Just wanna die and cry , fall down , run away and hide , let life pass me by.... How could anyone wanna give their life away , just because they can not see the lie . It manipulates and infiltrates the mind , shows the man whats in n wats not , shows the man how to cover up everything that makes them up , but...Why ...why can i see this shit before anything else . Wish i was like normal guys..live life get high .till i die , take joy rides in fast cars dumping chicks like its a blast buying mags to masterbate over hot chicks as long as it lasts .Can't be like the rest.....ive tried before ..back when i got my face shoved in the door . And now when im on top of it all , i see the floor ...but..i need to think about myself , but i dont know how.. waiting for something to show the way , just need to know of how to live , why to live , coz i dont know , i just want to turn around , face another way . See everything in a different state . Give me sometime to go through life alive , make up for all that ive done ..that has been wrong . I don't know what to do , i dont want to be weak , i want to be strong , i wanna live.. i wanna dream like normal guys , dream nice dreams , dreams of making love to blondes dreams of fast screaming hot rods cruising past the oddities , calming im the prodigy , on a high chemicaly naturaly it wouldnt matter coz id be fly .and i dont wanna die i wanna live on wanna dream sweet dreams , wanna fly with the kool crew wanna be on top , wanna live for myself and no one else , coz id give it all up just even for one day ,to live my life in a good way for just one day, id give my life for it , be low for it , take a dive for it ......im greedy selfish couldnt give a shit for the needy,i want the cheddar da gurls n the whole crew as well, give me all these things that make me look swell....itd sure as hell make me appear well..but deep inside i know it wont work im deteriating killing the one thing i wish never left my side .
I dunt think i need to live no more......well not for you ne way.... ive had just about enough of this....u dont need to c me this way.... everything i seem to touch fucks up in the end.....get away from me yeah i love u as a friend... i hate to leave but id hate for u to get hurt.... dont talk to me dont talk to me no more........dont write to me dont write to me dont write to me no more i know what im asking is hard.....and i hate to pull us apart but if i dont....your only gonna break my heart i dont need the pain..and u dont need the blame im pulling away pulling away from all of you you'll never hear from me again.. u might be sad but by the end u will b glad you dont need to see me mad.... sure i will get sad....but at least i wont have hurt you... i need time...i need space i need to eliminate myself from the whole human race no one needs me no one wants me some might say they do but they havent even seen me i have and i just wanna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that or crawl away and hide........ dont talk to me dont talk to me no more.....dont write to me dont write to me dont write to me no more sh!t is down yes and im not feeling proud maybe im running scared but in the end none of you realy care the ones they say do havent seen me and if they did theyd b as fuct up as you no one needs the pain i want all to maintain this all effects my brain knowing how i feel inside i cant stand it no more....the way i see it im running out of time......just dont forget i said goodbye.. wish you all the best in life ....but dont talk to me dont talk to me no more.....dont write to me dont write to me dont write to me no more
In a mood of confusion ,ive had enuff of self abuse ,time i woke up to myself .i got to bring the me out its hard n i dont have a doubt that its gonna be a long rout.BUt in the end im sure its all gonna work out,ive had enuff signs in life to c that theres sumfin here for me .Not entirely sure wat but i feel it from every inch of me head to my toes ,i know it sounds weird but i do ..newayz....yea im lost. but im found n searching for more... You know right from wrong , so dont use that excuse . Its past you. Your not that mean , and u never have been . Your aware of ethics and morals like no other , and u dare say why bother! Some ppl kill for fun ,they dont see ,they havent a clue whats right nor wrong . You have ,and ur strong ,u belong .Only ppl just cant see it . You covered it up in ur false mascarade ,but i won't allow you to take this shit to your grave .NO! You...you! listen and u keep strong , expose the truth ,urself , and dont hold back , work hard ,and give the peolpe u luv sumfin back :)
Take a bathe , open ur eyes amidst the haze , it's not all clear , but soon it will be ,and when that time comes u'll understand , what u did was hard ,but was right! and worth it in the end. :)
What are you doing? Looking for the end of time why? wasting your life , for who? I know your not doing it for you! You do it for them but why? Dont you know they wouldnt like to see you go , you had and have so much.See you know it.... So.. Dont be afraid to show it.. if we took a vote or poll , you know they'd all vote no .. to stay is for your own good ... they all wanna see you try , and you know if you tried theyd be there and tell you to go for it , so why wait? Go for it!
