| Released August 2nd, 2008 Abyss of Oblivion by Missbevcrusher Rated [R] Standard disclaimer: They're not mine, never have been. This is just harmless fanfic. Chapter 7 There was quite a bit of activity outside the ready-room viewport. Among the twenty ships assigned to the armada, five were repairing as much damage as they could before heading off to get the rest of it done at various repair and refit stations. Another three were assigned to investigate the Borg vessel along with the Enterprise, while the rest had been shipped out toward the front lines again. Picard had contacted Admiral Worthington a short while before and he now sat with his chair slightly turned toward the view outside. Now that everything was slowing back down, the events of the past two days started to eat away at him. There had been too many close calls, too many gut-wrenching decisions� too many traumatic sights. And the guilt� it was still there, stronger than ever. He knew full well what sort of recovery lay ahead for her. Hell, six years after his own assimilation, he was still nowhere near recovered. How does one move on after something like this? The only lucky break she�d gotten was that she didn�t have to unwillingly participate in a slaughter such as Wolf 359. But that was a small consolation. The violation� the torture of having no control over your actions� of seeing your own thoughts ripped away from you and replaced with the bare minimum of awareness. But even with only that bare minimum it was enough to scar one for a lifetime. Why did it have to happen? Why did it have to happen to her? �because I love her� As relieved as he was that the Queen was no more, a part of him regretted that he had not been the one to give the fatal blow. And as he continued in his thoughts, Picard hated everything that had to do with the Borg. He hated what they had brought him to. He�d never been a vengeful person before. He�d never intentionally imagined himself killing someone out of anything other than self defense. But at that moment, he would have gladly killed for his own vengeance. For because of the Queen, he�d had to make the decision to end Beverly�s life not once, but twice. And the fact that she was still alive did little to ease the crushing pain that those decisions had brought. How could he get over it? I never will. The chime sounded. Picard tried to erase all traces of this downward spiral of emotions, but it was too late. He knew who stood outside those doors. It took everything he had, but he finally turned his chair back and managed a low, �Come.� Troi walked in and approached the desk. She looked at him with sympathy. �I think you know why I�m here.� �I do.� She sat down in the chair opposite his. �What you went through in the past 48 hours would have been traumatic to anyone, even to someone who hasn�t gone through the process of being assimilated. Captain, you�re going to need a lot of time to sort through what you�re feeling and although it�s going to be difficult, the last thing you should do is bottle everything up.� �I appreciate your concern, Counselor, but your focus should not be on me.� �Oh?� �Beverly, she�s� going to need you after this. Just like I did six years ago.� �I can tend to the both of you, sir. Your wounds are still very deep. Don�t shove them aside.� Picard looked down and blinked a few times. �I will do my best, Counselor.� * * * * Down in the lower decks, in one of the labs, Data, LaForge and Dr. Tropp were all gathered around the diagnostic display. They were in deep discussion about how to proceed next. On a small platform was a Borg regeneration unit. Standing against it was the dormant Beverly. They�d removed the most cumbersome of her cybernetic parts already�her heavy arm covering, the majority of her head piece, as well as some parts of her exoskeleton body suit. But the tricky part was yet to come. The removal of the implants that were now fused with her body as well as the microscopic artificial Borg cells that were still dominant would be more than difficult. �For some reason, the processes used on the captain do not seem to be working on her.� Dr. Tropp rubbed his chin as he looked at the readings with a puzzled expression. �I�ll have to look into it, for without countering the Borg cells, it will be impossible to separate her from the cybernetic components.� �While you do that, Data and I will keep working to shut off the transmitter to her cerebral cortex. Although the threat seems to be gone, I don�t want to take the chance of her getting reconnected mentally with them if any are still active out there,� said Geordi. �Good idea. Now I�ll go and look up some of Dr. Crusher�s old files. She did a lot of research on Borg assimilation in years past. Perhaps we�ll be able to catch a break with those.� Once Dr. Tropp had left, Data and LaForge immediately got to work. It took a lot of fine-tuning and precision, but after a little over an hour, they finally succeeded. Then as the two officers carefully labeled each of the parts they�d removed a few hours before, they started to pack them neatly in containers that would be sent to Starfleet for further analysis. When they were done, Data approached the motionless doctor. �It is� sad seeing her like this.� �It is.� �Do you think that she is aware of what is going on right now?� �It�s kind of difficult to say. I wish I knew.� Geordi, too, approached the platform. �I�m just glad we got her back.� Turning his attention back to the crates that rested atop an anti-grav carrying cart, Data said, �I will go bring these down to cargo bay four so they can be shipped out.� �Good idea. I�ll finish wrapping things up here. Dr. Crusher will require regeneration for at least another six hours, and until Dr. Tropp can figure out a way to get her human cells to take over, there�s not much we can do here. I, for one, could use some sleep.� �Very well. Since I do not require rest, I will go to my quarters and review the available information on Borg assimilation in the Starfleet Defense database for possible clues.