| Released August 3rd, 2008 Abyss of Oblivion by Missbevcrusher Rated [R] Standard Disclaimer: They're not mine, never have been. This is just harmless fanfic. Chapter 8 Two days since her rescue. Picard contemplated the spherical ship outside the viewport of his ready-room with disgust. He couldn�t wait for this mission to be over so that he wouldn�t have to see that damned ship in the starscape anymore. On more than one occasion, he�d been tempted to blacken his window to shut out the offensive view, but the stubbornness that refused to break in front of anything Borg had prevailed each time. With his attention purposely turned to the reports on his desk, Picard barely flinched at the sound of the chime. �Come.� The doors parted to reveal Dr. Tropp. �Doctor, please come in. Have a seat.� The acting CMO did as he was told and started to give his report. �We�ve analyzed Dr. Crusher�s genetic makeup and have identified all the markers that are preventing us from removing the Borg DNA. It will take further testing and analysis, but if we don�t hit any more snags, we should be able to start Bolaric�s therapies by the end of the week.� �That�s good to hear. What are the chances of success?� �To be honest, it could go both ways. Assimilation science is still somewhat at its infancy and there are too many unknown variables to consider.� Picard reclined in his chair and absorbed the information. �So there�s a chance that we won�t be able to restore her back.� �I wish I could say that it was a minimal chance, but in all honesty it�s fairly significant.� �I see.� There was a moment of silence. �If I may make a suggestion, Captain?� Dr. Tropp leaned slightly forward. �Dr. Crusher is of no threat to anyone on board. So aside from the times she needs to regenerate and the times we need to conduct tests on her, I see no reason why she has to stay in the lab all the time. It might do her some good to get out. As you two are close friends, I�d have no objection to release her in your care for a few hours. If you have the time, that is.� �Of course I�ll make the time, Doctor. Whatever she needs, I�m there for her.� �Good.� Dr. Tropp got up. �We�ll get her ready.� * * * * By the time Picard made his way down to the lab, Beverly had been given clothes to cover her barely-there cybernetic attire. Although not entirely successful, the modest clothing seemed to give her more of her humanity back. The sweater she wore was of a light purplish gray color and her pants a simple black. When her gaze fell on the captain�s, he responded by smiling warmly. �Hello, Beverly.� Her Borg mind still struggling with human greetings, the doctor regarded him, giving no greeting in turn. Not deterred in the least, Jean-Luc approached. �I thought we could go for a little walk together. Would you like that?� �That would be� acceptable.� Her response was the Borg equivalent of a human jumping up and down joyously. Side by side, the two exited the lab and made their way up the corridor. While their speed was a perfect match, the delivery of their movements was anything but. Jean-Luc�s was relaxed, while Beverly�s was somewhat sharp, sort of like the quick and dry movements of Earth�s reptilian species. Especially in the way she looked around her. �Deck 23. Corridor junction C three,� Beverly said as she analyzed her surroundings. �That�s right.� A sad smile pulled at the corners of Picard�s mouth. They continued on �til they reached the turbolift. When they boarded, Picard said his destination, �Deck Five.� When they arrived at destination, Beverly exited first, followed closely by the captain. As they started to go up the corridor, a door caught the doctor�s eyes. �Deck Five� room number 43. Assigned quarters for Dr. Beverly Crusher.� �Yes, those are your quarters.� At first, Crusher seemed to hesitate. �It�s alright. We can go inside if you want.� When she took a step forward, the sensors failed to recognize her due to the absence of her communicator as well as her altered DNA. The doors remained shut. Chagrined, the captain reached over and used his override to gain access to the room beyond. With a heavy heart, he then followed her inside. �Computer, increase lighting to fifty percent.� The doctor made her way toward the bookshelf on the far side of the room. Her eyes scanned the neatly arranged objects until it landed on one in particular. It took a few more seconds before she said anything, but when she did, it reminded the captain of the woman she used to be. �Wesley�� �Yes, your son,� Picard whispered. Beverly set the photograph back down and turned to take in the rest of her surroundings. Finally, she walked toward him and stopped when he was at arm�s length. Her colorless stare seemed to be laced with the slightest hint of the woman tucked away beneath everything. �Friends�� Jean-Luc had to blink back tears as he responded, �Yes, we�re very good friends and we always will be.