DIARY
ENTRY 14, 1999
My darling,
We have acquired split, two layered souls... Underneath are deep emotions, taboos and compulsions, repulsions, and loves unexplainable and dark. Above, the glut of glib words, efficiencies, theories whose meaning disappears in the face of limitless wanting.
Split. in our work, efficient replicas of the persons we once were... in private, keeping love and wanting safely dark, hatred - low and deep, a safe and sombre house for the ungrown child in us both; free from encroachment ... a refuge from prying minds.
Habitual schizophrenes - divided within ourself!! And in those times when our two worlds seem to be rushing away from each other with desperate speed and irrevocable determination, I fear I may one day have to choose between our love ( YOU) and all this!!
This I know. Our love EXISTS. ...and we both dare to dream.... I sift the dreams between my fingers like sand in our lives hourglass... not two, but forever cojoined and one! Here I sit in these moments... warm, basking in the afterglow of our contact... replete. Your voice echoing like whispers in the ear of my mind....fluid within and without.... The knowledge of you grows in me with the progression of each moment, filling me- drowning all else. I walk enchanted, every particle of my being possessed. This world I live in even without you is still a world full of you.
I am floating in this my old new passion, my quirk and my life. YOU!
Thoughts, Feelings