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Carpet, carpet, carpet. We ripped up carpet. Me and Bunky and Nen took out all the staples in one room and half of the other room. In a lace skirt no less. Ryan got to make holes in the wall. Not big holes. There�s one corner that has black mold in it. The more we poked at it, the more he discovered that much of it could be taken out. He kept saying that he didn�t want to get into it now...then I came back into the room and looked over and there was a big rectangle hole over the corner. �Oh hello mister tub� as he looked into the hole with a flashlight. We worked on it all for a few hours together and had a fab dinner of the fondue leftover pieces and fondue broth all in a slow cooker. The steak was sooo tender fabulous. Then Marcus and Holly came over and we played the round of all rounds of Ticket to Ride. We are all so intentional in our game playing and so totally in to it that what should have taken, according to the box, about a half an hour it took us like 2 and a half hours to play. We really were very intent. Anytime someone went to lay down track Holly would get all nervous, �Ooooh, now what are you doing? Where are you putting that?� There weren�t too many run in�s with each other�s tracks. Just a few. I was all in to holding on to cards until I had a tonne of huge track to lay. It was about all I could do with the routes that I had to complete, but I had everyone curious as to what the heck I was doing. �Oh just holding on to all the cards.� Good, good night with good, good friends. I love Holly. She�s so totally fabulous for my Marcus. I just cannot say how much of a fan of hers I am. How do these boys find these amazing women? Nen astonishes me on a regular basis of just how fabulous she is. Every moment I get to spend with Holly I just adore her more and more and see how good she is for Marcus. I�m sure they know just what a privilege it is to be adored by the men who married them. Those two boys do completely adore their wives.
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Things went very fast. Mum, Wade and I were running errands in town and we missed a couple calls from Karen. When we got a hold of her we found out that I needed to be on a plane at 1:20 tomorrow afternoon. I�m quickly doing the math in my head as I�m thinking, �7 am ferry, 9 am in Vancouver, at least a 3 hour drive to SeaTac from the ferry terminal, yeah, we�re not going to make it� as it�s dawning on me that I needed to be off the island tonight. So we ran downtown to get my jacket and clothes that were in being altered and then drove home as fast as we could in the downpour of rain that has been going on all day. I had an hour and a quarter to pack my life in two small bags, thankfully I had made organized piles last night so it wasn�t all a brand new problem to solve, eat some dinner that Dad made (it had bacon in it...mmm, bacon), get the rest of the stuff of Mum�s off this comp and fly out the door as fast as we could. Caught the ferry in plenty of time and plenty of room and we�re off to stay with Kevin for the night in Bellingham. up |
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Such a crazy day. I�m sure I will add to this all later when I�m on the ground and in my new surroundings. I�m currently on the plane somewhere just East of Chicago. We had a great view of Chicago about 15 minutes ago, flew right over top of it. We had to really boot it today, but it all came together so nicely. At first the first code didn�t work and I thought we were toast but I was able to get a hold of Karen (who we thought was up in the air) and she gave me another one so it all worked to get a round trip ticket. I wasn�t worried about it, but I felt compelled to action. It was a good feeling. After praying with Mum beside security, I left and got marked for further search. Normally this would have freaked me out, but it didn�t cause I knew that I had absolutely nothing to hide so it was just a matter of going through the motions. I wasn�t even worried about flying stand-by. Good thing because it would have been pointless to be, I have the whole row of seats to myself and I even got to lie right down and sleep for awhile. Not that I should have slept because I should have stayed as sleep deprived as possible so that I would be tired tonight. Tired enough to go to bed at about 8 or 9 o�clock my time. I don�t really know how I�m feeling. I think because I have no idea what to expect that nothing has really settled into my brain yet. It�s not like the apathy that I felt towards being in Japan. It�s more of a calm. I know the Lord has me. I know that He will make it apparent as to what I�m doing. I know He will draw me closer to himself, as that is really what I want. It�s what I want more than knowing what I�m supposed to be doing. As I was leaving Mum she said, �You�re amazing. I don�t know if you know how much but you really are. You�ve broken through so much and you don�t know how much.