Went out for a nice dinner at Millenia Walk Burger King with my classmate after work today. Like me, he couldn't decide where to go for the countdown. Haha... but he got more choices than me lah... he was torn between Sentosa, Zouk, Marina Square Breeks! and Ministry of Sound at Expo. Haha... so what happened to these 2 wanna go clubbing cheongsters in the end? We finally met up with some of our classmates later in the night and we went to Fullerton for the New Year Countdown. There were so many people there i tell you... everybody were clustered in their groups and we could also see our nice handsome policemen patrolling around to make sure we are safe. Ha... i enjoyed that part. Hee... We wanted to find a nice clubbing area, but, the places we all went to were all playing house music and er... it wasn't much of our type of music, so in the end, we settled down at a not so crowded field porch area outside Raffles MRT station and chatted. I very jialat... very tired, so i fell asleep most of the time, but i knew that the rest of them had a great time chatting cos when i woke up, they were simply grinning from ear to ear. One of them was particularly excited and kept talking and talking. Hahaha... he made us laugh. (",)  At about 530am, we ate a miserably pathetic $2 kaya toast with hot milo with 2 half boiled eggs breakfast at Lau Pat Sat and left for home.

Though i din get a chance to go clubbing last night, i enjoyed myself nevertheless. Guess my friends' smiles are the ones that make me most happy. (",)

Happy New Year friends!!!!

Here's wishing you happiness, heath and wealth in the coming year. =)

Tomorrow is the last day of the current year. While i'm reflecting upon my life for the past year, i'm also making my New Year resolutions for the future and plans for the countdown tomorrow. After much thinking, i think most prob i will stay at home and sleep. Ha... what a great way to receive the new year.... (",)

continued...  Reflections

I have been an indecisive child this year. Indecisive meaning i was afraid to try new things, afraid of change. Conservative thinking i guess. All i wanted was to hold on to some old memories for comfort of my existence. Actually i have been undermining myself all along... I din think i could create history again. I din think that i could have done it if i tried. And i lost so many chances. Looking back now, there are bound to be some regrets. But, its all over now. I have learnt to look ahead. Even when i look back occasionally, i will never retrace my steps this time. A new path awaits me.

Saw this poster today.

" Don't get discouraged by life. Man had walked to where they are now because they had walked from where they were. "

I often dream about my life in the future. Sometimes I can visualise myself graduating, earning a comfortable sum every month in Shenton Way (funnily enough its not in some rural engineering area), wearing power suit to work everyday, meeting new people all the time, driving a new car, going out with my parents, enjoying my life. Yet sometimes I also dream that i'm in a hospital, serving the old, the sick, the needy. And yet, i also see myself travelling to Egypt, Cairo, Morocco, China, South Africa... to build schools for the children, to render free services and get paid by their generous smiles and appreciation.  Guess that's the Michelle I have been trying to be all along.

Know what??? I love Michelle. Yohoo!

Went out for a chill at Bishan with a friend in the evening. Its been ages since i last met up with him. He seemed contended with his life and his girlfriend. I'm happy for him. (",)

Another friend going overseas for Sem IA. But i couldn't send him off cos i was working at the clinic. I wish him all the best.  (",)

My IA should be starting soon on the 6th, but still dun get any details from Yokogawa yet leh... hmm...

Ok, i decided. I will be going Yokogawa for my Sem IA. This will be a good experience for me definitely. Though i will miss school and my friends, but, half a year is nothing compared to the many many years ahead of me. Dr Tan, remember?

Life WILL be good.

He din seem to want to talk to me today leh. Sad.

Merry Christmas!!

Had a gathering with Fornax today. Really enjoyable break from work. No phone calls, no irritating customers, no nothing. Just a lazy afternoon at Orchard. Slurping noodles, eating chocolates and eating ... food. Ha

Though there was a bad experience with my IA later on, but, i'm glad i had someone to call and ask for advice. Thanks. (You know who you are)   (",)

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas....

