| Reason 9 I've never been to a rave before. That's why I'm looking around with wide eyes like a total fucking idiot, clinging to Angel's hand so I don't get swept away in it. I don't know what I expected, but I certainly wasn't expecting this. From the outside, this place looked like a deserted old building. I would have walked right past it and not known that there was a rave going on inside. The hallway that led us here was lit with red lights, and the strobe lights from the dance floor reflected off the walls, so it was like there were a million cameras going off at once. And in here, it's even better. It's like a massive moving, seething, vibrating mass of dancers pretty much moshed in together, their hands waving, their booties shaking like they've all happened to become epileptic at the same time. Some are dressed up all glitzy and flashy, like they're from Hollywood or some shit. Some are dressed somewhere between punk, grunge and Goth, with pale skin and dark colours. Other are in fluro everything, which is set off by the blacklights. There's this mass DJ booth set up at the head of the dance floor, which is so fucking packed with dancers that I can't even SEE the actual floor. Strobe lights make everybody's movements seem jerky and irregular, like they're a badly made cartoon, skipping all over the joint. Tube blacklights are running over all the place, making everything that at one point was white, now seem purple or green, depending on whether you are being hit by white or green strobe lights at the time. "C'mon" Angel has to lower his head and pretty much talk against my ear so I can hear him, "Shaun'll be round soon". I don't really care. I just wanna drink and then dance until my legs give out and I fall in a heap on the floor. Then it's time to start drinking again... I glance down at my clothes as we go over to these couches in a fairly dim corner. We opted for bright, fluroescently so. So, I've got these mass white parachute pants that are gonna fall off my ass any minute now, with this little fluro yellow singlet that looks even brighter against my skin. I've got these cool glo bracelets and all these brightly coloured little lackeys in my hair. I'm not usually one to get all dressy, but I'm not feeling like boring old Letty tonight. Angel's got a few friends here, all older than me, some even older than him, and I don't even catch half of their names over the thumping music, so I can't really tell you about them. One of the girls, Keisha, she gave me a drink. I'm not really sure what it is, but it warms my throat as I swallow, and I can feel it go all the way down. It almost tickles. Angel doesn't sit long. He's dragged off by two skanks in mini skirts who want him to dance, and he promises me he'll not be far, if I need him. I just smile, nod, and hold tight to my drink. I'm feeling good. The rest of this glass and I might get up. Go dance. He wasn't lying, Angel, when he said that Shaun wouldn't be long. Creeps up behind me, the sneaky shit, which isn't that hard seeing as the music is loud enough to drown out a bomb going off. And I don't really think he was hiding or sneaking, it's just that he came up behind me and scared the shitters out of me, which still pisses me off some. "You feelin' any better?" Shaun asks, dark eyes full of concern, perching in a way that only he could with his compact little ass, on the edge of the sofa I'm lounged all over. I raise an eyebrow at him, trying to make out his question through the haze that everything is currently needing to penetrate in order to get to me. "Sure am, babe" I give him a feral grin, "Can you get me a drink?". Shaun looks at me for a moment, then over at the bar, before looking back to me again. He looks uncertain. I don't care. If he won't buy me a drink, then I'll get Angel to. He's nice. He'll get me one. "Oh, jus' forget it" I groan, pushing myself off of the couch with one hand on his knee, and move away from him, forgetting him almost as soon as my ass has left the couch. I just wanna find Angel. Get a drink. I want a drink. I weave my way through the tightly packed crowds, searching for Angel. He said he wouldn't go far. Said he'd stay close enough to keep an eye on me. I try to keep to the edges of the crowd where I suppose he'd be able to see the couches