DIARY
ENTRY 12, 1999
My darling,
I feel so sorry for the woman , security hungry, who gave up her TODAYS with you - supposedly building a stabilised formulated FUTURE. You abide by your promises... but your soul went away. Initially you locked it deep inside...... She has long suspected that all that is left is an efficient outer shell, but you were gone... that wonderful especially delightful YOU; lost in acquiescence, vanished completely as her last lock slipped into place.
It is beyond me how anyone can love you and not KNOW what beats at the core of you. You have a need to possess first and foremost YOURSELF. ... in complete possession of your dreaming.
What a genius you have become at GOING AWAY. While there, you have faded without a trace, yet because your body remains, it appears that all is still the same.
There can be no prison of the normally selfish for us my darling. Always it is our choice that holds us close to each other.... souls spooned eternally, regardless of where our bodies may be.
Why you? Why me?? Simply because somewhere, at just the exact right moment in time - life touched us both and changed us forever.
The mere annoyances of everyday happenings and necessities are here and around me, but the core that burns and lights my way is the love that burns high and hard in one soul now separated and in two bodies. I trully could not care less what we have or have not materially. I am certain there is always a way to fill voids of things... they come, they go. To me it is you that matters more than life itself.
And at night, EACH and every night, we sit in companiable silence. Near to each other, I strive to hold back my day.... taking each moment I sit here waiting... holding them to me as an ant stores for the winter. Each day I merely endure.... waiting for my night and the hours that wrap around us.
Thoughts, Feelings