� And then something ot the effect of �Things were lifted while you were here, I don�t know if it was through specific prayers or what but it�s lifted�. So good. At first I was thinking on the airport tram about being uncomfortable with it because I would hope that all around me wouldn�t put any glory on me, anything being lifted has nothing to do with me, but then I thought if the Lord can exude from me so that whoever I am near would have their world lifted and their spirit encouraged then I�m all for that. It�s still not me, per se, but it is the Lord working through me. Why wouldn�t I want my presence to be a light to others? That my presence in this world, being rooted in the Lord, would be the comfort and the light and the breaking of oppressive spirits to those around me. It�s the Lord in me. It�s not me doing it, but hallelujah that others would be encouraged by Him through me. How much of it, I would like, would be totally unknown to me. Me smiling to the flight attendant would be at very least not another grumpy, needy face. And maybe I have no idea what kind of impact that has on her. Great! Then I can�t claim any part of it as mine because I don�t know about it. I can�t tell if this makes any sense coming out of my brain because I�m not sure if I know what it looks like inside my brain. So I�m in my new space now. The girls all came to pick me up from the airport together. They had a big sign saying Welcome to Potomac Point Michelle complete with palm trees and everything. They were all really sweet and inquisitive, very nice. I haven�t got my bearings yet, but I don�t feel unbalanced or uneasy. I�m already all unpacked and set up in my space. I just need one little container for receipts and some shampoo and I should be complete. We dropped off my bags first and then went across the road to the Cedars to meet the two hosts who are there now. Very nice people from Illinois, Cindy and Bill. They�re evidently the best and I�m being spoiled with the best to begin with. We sat and chatted for a bit and decided to all go to church tomorrow morning together and then for brunch. So my house. There�s 5 girls living here right now, but one is still away for the Christmas break. In my room there�s Marissa who is away, and Kelly who is from El Paso, Texas. She�s a really nice girl. Very small and cute and laughs just like Amanda, they�re like twins who don�t have the same face. She�s been here since September. The other three are in a room together. There�s Betsy from New Orleans who is very friendly and has been the one who is most interactive on a one-to-one basis. She�s the next newest, having arrived the end of October. Kristen is from Portland and is a party in a box. She�s very lively and vivacious. She tells great stories and is really funny. She�s been here since May. I don�t know where Tasha is from. She�s been here since September. That�s the house for now. I�m excited to live in close community with these girls and I�m sure it�s going to be a really wild experience. up |
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We went to church this morning all together and with Cinni and Bill who are the host couple at the Cedars right now. Church was good, but odd. It�s in a movie theatre. There wasn�t anything necessarily bad about the service, but it�s all just a bit too catchy for me. Like the offering was taken in popcorn buckets. Why is this necessary?? It was like you didn�t really want to connect with any of it because there was too much in the way of �trying too hard� as a part of it. Like a �Let�s bring people in by doing something unexpected and catchy� that many of us avoid at all cost. And that�s too bad because the music (although too loud, yes, you heard it right, Michelle thought the music was too loud...because they were trying to be all cool, rock and roll, as opposed to just being cool, rock and roll � there is a difference) was really good, great lyrics, and the message was good. He spoke about two main points that I picked up which I thought was odd because it was like he preached two messages at the same time, it didn�t feel jarring at the time, but when I reflect on it now I realize that there was two messages in there. One was on fasting. I loved the one line about fasting that his wife says, �Fasting isn�t about taking things away, it�s about making room to keep your focus on the Lord�. It doesn�t have to be food, but it�s a taking away to make room to add in. There�s replacement. Take out TV to have more time to pray or meditate or read. Take out a certain luxury to free up money to give to the Lord as an act of sacrificial worship. The other point was about giving your all for the Lord and I�m fuzzy on this point at this time. I still remember thinking it was good at the time, but isn�t that the way it goes. How good is it if all you can remember is thinking it was good, but that most of it has no lasting impression on you at a later time. After church we went back to the house and some of the girls slept. I tried not to so that I would sleep tonight. I closed my eyes for a few minutes while some of the girls were in the room so that I was kept awake, which was a good thing. I talked to Tasha some in the afternoon. She�s a decent kid. We went over the Cedars to hang out with the Greens and have some pizza. I made myself some rice with saut�ed tomato and red peppers before we left. We played a couple of games and met some new people. One of the folks who lives on the street and came by is Munna. I don�t know how to spell her name. During our card game of Screwy Louie (great game by the way, like a reverse Hearts where you bid how