� ��Thank you�� Those words were the most human she�d uttered since her assimilation. Beverly extended her hand forward and waited for him to grasp it in his. When he did, although her touch was still very mechanical in nature, Picard fought to keep the tightening in his throat from overwhelming him. His best friend had broken through and reached out to him. At that moment, it took everything he had not to pull her to him and hold on tightly. He knew her Borg persona would not be comfortable with the gesture, so he held back. A few seconds later, Beverly pulled her hand slowly away and turned toward her bedroom. As she made her way there, Jean-Luc did not follow. After all, aside from the other night when he thought she was gone from his life for good, he�d never allowed himself in her bedroom. But then, Beverly stopped as she reached the threshold and turned to look at him. For some reason, he knew she wanted him to follow, so he did. The doctor continued her visual assessment as she named the scientific names for the flowers adorning her dresser as well as several other objects throughout her room. When her eyes settled on the journal that rested on her nightstand, she made her way toward it. All the while, Jean-Luc watched in silence from the doorway. �A journal� an archaic from of documentation�� Picard walked over to her. �It might be somewhat archaic, but in my opinion, it�s one of the most beautiful ways of expressing oneself.� Beverly looked up at him, her stare blank. �As a matter of fact� if I had to name one thing that best described who you were�� He caught himself. �Who you still are, it would have to be the words you wrote in that journal.� Beverly did not react at the intrusion of her privacy, but the captain felt the need to explain nonetheless. �When I thought� that you weren�t coming back� that I�d lost you for good� I felt compelled to come here one night and I read some of it. I�m sorry if I crossed the line there.� �May we read it?� �Of course.� He stumbled slightly with the words. �It�s yours. You can read it as often as you�d like.� Beverly opened the journal and started reading. She might as well have been an android, because it only took a few seconds to analyze the contents on each page. At least she was interested in what the journal had to say� what her former self had to say. It�s a start� * * * * For the next few days, it was not an uncommon sight to see the captain strolling about the ship with Dr. Crusher by his side. Pretty much the whole time they were out, he was the one doing the talking. The topic wasn�t really important. He�d usually start with whatever came to mind and Beverly would listen. At times, she would ask basic questions but that was about it. And even though she was Borg, Jean-Luc found solace in those moments spent in her company. For despite what she was now� she was still Beverly, she was still his best friend, and the woman he loved with every ounce of his being. The Beverly Crusher he�d known had always loved flowers, so at one point he decided to bring her to the arboretum. As she looked around to the many exotic species of plants and flowers around her, it was as if the faintest hint of the human in her was trying to pierce its way to the surface. Jean-Luc watched in silence as she extended her hand to brush against a white flower blossom at the end of a small branch. As he focused on her delicate hand, he was reminded of the elegant tenderness he�d always found there. If it hadn�t been for the lifeless tint of her skin, just by seeing the way the petals were being gently scooped up, he would have thought he was seeing the old Beverly. The longing he now felt for the woman she used to be enveloped him in his entirety. Although Picard was not a religious man, at that moment, all he could do was pray that they�d be able to change her back. How he missed the mischievous glimmer in her once playful eyes� her infectious laugh� Will I ever experience those again? He tried his best to discard those doubts. He would try to live in the moment and appreciate what he had, which was another chance at having his best friend back� no matter what her condition was. * * * * On the eve of her Bolaric�s therapy session, Jean-Luc decided to stay with her until the time came to regenerate. At some point, when the two were alone in the engineering lab, Beverly surprised him with a statement. �We remember what it was like to be human.� Unlike Hugh, a drone they had disconnected from the hive several years back, Beverly had only been a Borg for a very short time. Therefore she had not forgotten what it felt like to be fully human�frustrating for the woman who had been so full of life and warmth. Somewhere buried under the over-analytical mind was Beverly Crusher�s heart. The one that lived, laughed, and loved the man who now stood before her. But all of that was locked away beneath several layers of altered DNA and cybernetic components. Despite a display that lacked emotion, what Beverly felt inside was as powerful as anything she�d ever experienced before. She was eternally grateful for this wonderful man. In this darkest of time, he had been there for her. He had been her pillar just like he had been countless times before. � what would I do without you? Beverly knew full well that he was a man that could easily clam up on himself after such an ordeal, but instead of doing that, he had devoted himself to her, to her wellbeing. He was her link to the life she had known and just the love she felt for him was enough to keep the human spark alive within her. �I know you do.