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Congratulations once again to The Mighty Red Machine for successfully defending their MHL Championship.
1. The Great White Dinks have officially folded due to expansion, poor home attendance and pathetic leadership by their once well hung captain Dan The Dinkster Lau. The remaining players from the once dominant Great White Dinks Gerry The Germ Lee Kwen, Terry THE Law, Jim Posterboy Quan, Freddy Kruger Wu, Richard Doughboy Wong, Matt The Cannon Jensens and Dan The Dinkster Lau.
2. The new expansion team, led by the former Blue Bull Terrier Anthony Actionless Jackson, are the brand new "White Carnations". Following a summer of bitter negotiations, Actionless Jackson and his sidekick followers Chris I'm Fullerit, Dean "Don't Call Me Steve" McQueen, Jeremy "Call Me Julie" Andrews and Jordan Too Tall Moss all refused a 2 million a year contract and subsequently branched off to form their own team. "I requested to have our name called the White Re-InCarnations but I guess it makes sense to call us the White Carnations because me and my teammates all love flowers especially carnations" stated the very low skilled Actionless Jackson.
3. Continuing will be the MHL's zero tolerance game suspensions for any fighting. The referee will call all suspensions.
4. Each team will play 23 regular season games.
5. The MHL Championship Final will be a best of 3 games.
6. The top three teams during the regular season will make it to the playoffs.
7. Each team captain will have the choice of having 13 or 15 players on their active roster. The maximum number of players per team including their sub list will be 19.
8. Dan The Dinkster Lau is hornier than ever.
9. Congratulations to Robert Chuck Fay Fung on successfully passing his genes on to the next generation with the birth of his new baby boy. Witnesses have confirmed his new baby is being fitted for a baby girdle. "I want my boy to be just like me" stated a tired looking Chuck Fay at training camp.
10. The Blue Bull Terriers will win the MHL Championship this season.
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