from, but get jostled further and further into the seething mass until no matter which way I turn, all I can see is people. I'm not claustrophobic or anything, but it's still fucking scary. My brother, y'know...dammit, what's his name....Elias. Yeah, Elias, he's claustrophobic. Not, like, he's afraid to go in the closet and shut the door or some shit. He gets dizzy and stuff. In tight spaces, where it's hard to breathe. Where it's dark. Where he can't get out. He doesn't like to be crowded. Fucking hell, imagine him here. Damn. It's getting hot. I want a drink. I feel like I've just spent the last week in the desert, my throat's that dry. I turn in a circle the best I can when there's bodies pressing in from all directions. Can't see anyone familiar. I'm just about to panic when a hand grabs my elbow. I spin around, expecting Angel, but it's one of his friends. One that I didn't quite catch the name of. It doesn't matter though. He can get me out of here. Get me a drink before I die of thirst. "Wanna dance?" he asks, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close enough for me to hear him over the thundering music. I get up on tip toes, accidentally pressing my chest against his, so that he can hear me. "Can we grab a drink first? I'm dying" I ask, and he gives me a smirk, then keeps his hand at the base of my back as he directs me out of the crowd. He found his way out so easily I almost feel embarrassed that I was beginning to panic. Probably because he's about six foot, and I'm like, 5"5, so all I could see was people's shoulders. "Letty, right?" he asks lifting two elegant brows that would make Mia jealous, when she gets hers manicured or whatever almost twice a month; taking us both over to the bar. I lean against it for support. It's so damn hot in here. My throat's too dry to answer. I just nod. "Wilson" he replies with a cocky smile, "I figured from the look on your face you couldn't hear Lebeau when he was introducing us". I stare at him blankly for a moment. Lebeau. Who the fuck is that? Then it hits me. Lebeau. That's Angel. He he, silly me. I giggle out loud without meaning to, but Wilson just smiles. I wonder vaguely if that's his last name, Wilson, coz he's calling Angel 'Lebeau'. He hands me a glass. It's got something in it, something that looks like a drink, so I put it to my lips and tip my head back. It's warm, just like the other drink that I got off Keisha. Burns my throat a little bit. "Woah" Wilson leers at me, "Bit thirsty, are we?". I look at the glass. There's only a little bit left in the bottom. Damn. I only just had a sip. They really should fill these glasses properly. I shrug and swallow the rest, then put the glass down on the bar, "C'mon. You wanted to dance". He grins, leaving his half finished drink where it is, and follows me, one arm across my back to rest on my hip. We don't go so far into the mass this time, which is a good thing, because I don't think I'd ever be able to find my way back out. Wilson pulls me in with a hand at the base of my back, so that our bodies are touching, we're that close. I can smell his aftershave. It's kinda tangy. Smells expensive. I wonder vaguely what it would taste like if I ran my tongue against his throat. He's an alright looker, Wilson. Certainly seen uglier people than him. He's got sandy blonde hair which is gelled in every which direction, and hazel eyes which I'm not overly fussed over, but it looks alright on him. He's got a light tan and this tiny little sprinkling of freckles across his nose. Certainly seen uglier people than Wilson. It's hot as hell in here. I'm not the only one feeling it either, coz Wilson's got glistening beads of sweat forming at his hairline, that I can only make out because he's got his head lowered so he can see where he's running his hands. He grips my hips and spins me around, tugging me back so that my ass is planted firmly in his lap. I reach a hand back, resting it at the back of his neck, as he wraps his arm around my stomach. It almost feels as though I've melted into him. Like we're one person. I can taste salty sweat on my lips as he turns me back to face him, dragging me closer again, until we're so close I'm certain I wouldn't be able to tell where I stop and he starts. Wilson drops his hands from my waist, gripping my