� His voice was so tender it was able to reach the innermost parts of her soul. �What if we cannot be human again?� At her question, the captain closed his eyes, for it pained him beyond anything he thought possible. He took a few steps closer to her and did something he didn�t think he�d be able to do. Jean-Luc gazed into her colorless eyes the same way he would have if they�d been the calming blue they used to be. With a soothing intensity, he sought out the humanity which he knew was still there. It was a priceless treasure which was now carefully hidden. He raised his hand and tenderly cupped her chin with it. With his thumb, he caressed her soft skin. �You will be. If not tomorrow, then someday. But know that I will be there with you each and every step of the way.� He paused. �I promise.� Despite an outward lack of emotion, Beverly�s innermost thoughts were laced with gratitude. I love you so much� When the doctor finally settled against her regeneration unit, she cast one final glance at him. And as simple as it was, it conveyed everything that had meant the world to them for all these years. Their friendship was as solid now as it had ever been. When the unit was activated, Beverly�s eyes closed immediately and she froze as would a marble statue. For a long time after, Jean-Luc stood there and watched her. * * * * Counselor Troi regarded the captain and doctor as they walked slightly ahead of her in the corridor. Beverly was about to undergo her treatment in sickbay, where they were now headed. Deanna was happy with the way things had progressed in the previous days. The captain had been able to put his self-loathing on the back-burner while he focused his energies on helping Beverly. It was a step in the right direction, that much was certain. She could only hope it would last. Troi would have to make it a point to monitor the situation closely. She feared once the crisis died down, that Picard�s reclusive nature would again creep in on him and that it would give way to the guilt once more. And that was a real possibility since she knew that Beverly�s recovery would be a long and arduous one. * * * * �Beverly.� Deanna looked down at her friend who lay on a biobed in one of sickbay�s operating rooms. �The doctors are about to start treating you now. The captain is going to stay with you. I have to go, but I�ll come back in a little while to see how you�re doing.� With a small smile, the counselor retreated. Before she left, she quickly cast an encouraging glance at Picard who now sat in a chair by Crusher�s side. �The first thing we will do is use the Bolaric�s therapy to shield the genetic markers that are preventing her from being de-assimilated,� Dr. Tropp said as he finished setting up what he needed in the private treatment room. �If we�re successful, the next step will be to initiate the same treatment we used on you when you were assimilated, Captain.� Picard nodded. �I wish we could sedate her during this process, but as you must know, we can�t. It will be uncomfortable for her, but I assure you the pain should be bearable.� Tropp looked at the doors as Dr. Martin and the rest of the medical team walked in. Then back to Picard, he continued, �Only once her human DNA has taken over will we be able to sedate her and then prep her for surgery to remove the rest of the Borg implants.� Concerns over her welfare eclipsed any sense of hopeful anticipation Jean-Luc felt at that moment. With careful reigns on his emotions, he watched as everybody readied themselves for the procedures ahead. When he brought his stare back to the woman clad only in her cybernetic attire, he couldn�t help but see her fragile humanity beneath it all. Just as Dr. Tropp approached Beverly with a hypo containing the first compounds to be used, she looked sideways at her best friend. �It�s going to be alright,� was all Jean-Luc could think of saying as the she received her first of many hyposprays to come. Time passed by in a trickle. The Bolaric�s treatment itself was without side effects. All they could do now was wait to see if the markers could be isolated and shielded. As he sat there, memories of his own process of de-assimilation started to surface. � �Jean-Luc� It�s Beverly�� Amidst the hell he was going through, the voice of an angel broke through and reached the man behind Locutus. Despite how his Borg self was looking at her as just another sight to be analyzed, deep inside, seeing her beautiful face mere inches from his, her blue eyes soft and soothing, made him even more determined to regain his humanity. Her hand that rested lightly on the side of his face had been a life preserver in the middle of a dark and raging ocean. Never in his life had he ever been happier to see anyone. And at that moment, he�d felt an enormous surge in his will to live. If he couldn�t go on just for him, he would do so for her. His saving grace� � Dr. Martin�s voice broke through the memory-filled moment. �All targeted genetic markers have been successfully shielded.