many tricks you�re going to take, some call it Dirty Dog) she started to share where she was from. Amazing story. She was born in Palestine, moved to Lebanon as a refuge with her family at like 9 months old and grew up there. She moved to the States with her now ex-husband in 72. She spoke of people, in America especially, de-humanizing people from unpopular places in the world. People came against her both verbally and physically. There was a woman in her neighbourhood who approached her when she first moved in. She thought the neighbour was coming to say hello and instead was greeted with, �How dare you move into this neighbourhood�. The neighbourhood was 90% Israeli or Israeli supporters. There were nasty messages on the realtor�s answering machine saying how dare she sell the house to an Arabic family. She went around the street and knocked on doors finally to invite people over for coffee to come and hear her family�s story. By the time they left the neighbourhood, she had befriended them all. When we commented on how brave she was, her take was that if Christ came to reconcile us to God, and we are to be Christ like, then our main job here on earth is to be reconcilers as well and that to step out to speak to people was the only reaction she could have. If she were to hate them or be afraid of them, or even think that their reactions were about her and not about the fear they carry deep inside, then she would not be Christ-like. There would be no reconciliation. So amazing to hear her share and I want to hear more. As she was speaking, I was struck with the opportunity that I have here to meet people like this on a daily basis. How amazing. I�m not worthy of the honour that the Lord has bestowed on me. up |
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This morning we had a Monday Morning Meeting in the Garden Room of the Cedars with the guys from Ivanwald. Joe is in charge of the whole place, he and his wife Hilary. They do all the scheduling and such as well as another girl, Jen. After that, us girls met and Liz made Tasha point for the day. I worked with her on glass tops, dusting, polishing the granite tile floor with glass cleaner, setting the table (giant table with 22 settings) for tomorrow morning�s breakfast meeting. We all had lunch together at the house and talked about stuff. Then we hit the Carriage House that has offices and such in it to clean it. The rest of the afternoon was Kelly, Tasha and I lemon oiling all the wood in the Garden Room, including all the wood of the dining chairs with all sorts of carving in them. Took quite some time. The three of us then went back to Potomac Point to get a shopping list together. We hit Safeway for the week�s groceries and then went home for dinner together with Liz and her husband Justin who is a teacher around here somewhere. Tonight everyone is just chilling out doing their own thing and I think I�m going to hit the sack pretty quick. There�s a lot going on in my head, like as to why I�m here and how things are going to work out, but then I need to just chill and give it all over to the Lord and know that He has this all in His hands and He�ll work things out if I let Him. Giving control. Giving up timing.
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Wow, what a day. Have I really only been here for three days? Why does it feel like I�ve been here for a month already? If it weren�t for the fact that I�m still unclear as to where the toilet paper is kept, I don�t think I would believe myself when I say it�s only been three days. We worked in the morning after a long morning meeting. I�m discovering that �work� doesn�t start when �work� starts. It�s much like Malibu where work is supposed to start right after breakfast, but �work� consists of morning meetings and devo times. Despite the �short� days, I use the term lightly, they are amazingly long days with life revolving around community here. I�m certainly not opposed. We had a meeting tonight with Becky, a House Meeting, and I am definitely coming in the middle of a time with some issues. I would suspect though that these are issues that are constantly being addresses as there is a new girl coming in every few months who needs to go through the same learning time of the same issues. The meeting was a little intense, and as much as I was a little disturbed to begin with, I really did in the end fully get where Becky was coming from and agreed on her points. The main points were, the glossed over version of the not so new ideas, to be where you are and to give up control of your life completely. Becky made a great illustration of making a movie in iMovie where you put all these still shots together and they�re all blocky and jarring as you play them until the programme puts in the lovely little transitions. We can't make our present realities the transitions, it always needs to be a major picture. It made me think of how I would love for the Assignment Teams and the Property Teams at Malibu to really treat their times up there. To be truly present in the moments and the opportunities that they have in the current time. Forget the email, forget the nightly phone calls, everyone will be drawn closer as you experience time apart to re-establish your connections and yourself in the Lord. All made a lot of sense in the end.