Listening to Class 95 now... Spandeu Ballet.... Power song.... Today's songs all very power ah... even my dentist can't help humming a few tunes in the clinic today. Ha

Well, so many many things happened these few days. For one thing, i was dropped out of my HK OIA. Yupp, the company in HK decided to drop me in the end. What can i say? People are all realistic animals mah...they will do anything to hurt someone else and save a few hundred dollars wages. After all the mental prep about going. After all the admin hussle. After all the late night thinkings. I'm fine. I will be. I'm ok about it. I will stay in Singapore, relive my passion for the Club and earn my BIG BUCKS.

Next, i got my results. Well, its considered atrocious, considering that i dropped the Club to concentrate on studies. Ha. What an irony. I passed all my modules though, but dun ask me my grades.

Think that's all for now. Sleep is a luxury nowadays.

Yeah man. NO more indecisive, emotional, wishy washy, unfocused, visionless, blur headed, forever bored Michelle. That's it. From now on, I am gonna concentrate and focus on my career. I am going to be a career woman when i come back. I will earn lots of money. I want my parents to retire soon. I want my abilities to be recognised by all. I will apply for my medicine course after i obtain my Engineering degree 2 years later.  I will be my optimistic, attitude Michelle with no care or consideration for secondary issues like friends or whatever now. 

I feel so ticklish when i read my own diary entries for the past few months. Haha. Can't believe i was so ... useless? Ha... getting all emotional over little things. Well, it has affected me long enough. I am no longer one of those 16 year olds we hear on the radio getting heart broken over a break up or whatever.

Welcome back Michelle.

Received a call today from an old friend who went overseas 3 years ago to study medicine. Boy! I miss her so much! The both of us had pledged to study medicine together in JC 1, though i haven fulfilled that promise, i am glad that at least she has. I am so envious! How i wish i have the money to fly off to study medicine now....

Also received an email today. At least now i got the assurance that my HK IA company will try their best to find accomodation for me.  The only problem now is, DO I REALLY WANT TO GO? Other people get 6000HK and 5 day week, while mine is 5200HK for a 6 day week. Dun sound good right?

When did i become so indecisive? I really dunno. ("<)

Anyone has any comments/advice for me?

Its my Ah Pa's birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday Pa!!! Just want to tell u and Ma that i really really love the both of you very much. (",)

Thanks for everything.

I hate the world sometimes.

I saw a very inspiring sight today. From a team of red ants. They were apparently trying to move a dead cockroach back to their nest up the wall and they were now stuck at a 90 degree corner of the wall. They tugged and tugged and you can see the cockroach almost fall back to the floor many a times, but it didn't. As you look closer, you can see some of the ants tugging at the feelers like children playing a game of tug of war. Others were trying to push the hunt up the corner. I felt really inspired. These little fellows just dun give up! And here we are, moaning and groaning at the slightest setback in our lives. I wanted to become a better person immediately. I want to be like the ants too. Never say die!!!!  I want to learn to be a demure girl.  I want to learn to think and care for other people. I want to learn to love. Well, i wun say i will change for the better, but i will definitely try. (",)

I dun know what became of the ants and their hunt though. Although i din see the hunt being carried up the corner with my own eyes, my faith had told me that they had done it. ("P)

The natives on the island  live a very simple lifestyle. As i cycled along, i saw old men and women sitting at the porches of their house and eating peanuts. Childrens' laughter can be heard occasionally. Dogs, cats and poultry are a common sight. Its just back to the basics. Wow... i really dun mind spending a few weeks there to 'recuperate' from the polluted world outside. Rare chance that we can get in contact with nature again. Though the smell of 'poo' can be quite a turnoff, but the appeal of the scenery still appeals to me. I really enjoyed myself today. Hope to go back to Pulau ubin again soon. (",)

Was 'invited' to attend a bbq tonight. But, it just din feel right. I felt lonely instead. So i din go in the end. ("|)

Listening to this great song now... "Fixing a Broken Heart"... well....  i should know when to give up  (",)

Its a smiley day.. (",)

Look out for the pictures i took on the company function on the right!

Sigh. Back to square one.

