Mar
DIARY
2000
No 24
Hi Sweetheart,
the wee small hours!! You have just gone...My mind and my heart is so full of you!! I know what Dopey wants from me and has always wanted from me. I only know because now I know you and all these deep emotions and feelings,
You do not fill the empty places within me; you deepen them. You do not calm the furies of my soul; you stir them. And yet.. oh HOW I need you! I need you in my life like a storm needs thunder.. I am merely the lightening.
Seeing this would make me laugh except I want so to scream and scream and scream from the terrible aching pain of needing you!
Where you have touched me.. I BURN!!... and where I want you to touch me, I burn even hotter! I wet my lips with my tongue, tasting ice and the heat of memory.
It is a lead coloured day, still and cold. The clouds are dense and soggy, and when the rain falls , it drops in sheets... invading...dampening... Loneliness seeps into me like cold from the wind and the rain. I shiver. Noone should be alone on such a day!
I love you beyond lust or even liking and into a realm of emotion too vast for words, too deep to understand. From the beginning of time, it has been you. Always it was supposed to be you. You are the fire that burns in my heart. I feel your heart beating in my body.. your blood flowing through my veins.... as if you have captured and taken hold of my soul.
Your touch has become a memory that swells and seeps into pain that went bone deep. Soul deep. The world has never been as empty as any day without you. My bed is so empty without you in it. And here I have my yearning and the words we speak, and the love that wraps itself even so far away binding our hearts and minds and souls with skeins of lightening... stopping time and changing us forever.
I travel around my world, and carry within my minds eye...you;and a raw ache that has taken root in my soul that I know will be here forever. Everything has changed forever.