Luv distaNCE......cant resist u.......need to b wif u come sit here , i shed a tear knowing i have to wait to b there by your side..........hoping i can hold on.........distance barriers i cross only get me and u more messed up .but someday i know we will make it across.............distance yeah it seems it hasnt missed us...seems its screwed up and hit us.........seems we got a lil while to go everything gets a lil cloged up and we pray wont some one plz demist........yeah distance u seem to piss me and other ppl off..........u seem to twist in time and use us.........ive had enough u get out of my way.....i can resist u i will proceed beyond u...........distance get out of my....way
I got this feeling its comforting warm and fun........yet still i feel kinda dumb this shit on my mind that makes everything else so numb ..is it real .is it wat i think i feel......is it one sided am i half blinded can i c through both eyes ....i hope so...do i need to see at all.im not sure but some how i have this feeling it gets stronger by the day......it pulls me down and i fall to my knees kneeling praying everyday i dont have to keep stealing countless time....its wasted ..i know its nice but its not right ........i just wanna b wif u on the nite.........all this time this waste .....i could b wif u instead of talking about how much i wanna hold u i could b wif u...........u in my arms...just me and u hun.....thats wat im talking bout no more goodbyes no more i miss you's........just us sharing each other's company......if i could type a million words to u it'd be nice and all but no thankyou.....a simple hug from me to u can express so many words thatd mean so much to u......its just i cant express some of the things the way i feel about u...its hard i wish i could but babey at the moment i dont care i just wanna b wif u.......
Can luv be blind.........would it take time.is there two faces to every dime......can i count on time...for u to b mine can i make up some lil ryme from my heart to ur mind ...would it do ne good wif out me been there with u right now.....sure i know theres time but i cant wait especialy the way im feeling how ur always on my mind ...for everything else theres no time .
I see what some ppl just dont get , they cant seem to realise that some shits just not ligit , a lot of its fake , material possessions can cause great obssessions...i dont like to hold onto things to long, life seems to have made me just a lil bit more strong, i have one thing thats big my heart, wif lifes experiences n hidden messages seen in art i visualise the big picture me you n everybody else untied as one to work n help each other ,in that supporting caring most importantly sharing,n when this would or could ever b done i prey the lord that earth becomes heaven for all of us ppl n we all b one life is like a bitter lemon it scolds my tongue of the taste before, but if i first ate some horrible food, would it b a greater improvment then b4,or would it simply just look like another floor,same old shit n itd just b like walking through another door, only the room i enter now has no walls no floor nor another door, fenced around but cannot c the boundaries, cant decide if i feel free or violated,is it that we need to see a boundary to know we r free to a certain limit or is it better to not know where our boundaries r at all, n just let all wonder or not give a fuck n stare at the ......nuffin just stare into the oblivious .
Hhmmmmmm i like the slendor feel of the old man mc neal, he had a gun as smooth as rum, nice car n a nice bum , one day he layed out on the floor blodshed n my tears dripped down to the floor,he wasn't like most other men ,this man had a heart that could mend......he fixed the weak n some what helpless lifted them back onto their feet n prayed for them , motivated n fufiled ppl wif a spirit so great no other man nor woman could break,now old mc neal is dead , fear is seen in her eyes as she loox at what was once a beautiful peaceful man to sumfin that ressembles shit covered in flies,this gurl had been enlightened she needed no more just to stay wif this dear old man forever more,she stayed by his side till the authorities arrived,after the material remains had left she cried no more n set off to a new life just as the man had told her to b4 .