Or maybe i should stay in Singapore after all? (Sheet... why am i still thinking about this now?!?!)  ("<)

Tonight is the concluding episode of "Zhen Qing" and "The Bachelor". For the former, well what do you expect? Its definitely a happy ending!!! Everybody found the love of their life, got married and the whole and i really mean amost the whole family came down for a reunion dinner. What a warm sight.  (",)

As for the latter, hey! personally, i think Alex made a good choice in choosing Amanda because he chose someone who i feel loved him more than he loved her. In that way, its always Alex who is receiving more than he is giving. Hmm... (that's how i feel lah)

My HK IA is still in suspend mode. Argh! I really really want to go.... stupid ... i feel so vexed.

Went to our company function today. It was more of a gathering for all the dentists and nurses actually. It was a simple and yet warm, sincere session. I had a pigging out session with 3 servings from the buffet table and a slice of the apple strudel too... yum... Then there were happy families everywhere... my bosses with their families and kids... and oh! all the kids are soooo cute!!!! Makes me think twice about my original slight intolerance of children. Hee.. brought out my maternal instincts also... hahahaha

Nobody went home empty handed today. All my friends brought home lucky draw gifts ranging from steam iron to oven toasters and vacuum cleaners to gift vouchers. Me? Nah... i dun have such luck in lucky draws, but i did bring home something else more important. I brought home fond memories of this big happy family, scenes of the usual strict dentists dancing to the tune of some hip dance music, digital photos of my friends and colleagues and laughter and happiness this part-time job had given me.  Thank you GOD (",)

Continued....  (12th Thurs)

The pics for the event are finally out! Take a look! These are the colleagues working with me in the dental clinic. Can recognise which one is me? ("P)

(Look at the photos on the right!)

Its a work work work and more work day. Very siong  day....

Very 'se1' liao... think better sleep early tonight. Tomorrow still got work in the morning and company function in the afternoon. Aei... but i got no partner to bring?!?!?! Hahaha...  (",)

Totally pissed off now.

I kept hearing the news about the revision of guidelines for medical faculty in NUS on tv yesterday. They are dropping the restriction on the percentage of girls in the fac! Hey! That's good news! Its the first step to women recognition in the workforce. Yah what, in this supposedly knowledge based economy, we are all supposed to be judged on merit, not gender. Gave me hope to fulfil my amibition again.... hee.....its time to live for your dreams!!!!!!  HOHOHO!

Youth is definitely the best asset (besides health).. (er... besides family, friends, wealth.. ah! u get the point!) we have!!

Enjoy our prime years friends!

Continued...

Went out to Orchard with my friend today. Went book browsing at Kinokuniya and Borders. There were so many people wherever we went. Must be because of the public holiday today. Then after a sumptious dinner at home, i went out to meet my 'laopa' and 'sister'. We went to Chomp Chomp and had such a delicious filling meal we almost couldn't walk.  There were our favourite stingray, lala, fried oyster omelette , mutton soup, Hokkien fried noodle and sugar cane juice. What a spread....Haha..

Moral of the story? Dun bite off more than we can chew. Ha

And the consequences? I had to walk home with a bulging stomach lor... sigh...

Went down to Orchard in the afternoon. Approached by 2, yeah 2 talent scouts who asked me if i was interested in part time modelling. Hahahaha!!! Raised my ego!!!! Yeah!!! Then went to Kinokuniya today and did my routine browsing there. Read the introductory chapter of the book "Just Friends". It wasn't a very eye catching book, but somehow, i was drawn to read it. And, hey, i liked it. In short, it was the story of a girl named Freya, who moved into her guy friend's apartment temporarily after she was dumped by her lawyer boyfriend. She dun understand HIS passion for high school like girls while HE dun understand HER quirks too. Eventually, SHE realised that she actually liked HIM, but thought HE liked this bimbodic girl who later married his own father.. er... very duh ah... hahaha... in the end, to cut a long story short, they did get together lah...  very interesting the way the story was narrated, almost tempted to but it, but decided against it later cos .... i din have enough money after just buying a new jacket at Mango costing S$149 an hour before. Er.. that's my Christmas present... hee heee... heee.... when will the day come when i go into Mango and just pick up what i like and this cute handsome rich guy (supposedly called my boyfriend) will pick up the tab for me?? Haahahhaa.. i am dreaming, i am dreaming...  (",)

5th December (Thurs afternoon), rain

Just came back from AMK Central. Collected my blood test report. Turned out that i needed my Hep A and B jab after all.  And the vaccination jabs would cost about S$270 in all... quite a sum to pay, considering that i cannot make any claims from the dental clinic as i am not a staff there for a year yet. So....  guess i just have to be careful about my daily routine....

