Added later in the evening.
I have just tonite realized why this breakup was so easy for him And so very hard for me.
He was not in love with me anymore. He had moved on to another. And somehow he decided that since his life was all in order, mine was too.
He did not nor still does not realize how very much i loved him. How deeply and truely, totally and purely I loved him. And that i will always, no matter what happens, ever be able to get rid of that love. I never loved anyone as i loved him.
So in the end, he really does not have any idea of the pain in my very soul. How much his words ripped apart my very being and still a year later, his words and actions have that power. If only there was no replay in the mind.
The utter sadness and loss eats at my very being.
I can play at how adjusted i am and my mind can convince me that i have adjusted, but my soul has a wound that will never heal.
Still skating on the thin ice of life