� The android pushed the hovercart out the doors. LaForge checked Beverly�s readings once again and made sure the regeneration unit was still functioning properly. Satisfied everything was well, the chief engineer started toward the door and ran into the captain. Although he had requested hourly updates, this was the first time since they�d brought Beverly to the lab that Picard had come down to see her in person. �We�ve done pretty much everything we can for tonight.� Geordi looked back toward Beverly. �Dr. Tropp is looking through Dr. Crusher�s research on assimilation for anything that might help right now. In the meantime, she�s regenerating. She�s got at least another six hours to go before we take her off the unit.� �Thank you, Commander.� �Good night, sir.� LaForge then left the captain to himself. When the doors closed, leaving him alone with the doctor, Jean-Luc remained fixed in place while he looked at her with remorse. Finally, he moved slowly forward, his eyes taking in the sight of her. She looked considerably different than when he�d seen her last. Most of her Borg attire was now gone, leaving only the basics. Her feet and legs were bare to mid-thigh. From there on up, the last vestige of her exo-suit covered almost everything up to her chest, except for an area on the side of her waist where grayish skin showed. Both of her arms were uncovered, while only one of her shoulders was. Her face, which was still as beautiful, showed no sign of the life that had once shined so vibrantly. Around the corner of her eye was still a half-moon shaped implant that had served as a connector to her ocular implant. And finally, her hair, which had been previously hidden below the head covering, fell in lifeless color framing her face. Seeing her like this, it was hard to believe that she was alive. What have they done to you? Now that he could closely take in all of the changes she�d endured, his heart broke once more. If it hadn�t been for the lovely features he�d long ago chiseled to memory, he wouldn�t have believed that this was truly Beverly Crusher. As much as he wondered how he was going to be able to face her, Picard knew that he would fight to put his own self-loathing aside and be there every step of the way. I will not abandon you. For a long time, the captain just stood there and watched over her as she continued to drift in artificial slumber. * * * * Dr. Martin arrived very early for his shift in sickbay. When he got there, he could see through the glass walls of Dr. Crusher�s office that Dr. Tropp was still hard at work. He approached the doorway and knocked gently. �Have you been here all night?� Tropp startled slightly. �Oh� It would seem so. I guess I lost track of time.� �Found anything useful?� �Perhaps. Dr. Crusher�s research was quite extensive. I had no idea she�d delved into Borg genetics and cybernetics as much as she did.� Dr. Martin walked around the desk and looked over the data that streamed down on the small console. �That�s impressive.� �Now, according to this research, about ten percent of previously human Borg victims cannot revert to their original genetic structures by using the standard technique utilized on the captain six years ago. Dr. Crusher was able to determine that a specific genetic marker in their human DNA was to blame.� �If that�s the case, can�t we just isolate that marker and modify it?� �No, it�s not that simple. Given the markers in question, by the slightest alteration it would destabilize her whole genetic sequence and the result of which would be a slow cellular degeneration.� �That�s not very good news.� �Well, we�re not going to give up just yet. The last bit of research Dr. Crusher was conducting was focused on using the latest in Bolaric�s therapies to shield those specific markers that prevent treatment. There results weren�t definite yet, but with further testing and analysis we might just be able to get the results we�re looking for.� Dr. Tropp got up and handed his colleague a small stack of padds. �If you would, take these notes over to the research lab and start going over the data. In the meantime, I�ll go check on our patient.� �Very well, Doctor.� * * * * When Dr. Tropp finally got down to the lab, he found that LaForge, Data, and Troi were already there. It was just about time to disconnect Beverly from her regeneration unit and all wanted to be present to lend their own expertise. The counselor gently probed with her empathic senses, wanting to connect with the woman who had been her very close friend for many years. But although Beverly wasn�t connected to the hive anymore, the fact that she was still Borg, combined with her dormant state, made her very difficult to read. It wasn�t that her mind was blank, far from it. Underneath it all, the essence of Beverly�s emotional presence was still there. It was just more difficult to get to. Perhaps once she would wake from regeneration, more of her personality would pierce through. Geordi walked over to the side of the unit and looked at the others. It was time. But before he could shut it off, the sound of the lab�s doors were heard and he looked up to see who it was. Captain Picard walked in the room but said nothing. It was obvious they were about to take her out of her sleeping state and he didn�t want to interrupt their task. So he nodded once, a solemn look plastered across his features. The chief engineer then reached down and deactivated the unit. As soon as it was done, Beverly�s eyes opened. Her expression, however, did not change. �Life signs are stable.� Dr. Tropp raised his eyebrows in amazement. �Very, very stable, in fact there have been no fluctuations in heart or breathing rhythm since she�s been in our care.� �I can sense her.� Deanna focused as much as she could on the impressions she was getting. �She�s� confused�� The empath looked directly into her friend�s eyes. �Beverly? You�re alright� you�re on the Enterprise.