ass through the thin material of my pants and pressing my hips to his. I drape one arm around his neck, enjoying the tangy feel of his skin on mine. God, I feel good. Not a worry in the world. Never felt so carefree, so light, so happy, in a longer time than I care to admit. It feels like mere minutes, but after almost an hour of dancing, Wilson finally sighs and gives me a tired grin, "I'm dead, Letty. One more minute and I'll fall over. You want another drink?". I nod energetically. Sure. I'm up for anything. I can't believe he's tired. I feel on top of the world. I follow him back over to the bar, looking around the room. I feel so zippy. Like I could run a few laps of this place. I take the glass Wilson holds out to me with both hands. The liquid's got a bit of a reddish tinge, but it's pretty, I reckon. I drink it eagerly. All that dancing has made me thirsty. The drink tickles all the way down to my tummy. I laugh, almost dropping the glass. As soon as Wilson takes it from me, I turn away, and start walking with no real direction or destination. Just walking. I stumble across the couches. Literally. I almost trip over the corner of one. I start giggling. I am such a klutz!! Shaun is sitting on the couches still, with one of Angel's friends. Damn...Alonzo? Lorenzo? Something like that. Something stupid. Anyways, they're sitting on the couches, and Alonzo; I'm pretty sure it's Alonzo, not Lorenzo; has his knee pressed ever-so-casually against Shaun's thigh, and his hand ever-so-casually rested on Shaun's arm. Alonzo leans in to whisper something to Shaun, nibbling at his ear, and I could just imagine Shaun's mouth ever-so-casually in Alonzo's lap, and it freaks me out. "Wot the fuck're you doin'?" all of my words slur together, but Shaun looks up anyway, brows raised, like he doesn't understand my disgust. Either that or he didn't understand what I said. "How can you even *do* that?" I ask, frowning. Ew. Yuck. That's like Vince mauling Dom or something. Ew!! God, these two are disgusting! "Do wot?" Shaun looks confused. Like he's not doing anything wrong. How can he look at me so innocently? "You two look like faggots, sittin' like that!" I exclaim, waving a hand at them. Damn. I can't think straight. My thoughts are skippin' all over the place. I'm jus' sayin' whatever comes to my head first. What the hell is wrong with them any damn ways? "Let, I *am* a fag" Shaun answers, and he sounds so serious when he says it. Shit. He's a fag? Shit. Well, thanks for telling me, Shaun!! If that's even your damn name, you lyin' motherfuckin' shit. Probably trying to use me to pick up guys or some shit. "Wot the fuck?!" I cry, thoughts running through my head so fast that I can't pick out which one to say, "So you jus' gonna sit there in front of this entire fucking place an' suck his dick and do wotever other sick shit you do!?!". Shaun looks shocked, but I don't trust him. Lyin' shit. "Letty, you been drinkin'?" Alonzo asks with a concerned frown, but I ignore his damn faggoty ass. I don't wanna be seen with no fag! Where's Wilson? Where the fuck is Wilson? I turn away from them, looking for someone familiar who's not got some other guy's dick halfway down their throat. I stumble sideways. Damn. My head hurts. God, I need a drink. It's so hot! My mouth is like the fucking Sahara Desert and I'm sweatin' like a damn pig. "Letty" Shaun says softly, taking my arm, "You take somethin'? Or did you drink somethin' someone gave you?". I yank my arm away and almost fall over. I don't want no fag touchin' me!! "Doan touch me!!" I shout at him, stumbling away, "Damn! You think I want some fag touchin' me!?!". Shaun stares at me, his mouth open like he wants to say something, but doesn't know what to say. "Shit. Why'd you leave home, Shaun?" I ask with a cold stare, because I want him to go away and leave me alone, "Yer Dad get tired'a you suckin' his dick?". Shaun takes a step back, like I've slapped him. If I'd have been somewhat sober, I would've seen the pain, obvious in his eyes. I would have actually seen Shaun's heart break, right then, right in front of me, because of what I'd said. But I'm off my face, so I just glare at him. He steps back another step, then turns and weaves quickly through the crowd, heading for the exit. "Hey" Angel jogs up behind me