going to tear you into shreds. 'WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO THE CHIEF?!'

 'HE WAS IN THE WAY!' That wasn't a good answer Straw Hat.

 'It's for the best. That old guy would have died - he's safer knocked out.' It is a point, kid...

 'Don't be stupid!' They aren't stupid Miss Thief. It's quite farfetched, but logical when you think about it for a moment.

 'BIG NOSE!!!' Maybe a bit louder, Luffy? I think he hadn't heard you again.

 What a nice comotion dear captain caused. Miss Thief is sreaming, Buggy is yelling and so is Luffy. What did that clown say? Was it 'blow him up'? If it was we're in...

 'Gomu, gomu BALLOON!' Well, we're not in trouble. Or maybe our problems are a bit smaller. Now, I wonder, how is Luffy going to beat Buggy? Not by yelling at him and pretanding his a balloon I presume?

 'What the hell are you?!' Wow Miss Thief, you do have a loud voice. I think, I will not only have paranoia, but I will also go deaf.

 'A nuisance.' Zoro, congratulations on that remark. My boy!

 'I want some explanations!' You just got one. Aren't you satisfied? 'This whole buissness has been fishy! Ever since you thought that lion, I knew something was off!' What lion?! 'No human could do that! How did you puff up like a ballon like that?!' He ate a Devil Fruit obviously.

 'It was a Gomu Gomu Balloon!' That doesn't answer anything Luffy.

 'YEAH, AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?' That's it, I'm going deaf. That clown could stop yelling as well. Is he trying to compansate for his nose or what?

 And who's that weirdo on a wheel? This place is full of freaks! Is he holding a lion? What the hell is going on?!

 'He used his friends as a shield!' You know Miss Thief, you're quite a hypocrite - you use Zoro and Luffy as shields, just not so blatantly.

 'This has been the greatest disgrace since we formed, wasn't it captain?'

 'I'm too furious to even speak now!' And what did you do now, Rubber-Nose? If you weren't speaking than what?

 'I got knocked out...' Someone with a very furry torso got up from the rabbles. 'What happened?..' Luffy was showing off - that's what.

 'Mohji... You're still alive..' And you're bouncing from joy, ey Circus-Man?

 'Hey Cabaji!..' Those two must simply adore eachother, I see. 'What the hell are you doing to Richie?!'

 'Huh?.. Oh, that cat? I couldn't allow my clothes to be soiled, so I used it as a shield.' Charming.

 'Hey Richie! Are you OK?!' Does it look OK? When God was giving out brain, you went to get yourself extra hair, didn't you? 'You dirty bastard!' As I said - they practically love eachother, don't they?

  Wonder why is this... Mohji?.. staring like that at Luffy. Carefull Mister! You may swallow a fly, if you don't stop gaping! Pirates these days!..

 'The Straw Hat Boy! Captain watch out for him!!! He has the power of a Devil Fruit - he's a Gomu Human!!!' Oh, really? And I didn't notice! What else are you hiding Luffy? Do you have brother who also is a pirate and also ate a Devil Fruit? Does this furry moron think his captain is blind, or what?

 'Gomu Human?' Yes Miss Thief, that's how he managed to that Gomu Gomu Balloon...

 'A Devil Fruit?!' I was wrong. Buggy is either blind or stupid... Or both. 'That's why he was able bounce back the Buggy Ball!' No jokes! 'But Mohji, if you knew that earlier, why didn't you tell me?!'

 'I did tell you!'

 So there we go again - everybody is screaming again. Can't they stop yelling for a while? I may be dead, but it doesn't mean I can't hear.

 'The Buggy Crew Chief of Staff Cabaji the Acrobat!' Should I aplaud? 'I shall fight!' He-has-a-sword! You're dead, buddy. Zoro-kun! Excersie time!

 'If you want to fight with swords, I'll be you're opponent!'

 'What an honour Roronoa Zoro... To be the one, who kills you.' Dream on.

 'Hey Zoro, lay off and I'll finish him.' You're joknig Luffy! Zoro won't back down, never!

  Well, if that circus idiot thought, he's going to have it easy he was mistaken. Even if he's very fast due to this bike-thing of his, he won't beat Zoro. He kicked Zoro in the wound! How dare he?! After I worked so hard to keep the kid in shape! KICK HIS ASS, ZORO!!!

 'Ooops! I didn't kick you very hard, did I?' You are so dead!

 'What a cheap shot! He aimed for a wound!' Right you are Miss Thief!.. What was that?! What did he need that dirt for?..

 'Aaargh!'He did it again! If I had a body, I'd be growling and gritting my teeth. This Cabaji is one honourless bastard!

 'What happened? It's pathetic to hear such a big man scream.' Oh yeah? Well, I think seeing a swordfighter use such cheap tricks as yours is more than pathetic. And I'm still sure Zoro will show you. 'You may call yourself Pirate Hunter, but it was your greatest mistake to challange the Buggy Crew.' Don't make me laugh! You're not as half as good as Zoro! That Kid will defeat you no matter what. How do I know? Just look at his expression - the pscho-cat face is here.

 'He can't fight on in this condition!' Have some faith Thief-Girl. 'Why are you sitting here and watching?!' Because it's Zoro's fight, not his? 'He'll get killed!' No, he won't.

 ************************

 It's over. Zoro won - it was obvious he would. And fell asleep the moment his opponent hit the earth, might I add. But I'm not really complaining, since it's much easier to 'improve' his health that way. I can't do anything big, because someone might notice and that shouldn't happen, but it's better to be careful. You know, what could happen if I left him to walk about with an unchecked wound? Imagine you're little brother (if you have one), trying to be manly after hurting himself and multiply it by tousend - you'll have a vague idea then.

 Luffy and Miss Thief defeated Buggy. Straw Hat says, that Thief-Girl tied that clown-wannabe's most body parts and he threw them away. Than he kicked out what was left of Buggy... Let's hope the freak drowned, I don't think we need him comming back, screaming 'Vengance!'.

 We got ourselves a navigator. It's Miss Thief, or rather Nami. I could tell she's nice and do the boring blah-blah-blah... But I'm not sure about her. She really does seem to have a grudge against pirates and she still joined Luffy - if this isn't suspicious, than I don't know what that word means. I hope it doesn't mean some bad-guy from her past will appear someday demanding a ransom and threatening to rape us, our families and furniture, than torture us and finally kill us. What a nonsense! I think, being a ghost is getting to me... Or maybe rather not being able to talk to anyone. I'm starting to act like some idiot at times. Maybe it's Luffy's influance? Whatever!..

 

 

A/N

 Sorry for making you wait... I usually update faster, but my computer went down. (gives the infernal annoyance an angry look). Really, really sorry about making you wait!

 Anyway, I know that Kuina should tell the whole fight, but I don't remember it to exactly, so it had to be cut.

 

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