Shed a tear for the poor dear who gave up sumfin he treasured so dearly for u, take a breath n realise how much one mans luv can range to,step back n visualise just how much earth can look like heaven, n now imagine its all a lie, imagine the world means nuffin bar u n the ppl of the world, imagine the trees the scenery mean nuffin at all,imagine ur whole life is one big lie until u die,now if u feel u wanna live do u wanna live the lie or do u wanan be reborn n die,its not a question of where its r u ready, can u take the step in ur life to truley live ,instead of wat u used to do have fun living a lie,n all the objects in ur way arent real,there challenges from the simple things as little as peeling n orange ,these simple things i thought i once admired ,now it seems these mean nuffin compared to the ppl in my life :)
Shit flies i see nuffin but lies, why must i persist in this pointless journey of self discovery, the apple tree drops its apples n a young gurl gets raped, whos to say wats great when shit is all covered in a dark dull grey shade, i close my eyes i look for fate a certain image of a better state, i open them my fear flashes back as it devows my insides , its here where ppl see the real side, like the inflammation of a gore stone bladder , ive seen more peacefulness in nice looking sithilus , the beautiful yet horrible distrubing ppl of the world faces riddled wif botox, so fudged smudged and made up , n all this does is cos others to fade out fuss up about how they made out .....n all this is all about is a simple lil matter of self acceptance ,only its not as accepting n easily done as one man b4 once said ...
No he doesnt feel no his not hurt by the feeling of his aching heels,no its not he who feels, but the non -alive, the already dead turn the other cheek cop it for truths sake,as they slowly melt n bake like pigz on a spit, there lives mean nuffin but meat n shit on a stick , only to b consumed by the same fith that disposed of their putrid lives .n like as if 3 knives fall out of the sky along wif two wives u stab em all in the fuckin eyes leave them there to die amoungst the swarm of flies.... and its now when u discover the pigs that can fly, the angels that fly by day and do drive by's by nite ,as we all sit stuck in the off draft of the swirling wind like a sunken shallow kite, we fall at every nip or bite
Everything goes so slow and i wish to god i knew why u even made me go through this alive ......i think itd be kooler if i died .... u made me good inside .....my god ive never hardly ever told a lie.......i thank you a lot for that but god .out here in this world that aint enough to feel alive ........ why did i even have to get out of the hive ....this was like a hand with no high five im flying , no im falling im heading towards the ground ..why does this shh always have to follow me around ...... im fallllllling and its going so slow ..why do i have to go through all this pain.. is this some sort of sadistic show.... i want this to hurry up..let me hit the ground ill shutup.....never hear from me again now thats thats all.... you can mend ok so im falling but ive realised so is the rest of us all........now why not make the best of life before we hit the floor...... and now u see the door .....it looks high and u think the steps so big that u might fall......... never think about the good before u think da worst ......look into gods eyes kid ..theres a fair bit of time for u to fool around try try try a few things ........u wana make the most of it......if u try ,try ,try a few things u just might even win..defeat the ogre defeat the curse that makes peoples time on earth a .living hell now ive shown u this aint a cell.........its not time for me to tell try ......try try its all u can do .fall fall do nothing at all.......where did u even succeed.........fail fail .......u wont have to wait till u bleed time is healing .....try try.try tryyyy its the only way to make ur time on this earth and give you some time ..try try try its all u can do.. this is not about me nor him nor her..........this is about you............
I feel so dumb..i feel so smart failing through school like a cartoon character named bart.......fuck i used to think i was so smart.never do my work and make fun of esl readers in the bak of class..........and everything was sweet...i was young and benevolant....never seemed like i cheated....school waasnt so much a challenge just a bludge and waste of time yet im so smart.....so dumb....and my heart has never felt so numb..my mouth is swollen im dumbfounded i played around screwed around now im just getting pulled down by who.....absolutely nobody noone....life just used to seem more fun but thas coz i was never aware ....wat shit would happen when i threw shit at the world.... listening was second nature never a problem.... considering wat they were saying as useful that was hell but now i feel my life is done......only two steps from a place where lies big pun but i know i aint da only one wif shit to deal some so far gone they need a person from deep within to pull them back up i can try .