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Bill and Cinni, the hosts at the Cedars, are leaving early tomorrow morning. They bought us pizza and had invited a who slew of people, like Brooke who I knew from Summer Staff in 99 at Malibu. Crazy story of seeing this girl walk in to the kitchen at the Cedars on Tuesday and I�m like, �I know you. You�re Brooke. I was on Summer Staff with you.� It was another moment of realization of a person�s identity as I�m talking to them, like that girl this fall at Malibu who had been on Work Crew in the Inn back in like 01 or 02. Anyway, there was a tonne at the house. I finally got to talk to Yusuke. He�s all over the place for Doug Coe. Seems like a really rad kid and I�d love to get to know him better. We talked for a while about Japan and Canada and a bit about his traveling lately. He�s still on Japan time as he just got here like 3 days ago. He was just one of the many. They all had pizza and then we gathered in the Living Room to chat and say goodbye to the Greens and play some games. It was good fun. It got more intense the more people left to hit the hay. What was left were the Potomac team and the Greens for a crazy game of Pictionary that was a little intense. Too funny how rule oriented people get, even if they�re winning. There�s to be no cheating, even if it�s obvious and really funny, and points are to be totally fair, and everything must be weighted on the most vocal person�s side. I found a growth in myself as we�re playing that I was really wanting to just display �fairness� and encouragement to everyone and not be vocal about what would benefit my side, even if it was the fair thing. I was able to not be attached at all to the �sides� or to winning. Very good for a competitive person like me. I like to win, but not at the expense of the spirit in the room or the relationships that are just forming. I really liked encouraging people as we went along. I definitely noticed a difference in the spirit mellow out the more I did it. It didn�t get completely mellowed out, but there was a slight shift. I�m feeling pretty good. Really noticing my age and my need for down time. This schedule of constant interaction is a killer for an introvertly prone person like me. Not like I�m not extroverted as well, but I need the down time to be able to engage and I�m not always getting it. I know that the Lord will work through that and that if I�m able to give it to Him that He�ll make it okay without me really noticing it. I don�t always need to know what my effect is on people, I can do what I can in the strength I have, but that only goes so far and everything else will really need to be let go. I strongly believe that the short accounts with the Lord and continual repentance will be the key to having things be right. up |
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Today has been a really great day. The morning wasn�t. We did a whole lot of lemon oiling this afternoon. I was definitely tired by the time we got home. Then I headed to the prayer room to do my hour of prayer for the day. At the house meeting on Tuesday, Becky told a joke about a convent to illustrate a point and it got me thinking about this place and it really does ring true that it is sort of like a convent here, but an affluent convent, with required hours of prayer and all. I got to talk to Mum and Dad after that and that felt really good to do. I was really feeling like I needed to let them know what it�s like here so that they have the scoop and can even break some of the misconceptions around about this place. It�s hard to know how to describe it to other people, as supportive as they may be, when I didn�t have a concept and then they interpret what they like into it to make it into something that it isn�t but something that they can conceptualize. One of the girls' mum is here for a few days so she came over to the house and made us dinner. We all thought it was a bit backwards and that as a guest we should be making her dinner, but none of us were going to deny her or not accept! That felt good and throughout the night telling stories around the table and doing the clean up for them, it made me feel much better and like a part of this house. I was feeling really disjointed before, like an observer, like Dian Fossey with the gorillas, but now I�m really starting to feel like a part of this place. I guess it helps that I consciously don�t take the �I�m an outsider� view right away, because otherwise I really could talk myself into not belonging despite everyone else�s attempts around me to the contrary. up |
