I say dignified noble words, smooth drawn out, tranquil. You leave me and with honour return to your established life totally. You know what you face. You know what you stand to lose. I wake with pain, full sized and clamouring, and I know what you endure.
I speak noble sounding words; tranquil smooth drawn out... dark, formless like water running silently at night. I put forward no wants or rights. Guilt could poison this; buried unspoken growing... guilt in you, tearing you. THAT was why last week at the nadir of all I was and all I am, I offered you yet another doorway out. Guilt for the hurt US being may cause others who genuinely love you and do not deserve to be hurt; and guilt because so much of you wants to be here with me. I KNOW. This can only hurt US if we refuse to lay it down between us and both of us look at it....squarely face it. I can tell you ALL the reasons why we shouldn't be; I can tell you what those outside can use against us to poison our minds.. I can speak more eloquently against an us than anyone alive...... I do this with all of me bidding all I am every time. I am learning to grasp the pain that is the companion to our joy from now onwards. You're not alone; we both carry this.