from where ever the hell he's been all this time, "Where's Shaun goin'?". I shrug, one eyebrow raised, "Who gives a shit? Fuckin' faggots-" "Hey" Angel grips my arms so hard I'm sure there's gonna be bruises there, "Wot'd you jus' say?". I stare at him, eyes wide with shock. What's his problem? "Angel" I complain, trying to wriggle away, "You're hurtin' my arms!". He lets me go, but grabs my wrist when I try to move away from him. He looks angry with me. What the hell is wrong with people around here? "Wot?!" I cry, "I wanna dance!". "Wot'd you say to Shaun, Letty? Where's he gone?" Angel insists. Damn. Like it's important or something. "Nothin'! Damn, wot'd you care? He's jus' some fag" I try to pry his fingers off my wrist, "Let me go, Angel!!". "Wot've you been drinking?" Angel asks, grabbing my other wrist when I start prying his hands away from the one he was holding, "You're high as hell, Letty! C'mon. Let's go". He lets go of one wrist, and starts pulling me towards the exit. "Let me go, Angel!! I wanna dance with Wilson!" I yell at him, trying to hit his shoulder with my fist, but my aim is really off and I hit the back of his neck. Pretty hard too. He turns on me, looking really pissed off. "Wilson!? Fuck, Letty, he put speed in yer drink!! A'ight? He don't like you, so get the fuck over him!" Angel tells me angrily. I start to struggle against him coz Wilson does too like me and he would not put drugs in my drink! Talk about a wild imagination!! "Letty! Stop this shit!" Angel shouts at me, gripping my elbows, and shocking the hell outta me, "Wilson is an asshole, alright? He's a fuckin' tickle-dick bastard. Shaun's one'a the only friends you got out here, and you must've said somethin' pretty damn bad to make him walk out like that. I don't appreciate people hurtin' my friends. I suggest you shut the fuck up and do what I tell you, because I am not in the mood to be overly tolerant with you". I just stare with wide eyes and nod, letting him pull me outside. It's pissing down with rain. It's freezing out here. I rub my bare arms while Angel unlocks the passenger door to his Mitsubishi Lancer. He holds it open and I get in, teeth chattering, even though my body feels like a furnace . He gets into the drivers seat and starts up the car. "Where're we goin'?" I whisper after a long trip with not a single sound expect for the rain hitting the windscreen, and the Nelly CD playing softly on the SQ sound system. I'm having trouble working out what's going on. Having a hard time piecing together the reasoning behind my present state. Having problems working out what this place is and what I'm doing in it. "The hostel. You can stay there tonight. You'll be safe there. If you feel whack, jus' tell someone. I gots to go find Shaun. Gimp'll probably be round, or one'a the boys" Angel pulls up to the curb outside a building that's vaguely familiar. Angel gets out of the car and shuts the door, then comes around to my side of the car to help me out. I lean heavily on his arm, a little woozy on my feet. I can hardly see. Everything looks fuzzy and my head is pounding. Angel steers us both inside and as soon as we get inside the main room, people look up warily from various places around the room. Don't recognise any of them off the top of my head. Two guys that look pretty familiar get up, and come over. "Ay, is she a'ight?" Ram peers at me, then looks up at Angel. Daniel is behind him, dark eyes looking worried. The other people in the room have gone back to eating or sleeping or whatever else they're doing. "Yeh, she will be. Can yous watch her here? She's gonna come down soon, but I gotta go find Shaun" Angel asks, brows raised. Ram is too busy staring with his mouth open, so Daniel steps past him and takes one of my arms. God, my head hurts. Ram seems to wake up and grabs my other arm so they can support me between them. "Thanks, guys" Angel says, raking his fingers through his wet hair. The two of them just nod and head me over to an empty bed in the opposite corner of the room. I look over my shoulder at Angel as we reach the thin mattress resting on a rusting metal frame, which is meant to pass as a bed. He's got his hands dug in his pockets, bright blue eyes watching me. I get a feeling I'm not his favorite person right now. More To Come.... |