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I totally slept in today, much later than I was anticipating, but it ended up being a good thing because our plans to go into Georgetown ended up being delayed a bit. Once we got the drama sorted out, Betsy, Kelly and I headed into Georgetown. We got dropped off right on campus and started walking around. Our first discovering was this band in the basement of a building that had the door open and they were rocking �Freedom� something serious. The vocalist was owning it completely. Then we got into the Healy building that was built in like 1879 or something like that. It was pretty stupendous. We walked some of the halls and tried to get into the Riggs library but were unable to do so because it was all closed and locked up, but we did get to see through the glass doors. It was amazing. It�s four levels as far as we could see and the three top ones all are mezzanine type levels that open up to the room with brass railings and spiral staircases between them, like something straight out of Harry Potter or something of the sort. After that we walked through the streets surrounding the campus. The streets are small and lined with row houses that are all painted different and yet are all attached. Most of them are brick, but there were quite a few in the first block off campus that were really old and wood, looked like some old Western buildings that belong somewhere like Kansas City in the late 1800�s more than right next to all the brick here. We found a small running store where I got to buy some fab new sneakers for jogging. Very nice sales guy, very informative. We walked down to the main drag and shopped a bit. The stores are all in these old brick buildings that look like they should have all been residences at one point. Very cool town, lots of different languages being spoken all around us. It had a feeling like La Vielle Ville in Quebec City, but more colourful and more brick rather than cobblestone. After grabbing some food and a giant thing of ice cream where we sat and chatted and they asked me about my most serious previous relationship, we headed off to the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts where one of the girls worked last summer. In order to bring the performing arts to the masses who may or may not be able to have ready access to the arts they have free shows on every night at 6 pm. I was astounded that they would have it. They have these two stages set up at either end of the Great Hall where they�ll have a show on one of them. Tonight it was on the Millennium Stage, this 15 year old who has a jazz band. He writes and was playing the drums, but also studies the piano. There was one other 15 year old, two 18 year old and one other guy on upright who was a graduate study at some fancy school. Incredible. We got seats for a bit but I don�t think the girls were appreciating what they were seeing and hearing. The last piece that we stayed for, the guitarist (18, I believe) had a solo that was rocking my brain. I just got taken in by the noise and the sound and the clashings and resolutions with the rest of the band. I let go of my own brain and trying to make it fit into what my ears were expecting to hear and just let it come in as it was. Kind of a surreal experience. As we walked away from the building I realized that we were right next to the Watergate. We headed home and found the guys so they came over for dinner and Betsy and I had a collaborative effort on making this fabulous grapefruit chicken stir-fry that I found to die for. Then we all went to Cosi�s for coffees and desert and to play Uno. We had a really great time. up |
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Pretty chill day. We all got up late and went shopping at an outlet mall and found some good deals. I found this totally rad pair of green heels at the Clark�s store for $20 but I couldn�t justify it and I prayed about it and felt like I shouldn�t get them, so I didn�t. Tasha and I went to church this evening. It was a big production, mega-church but I found that as I gave over my feelings about what I saw and heard and focused on the content of what was in front of me then I really began to have a good time and the musical worship was exactly what I needed...to be able to sing out with my voice to the Lord of His greatness and of His amazing forgiveness. How phenomenal that I get to keep coming to Him on a regular basis, minute by minute if the need be, to present my confession and to bask in the knowledge that I can never come to the end of my opportunities for forgiveness. Tasha and I had a good talk about stuff, like giving over your perceptions of church at a mega-church just like you would give over your perceptions at some tiny country church with an un-tuned organ and an old lady singing hymns off key. That for me was the essence of the night and what I thought of that particular church.
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