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| Sunday 27th March 2005 Easter Sunday To My Darling Michael I`ve got so much to tell and just don`t know where to start. I miss our little chats so much, but I still write to you in my special diary just for you. Though I don`t seem to write in there as frequent as I used to do. So i guess I must be feeling down again, because today I feel like I coild write a book!!! Done the rounds today, taking all the kids Easter Eggs around to them and watching them all excited, just like you used to be, and even though you are now 21, I know you still would of wanted on (or 3) Been up to the cemetery and put some flowers up for you, red roses as always, plus yellow carnations. They look so lovely and it`s so nice to be able to put real flowers in, instead of those horrible artificial ones. Katie has a nice boyfriend called Aden. You can see he really cares for her, but I so wish you could check him out. He has a black motorbike like yours!!! I got the shock of my life the other night when I came home and saw it parked on the drive, where yours used to be. For a moment.....I thought you had come home to me, (awww if only) I really need to ask you a big favour........I`ve never asked anything from you, but this is something I really NEED you to do for me. I want you to watch over Katie for me........I worry so much about her. She is about to take her driving test, and I am so scared something is going to happen to her, like it did with you. Me and your dad are off on holiday so9on and my biggest concern is......if anything happens to her, we won`t be here when the police knock on the door, or worse still, what if she is unconscious like you were? Then they won`t know who she is, or where to go!! I know you must find it hard to come through to me, because I truly believe if you could you would, but somehow you are going to have to let me know. Or will I know?? Gut instinct, like I did with you. I keep looking at your photo, and it seems to pop out at me, it seems so real life. Michael I know it`s 5 years now, but I still find it so hard to believe that you are not here. I keep thinking of those last days while you were in hospital, and wishing I could have them over again, I would have said so many things to you in those last moments. At your funeral when the coffin started to go......WHY didn`t I stop it!!!! I so wanted to go up to your coffin and kiss the lid, a final farewell. I still feel I am walking around in a daze ands it`s just all a horrible nightmare. I so hope that wherever you are, you are happy and at peace with yourself, and that you have met Daniel, Boo, Jamie, Roy, Stuart and all the other angel sons of the special mums I have met since your parting. I hope Liz (my cousin) is there to look after you, and of cours Uncle Brian and Uncle Malc, and I often even think if Princess Diana looks out for you. We were married the same year as her, you were born the same year as Prince William and Kate`s birthday is thye same day as Prince Harry`s. And she must be missing her Prince`s and you were MY PRINCE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MICHAEL |