| Our overlongated story begins with our familiar heroes lurking in their undersized domicile. The mail had just arrived and Homeless Man rattled off each parcel. "An S-Mart flier," he said as he tossed each letter into the evergrowing trash barrel known as Club Bearer's cage. "Unrequested CD from Columbia House CD club... (toss) Errie letter from Silent Hill... (toss) and an invitation." The last number caught the group's attention. Fast Guy tore the letter open at an amazing speed, giving him a damn deep paper cut. "GOD that burns..." Fast Guy grumbled as Space Toaster caught the falling paper. An awkward look took over Space Toaster's face as he read the invite aloud. He took on a cock-eyed expression: Dear Defenders Of Earth, (The group chuckled at this first line) Our galaxy, Alpha Denturi, is in great peril. We are currently in dire need of lone warriors to protect us and save our ill-gotten properties. If you feel you can help us, we will pay any price for our freedom. Anything you request is granted. "Blah-blah-blah," Space Toaster said. Your friends, The Fruit Loopians "Where exactly are we invited to?" Mono inquired. "Um, the 'blah-blah-blah' was actually written, see?" Space Toaster said, as he then pointed to the letter. Sure enough the letter said "Blah-blah-blah." "Well then," Foom Man said. "We can get anything?" Sam nodded. "Oh... I want a Lean Mean Fat Grillin' Machine-" "ITS A GEORGE FOREMAN DUMBASS," Mono yelled. "I want a George Foreman!" Club Bearer said. "Quiet you weed!" Fast Guy barked. Club Bearer then jumped to the back of his cage into the pile of waste he called a bed. "I say Mono sleeps on it," Nomadic Pyro said. "You're still here?" Foom Man questioned as he turned his body to him. Nomadic Pyro shrugged. "Well, I agree with him," Homeless Man commented, "Mono should sleep on it." "Done." Mono said as he gave away his posture and began to sleep. The group staired at him for a moment of awkward silence. "Man..." Foom Man said, "This is tense." When Mono awoke for questioning, he said "Mehh" which could only mean one thing: The UAs were going into space. The group soon assembled their basic needs, such as snacka-ges, Skittles, and a large supply of Best Buy fliers. They boarded Space Toaster's jet and took off. "You know I really should be the one flying this thing," Space Toaster said to Homeless Man. "You always get to fly, and I haven't done anything in a while," Homeless Man replied in his crisp and burly voice. Wait... did I just say crisp and burly? Forget that, it means nothing. What are you implying jackass viewers? "Well it is his jet," Nomatic Pyro added. "I was a jet once," Club Bearer spoke from his cage. The jet immediately stopped, and the group all turned around to Club Bearer. There was a moment of vast silence (vast=big). Club Bearer shook his head and went to sleep. "Now then, where are we going?" Fast Guy asked as he poked Club Bearer with a stick. "Into SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" Foom Man belloed. "Space is a pretty vague term, where in space?" Homeless Man asked. The group went silent again and looked around aimlessly as they thought. "Oh, I know," Space Toaster said. "That huge space ship they were talking about on the news tonight, the one over Djibouti." The group all made thoughtful noises, and Homeless Man jetisoned the group towards Djibouti, Africa. The group arrived to Djibouti with no sight of the ship. It made sense, Djibouti was an entire country. They continued to fly through Djibouti untilthey slammed to an instant stop when the hit some sort of invisible wall. When they regained their senses from the blow, Space Toaster turned on the ship's infared scope vision to the hud. Sure enough, their was a space ship hovering before them. "Well, here we g-" Homeless Man started, but was cut off when he read the sign on the ship. Went to orbit, back in five minutes The group immediately agreed to go into orbit, all except for one. "Uh guys, I don't know if this ship can go into space," Space Toaster gestured unassuringly. "Yes it can," Foom Man said. "No, it can't," Space Toaster spoke. "If this ship cant go into space then my name isn't..." Foom Man began, but stopped in his tracks. After about five seconds- "FRANK!" Mono yelled at him. "YOUR NAME IS FRANK. I've told you dozens of times." "No you haven't," Fast Guy said. "Oh, okay," Mono replied. "Well, we're still completely unsure whether or not this thing supports space travel," Space Toaster interjected. "Thats a risk I think we're all willing to take," Foom Man said with his head tilted toward the sky. "I've gathered Space Toaster isn't," Fast Guy said as he put his poking stick down. "Oh shut up ass," Foom Man replied. |
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| Epic Load One: The Annoyance Reconasance |
| (I made the logo) |