� Jean-Luc watched as another series of hypos were laid out on a tray by the biobed. �Alright, here we go", said Dr. Tropp as he brought another compound to the side of her neck. This time, the effect was immediately noticeable. Beverly tensed noticeably as her back arched slightly backward. Small twitches and tremors started to overcome her body. Ever so slowly, small traces of color started to surface through the grey shade of her skin. She gasped abruptly several times in rapid succession and eventually, the first traces of a wince appeared on her face. The process seemed agonizingly slow. Picard would have done anything to spare her of what she was enduring. With her skin now damp from the overwhelming transformation she was undergoing, Beverly looked sideways and locked her gaze with that of her best friend�s. Amid her pain, the doctor�s focus never relented from the captain�s. Her humanity finally started to get the upper hand and she reached out to him. When he grasped her hand in his, he felt her tighten her grip as though it was a desperate attempt to hold on. And so, just as she had held his hand six years prior, he was now holding hers in silent, loving support. Beverly gasped again. �Jean-Luc�� Her voice sounded more like it once had. He fought not to lose control over his emotions. And in her eyes� the first hints of blue started to show in the irises. She was coming back to him. It had only been a few short days, but to Jean-Luc, he felt as though he hadn�t seen his Beverly in years. Patiently, he waited. The process was not over yet. As more and more of her color started to return, Beverly convulsed. With strands of her now strawberry blond hair clinging to the sides of her face, the humanity which had been so brutally pushed back fought its way back with a vengeance. Even as he kept control over what he displayed openly, Picard fought the tightening in his throat and chest as the woman he loved slowly emerged from the cold depths of the machine. Finally, the tremors started to subside ever so slightly, until only a hint of them remained. With extreme exhaustion in her eyes, Beverly still refused to tear her gaze away from his. Her face, although strained, looked as angelic as ever. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips a soft pink. And her eyes� they were an even deeper shade of blue than he remembered. �Her human DNA has now completely taken over,� Dr. Martin�s voice informed them from his place in front of the bio-monitors. Dr. Tropp approached with yet another hypo and he then emptied the contents into her body. Beverly�s eyelids fell shut and she finally relaxed completely. Without tearing his eyes from her now sedated form, Jean-Luc barely heard Tropp�s next words. �We�re going to start surgery now. It will probably take at least seven hours to complete. I suggest you go and get some rest.� Finally, Picard let go of Beverly�s hand and got up. �Please notify me when the surgery will be complete.� �Of course, Captain.� Not without reluctance, Picard headed toward the doors that led out of the OR. Before he could step through them though, he quickly cast a glance over his shoulder at Beverly. We�re almost there� it�s almost over� * * * * After he was done with a brief stint attending to ship�s business, Picard retired to his quarters to rest while Beverly underwent her surgery. Dr. Tropp was going to inform him as soon as they were done so there was no point in staying in sickbay�s waiting room. Besides, he wanted to be there one hundred percent for her when she�d wake up. So a slight snooze at that moment could only be beneficial. But try as he might, he just tossed and turned. He was too anxious. He wasn�t sure how he would feel when he faced her again. She�d held no animosity toward him before her assimilation and he seriously doubted she would now, but still� His mind was going topsy-turvy in a melee of conflicting emotions and he wondered if the churning would ever end. He knew that Beverly would not approve of his guilt-entwined train of thought, but he could not help himself. A man could only tolerate so much, and the seemingly colossal crush of decades worth of tragedies was too heavy to carry on his mortal shoulders. And this last ordeal had been one, if not the, worst of them all. His self-deprecating thoughts then began to swirl with an immense sorrow in regards to what lay ahead for his best friend. No one could understand as well as he what she was about to go through. He�d been there and had never really fully come back from it. Jean-Luc fought the sting of tears by rubbing the palms of his hands against his closed eyelids. Fateful words resounded in his head, ��It�s alright� I love you, Jean-Luc�� As he waited for news, Picard decided to do the only thing he could think of, which was to gather strength from them as she�d meant it to. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours and without realizing, the captain had drifted into a dreamless sleep that offered a brief respite from his tortured soul. Only when Dr. Tropp�s voice emerged out of nowhere did he sit up, fully awake once more. �Sickbay to Captain Picard.� �Picard here.� �The surgery has been a success, Sir.� Jean-Luc let out an audible sigh of relief. �Thank you, Doctor.� �Dr. Crusher is still sedated at the moment, but if you want to see her, you may.� �I�m on my way. Picard out.� continue to chapter 9 library home |