 Feeling: Good!
Listening To: Odin - 'The Writer' in my head.
Reading: A Door Away From Heaven - Dean Koontz (it's getting really good)
Eating: I just had 3 eggs and so much bread that I feel like a ... loaf of bread. Randumb Excess: Me want to play guitar good. Quote of the Day: "Man, I remember you when you were just this high!" - Everyone at the show tonight. Friends of my brothers - I like them. |
February 8, 2k3...
Sometimes, I really wonder how some days are just better than others. Magically, the day after a horrible day, you have a nice peaceful one. How does this happen? Who pushes the 'good day/bad day' button? And when thet DO push those buttons do they have a difficult time choosing one - do the buttons under my name get stuck? Because more often than not, I am finding myself shifting from one extreme or the other throughout the day - or sometimes sail somewhere inbetween. I would really like to have a word with this button pusher. And for the record, I won't buy that crap about it being me making the decision of what kind of day I am going to have because it's not true. Believe me, as an optimist, I pay close attention to those things.
Other times, I wonder how someone can think they're making the right decison, be it short term or long term, when they are not. One way or another, everything points in the other direction and yet the person in their situation evaluates it like things are as they should be (even though one of my life philosophies is based on that theory... it does not apply to this inquisition) and it is most certainly not as it should be. It isn't, because people are hurting, because people need eachother to survive, because they have someone who loves them even when they're being a complete and total jerk-weirdo-thing. I may never understand it and if at some point I ever do understand it, I'd love there to be a warp tunnel so that 2003-me can meet understanding-this-concept-me and actually put some sense into it for myself, from myself. I'd ask her about quite a few other things while I was at it, I'm sure. But first and foremost, this. It is irritating. I'd really like to turn up their 'judgement' knob. Because in the little level meter we have in God's Heaven, this type of behavior is judged by 1-10. Not 'off' or 'on' like a "good day/bad day" button, you know.
And with these wonderings, I have had such a nice night. I socialized on a grandois scale, enjoyed some good solid heavy metal live and spend an evening with people who have loved me since I was just a tiny little baby... a bunch of brothers and sisters, I guess you could say, from different parents completley. Life was really great to me today, I remained calm, no stress, I felt good about myself and I felt the love. I really did.
Someone pushed the 'good day' button for me, today.
I wonder, also, if this someone takes bribes....