� The only physical reaction they saw were Beverly�s eyes darting from one person to the next as though she was analyzing her surroundings. But inside it was a different story. What? Where am I? Despite her Borg brain functions, the woman behind the cybernetics felt as though her emotions had more of a free reign than when she�d been linked to the hive. As much as an improvement being disconnected from the never-ceasing Borg voices was, her mind still did not work like a human�s. Still functioning as one with the technology that snaked its way throughout her being, Beverly�s view of the world was very much analytical. �Deanna, Troi, counselor.� The technology in her vocal cords gave her an artificial sounding voice. �Data, Lieutenant Commander, Android�� Her eyes went from one person to the next and she named them in kind. When she focused on the captain, her delivery did not change. �Jean-Luc, Picard, Captain�� But in her mind, she felt the emotions of realizing he was safe and sound. Troi smiled amid her concern. �She is relieved. She recognizes us as her friends.� After her gaze had fallen on the captain�s, Beverly did not relent. Although her stare was blank, it seemed to convey more than what seemed possible. In turn, Picard didn�t quite know what to do. Guilt blinded him as he gazed in the colorless eyes of the woman he loved. Deanna could feel the turmoil within him as well as Beverly�s need to have him acknowledge her. Without giving too much away to the other officers present, she said, �It�s alright, Captain. She might not respond physically, but she�s with us. You can speak to her.� At first, Picard was at a loss for words. But quickly, he tried to recover. �You�re safe now� And we�re going to help you, Beverly.� Saying her name out loud as he spoke to her felt surreal. A part of him had conceded on more than one occasion during the past few days that he would never get the chance to address her again. �She knows and she�s grateful.� Deanna smiled with tears pooling in her eyes. �We are home.� Tucked away in Beverly�s mind, a smaller voice reached out as much possible but could not totally break the surface. Jean-Luc� And despite the slate exterior she projected, deep inside her was once again there was hope. * * * * When he wasn�t supervising the Enterprise�s operation to learn more about the Borg ship, Jean-Luc would spend the majority of his time down in the lab where they were still working on finding a solution to restore Dr. Crusher to her old self. As more time passed, the easier it was to communicate with the doctor. But she still had a long way to go. �Everything is quiet now,� Beverly said to Jean-Luc and Deanna, who sat by her side. �We are not many, we are one.� �That�s right,� Deanna replied. �You�re no longer part of the collective.� �Resistance� was not futile.� These words were proof that the woman behind the Borg was pushing forth. Troi gave a small smile. �Resistance was not futile, no.� �But we are still Borg.� The way she�d used the word �we� to refer to herself wasn�t something Jean-Luc could get used to. Deanna continued, �Yes, you are still Borg. But we�re working very hard to change that.� �We will be human again?� Just hearing her say those words caused the captain�s chest to tighten. As simple as that statement was, it revealed an innocence of thought filled with hope. The notion of seeing her once again as she used to be filled him with warmth. He just hoped to god it wouldn�t take too long. �We�re doing everything that we can to make it happen,� he said. When Dr. Tropp approached with a series of hyposprays, Troi and Picard stepped aside to give him some room. He was going to start prepping her for the experimental Bolaric�s therapies which were to commence the next day. �Well, we�ll come back in a little while to see you, alright Beverly?� Deanna smiled at her friend. Of course, there wasn�t much of a reaction from Crusher, but Troi could nonetheless feel they were making a lot of progress. Picard�s goodbye wasn�t as forthcoming as the counselor�s. Instead, he smiled in a way that didn�t totally reach his eyes and muttered a low, �I�ll see you later.� And then they left. As the two made their way up the corridor, Troi asked, �I�m going to meet Will in the officer�s mess for dinner. You�re welcome to join us.� �Thank you for the invite, Counselor, but I think I will go work on some of those reports that are sitting there waiting for me.� �Of course.� Deanna wasn�t surprised by his decline to join them. After all, the captain was a very private man. However, she knew that he would oftentimes dine with Beverly and she knew how much he missed spending time with her. Once they were both inside the turbolift, each stated their destinations. The lift started ascending with its customary hum. Since they were alone, Troi thought that this was as good as any time to broach the subject she�d wanted to discuss. �I couldn�t help but sense how conflicted you felt just now.� Jean-Luc was all too aware of what she was referring to, but said nothing for the time being. �Whenever you�re around her, your emotions vary so widely, but the one in prominence is what concerns me. The guilt.� The captain sighed. �Computer hold.� For a few moments, he struggled with what to say next. �Deanna, this entire ordeal� what Beverly is going through� it�s my fault. And every time I look at her, I�m reminded of that fact.� �You cannot put the blame on your shoulders, Captain.� �Between you and me, we both know why the Queen chose to assimilate her out of all people. She made it a point� abducted her straight from sickbay�� �So you believe the love you feel for her is at the root of this whole tragedy.� �The Queen wanted revenge and she found the way to exact it.� �And that�s the Queen�s fault, not yours.� Deanna looked directly at him. �Do not reproach how you feel toward her. The love you harbor toward Beverly is something you should cherish. Nothing helps the healing process as much as the love from the people you�re closest to. And that will work both ways, for Beverly and you.� Picard pondered the counselor�s words for a few moments. Finally, he said, �Thank you, Deanna. I will do my best.� With tears close to spilling, Troi smiled. He might be starting to understand. continue to chapter 8 library home |