Spent the day considering about my HK IA placement offer. Actually, i haven solved my money issue yet. As in, i still dun have enough funds to go HK yet. Dun think i will ask from my parents as we are having some financial problems now too. Just hope that whoever is up there will leave a way out for me. The more i think about it, the more i regret my purchase of the jacket yesterday. What a bimbodic move. What an idiot.

Think i better look out for money making opportunities now. Hope i wun have to end up working in Temple Street. I mean work there as a part time dishwasher/hawker leh... what are u thinking? Ha

Managed to meet up with Dr XXX though. She's very friendly, very comfortable to be with. Tell u all a secret, i think she looks like Dr Shengxiao from Zhen Qing!! Hahhahaaa.... Dr XXX is very nice too... very entertaining evening i had i must say... =)

The bash is gonna be on tomorrow... can't wait man!!!! Hope i can spot some cute guys there.. hahahaa

Sheet... I did it again. I woke up at 1330 today! Hahahaaaa... cannot believe it man.. i just look at my watch and go "Hmm.. so late liao ah..." and then just plop back into bed. I finally decided to pull myself up cos i was feeling too hungry liao. No choice, gotta eat something. Ha.

There goes my plan for today. Again. I promised myself last night (again) that i would spend today at a nice bookshop and snuggle my afternoon in books there. But, after waking up so late in the afternoon (again), i now too sian to go out liao. I also haven top up my Dec pass concession, so if i go out today, the stupid machine will definitely beep (again) like nobody's business. What to do? Just walk pass quickly, swear at the machine (again) and pretend its not your fault lor. Ha.. not bad ah.. save some bus fare (again) also. Hee

Continued... (1230am)

Just came back from a dinner and pool session with two of my seniors. Long time never play pool liao, so a bit rusty, keep losing... sheet.. so paiseh....

My eyes feel a bit funny today, self examined and found some protein deposits. Sheet.. think i better go see the doctor tomorrow... Hope i wun turn up on  Wed at the bash in specs. So 'toot'. haha.... Tonight's "Shi Zi Lu Kou" very boring leh.. the celebrities not fun one.... better sleep early... still gotta see doctor, go school and work tomorrow.

Had a very very siong day at the clinic today... so sad leh.. other people enjoy themselves on weekends, and i am just the opposite! People enjoy themselves while i am working and when i am off duty, all my friends are working and i dunno who to ask out to have fun. Sigh...

Went out with two of my good friends from Fornax last night. Really very happy to see them. One was my 'sister' and the other my 'lao pa'. Hahahahaa!!! If u are reading this now, hihi!! (*wav wav*) We just simply sat down at Coffee XXXX and chatted. Hahaha.. the feeling was wonderful.  =)

If you are all wondering what in the world Fornax is, well, its my Orientation Camp group when i first came into Engin as a freshmen. It was after knowing this bunch of great friends that i became more of an extrovert, more daring and more open to challenges. It is also becos of them that varsity life is not so dull too... Knowing this bunch of great great pals is one of the best thing (besides knowing my beloved beloved Engin Club Chronox Camp Committee) that has happened to me. I love Fornax (",)

But somehow after meeting them last night, i became troubled. Dun ask my why. I cannot and also dunno how to explain it. Maybe it wasn't the coffee that made me lose sleep after all?

No more of my idol "Wu Qi Hua' show "Loving You" liao... Sunday nights are now so boring... even Zhen Qing is the repeat telecast.. i want to watch the current one... i want to see Yue Nam and Shengxiao... haha