1999, ENTRY 6
My darling,
We meet and learn each other in peace; learning what love is...learning to love. Love is a slow growing tree, a live thing. We let love grow sometimes silently, a strong rooted tree, and each day I learn to love a little deeper.
We have so many difficulties of a tangible practical kind to face in our loving; distance alone is formidable and we are both so aware how wondrous this is - just to be. There are comic elements..*s* Even though every moment breathes life for me, there are times we are denied even a cursory moment by fate and life... And though I am content often just to be around you... there is a piece of me that wants to touch you, and to be touched. I long to talk to you all the time... every waking moment... even to snatch moments from sleep and work and bestow them on ourselves like special jewels. Virtually every evening/day for a few moments we can be around each other... and talk. Learning each other deeper.... fluently.... all the time.
Around you I have sparked into sudden and totally beautiful life; the shadows that have darkened me have fled forever. Sitting near you, filled with tenderness, melted from within, so aware of your passion and control and submitting to your greater restraint and strength, my fears slip away dissolved by you and swallowed by the shadows of night...newly lit. My shrivelled spirit opens and unfolds into blossoms of many hues. You have made me alive.
I am enchanted forever, having tasted life with you so intensely. Humble at last; gentle because I am no longer empty, and at peace (because I accept myself because you accept me as I am). There is no more time and no more space.
I am full to the brim. I need no sleep, nor food. I am alive.