Yes- 'tis the obligitary F.U.Q.- where you can find out all sorts of stupid information about Evil Lord John.

Why isn't it F.A.Q.?

Well, F.A.Q. stands for "Frequently Asked Questions". However, Evil Lord John isn't well known, unless you read Immortal Psychotic Monthly, in which he writes an article, but it's only available in Hell, so the questions here aren't exactly frequently asked. In fact, for the most part, they're never asked. And then there's the fact that, if you were to pronounce FAQ as a word, it would sound like "Fack".

Who is the creater/webmaster of this mighty fine site?

It is Noble Knight Karamunga- Evil Lord John's loyal servant and advisor. As well as being his webmaster, I also have to do things like find virgins to be sacrificed in his name, download prawnographic material, give him a loan of CDs and occultist books and such. I'm also currently teaching Evil Lord John to dance, but it's not going very well at all.

Is Evil Lord John a friend of Satan?

Satan? That amateur? HAH! Evil Lord John was friends with Satan an aeon or two ago, but the guy didn't have a clue about being evil. He was just really annoying. And he'd be a pain in the arse to build a house for, as well, because the man was huge. He was a bit of a wimp, though.

Praytell, Mr Karamunga, what music does the Mighty and Powerful Evil Lord John like?

Evil Lord John liketh only the Mightiest and Most Powerful of music, such as the mighty and powerful Iron Maiden, and the Mighty Machine Head. He is also quite partial to the musical stylings of Evanescence (oh, how the Lord wants to do things to their vocalist with his evil peewee), and the Mighty Slayer.

Machine Head? But they [explitive deleted] suck!!!

That they do. But Lord John works in mysterious ways that must not be questioned.

If the Mighty and Powerful Lord John could be any animal in the world, what would he be?

... What kind of stupid question is that?!?!?! This is WHY Evil Lord John needs to kill everyone as soon as possible- there are too many damned idiots in the world. To answer you're question, he'd be something very evil indeed. Like a giraffe, or a hippocrocopig, or a space monkey called Blargh.

Why the Hell do I want to worship anyone called John, anyways? That's a pretty stupid name. He could've at least changed his name to Garland or something. Hell, I'd bow down in fear before someone called Evil Lord Garland, incase he knocked me down.

Because I said so, bitch!

How does one prevent oneself from suffering the fate of the infamous "Lair of Eternal Flames"?

To save oneself from the Lair of Eternal Flames, one must heed and follow the 6 Commandments of the Mighty Lord John!