I had just moved back to California from Europe, and had
started a new job, when a fraternity brother of mine from Chico
gave me a ring and described the Rosarito-Ensenada
Bike Ride to me. I must admit that I didn't expect to go; As
a matter of fact I didn't, and either did Tom. We both flaked.
Fall came around, and Tom mentioned the Race again, this time he
was definitely going, as his friend Jeff was going to go with a
whole group of friends. I still didn't expect to go; I even
didn't make my reservations until the last minute, but I did and
am I ever glad I did so.
I had a business appointment in San Diego Thursday, so I used
this as an excuse to take Friday off, and have my airfare paid
for by my employer. Tom flew down Friday morning, and we met at
his hotel in La Jolla.
Tom had arranged for our trip to be taken care of by some
company; they were providing a bus, and had arranged our hotel in
Ensenada. The hotel that Tom was staying at was packed
with fellow participants in the race. We all crowded on the bus,
popped open our beers and were off!
We arrive in our hotel (Corona) which is situated near the finish
line after midnight. Score. It's a zoo; No one is organized; we
eventually get checked in, and crash for the night, as the bus
leaves for Rosarito at 05:00 (Ouch!). Hotel is OK. Nothing to
shout about.
Ok, we arise; cranky and hung over from the bus ride the night
before. We arrive at the starting line early good thing
too, as when we collect our bikes, my headset bolt is missing!
This is a major disaster, as I had bought the bike brand new the
week before for the trip, and there was no bike shop in sight!
After walking several miles down the road (with my starting
position getting farther back by the second) I found the mythical
bike shop that Tom told me should exist.
While I am haggling over the price of a completely new headset
(they didn't have a bolt that fit), Tom is flirting at the start
with these two (or three) beauties from LA.
Ok, 10 miles has gone by, and the hill has arrived. It's here
that Tom and I part company for the rest of the ride; you see I'm
fat, and out of shape, and can't keep up. Tom is not.
Just as I'm about to get off my bike and walk, this young lady
pulls along side of me and starts conversation. "My ass
hurts"
I wheeze out: "Y - (puff) ea, (huff) so does mine"
"I need a Gatorade" she replies.
Ok, time for a break. "I'll get you one"
"No, No, my treat." as she stops by one of the numerous
guys selling drinks every 10 feet or so
So, we end up talking, and finishing the ride together. When we
reached the top of the hill, I repay the Gatorade with a Pacifico, and she
turns the conversation to "bodily adornments".
What I really mean here, is she takes her top off to point out
her nipple rings to me. Ok, I just have to comment. "Didn't
that hurt?"
"No, but some of the others did"
"Others?" I reply knowing full well what she is bound
to tell me next.
"Yea, come here" at this point, as curious as the
proverbial cat, I remove my helmet and approach her.
She pulls the waist of her biking shorts out a full foot from her
bellybutton, and procedes to show me that a hoop about 2 inches
in diameter is protruding from her uhm, feminine parts.
Gulp. Ok, just what the fuck do I say now?
We cruise down the hill to the flat part neer the finish line.
A dead horse lies in the gutter, my body pierced friend is still
with me, my spirits bright. We cross the finish line! Wait a
minute, no fiesta! What's going on?
Well, it turns out, that the fiesta is several miles past the
finish line! Ok, we pedal on. And decide to stop at the hotel
(adjacent to the fiesta) to drop off our bikes (my
"friend" is also staying there). Whilst we wait for the
guy in the van to take our bikes, some guy shows up and starts
chatting up my friend. (Ok, no worries, she has already shown me
all there is to see; that should have been a buying signal
shouldn't it?). He start to mention that his scrotum has been
pierced; so they leave together. I guess I really didn't want to
sleep with her anyway (didn't want to catch any of my skin on any
peice of her jewelry), so I head off looking for Tom.
After an evening of carousing Ensenada with Tom, Jeff and
friends, we crash for the night.
The next morning, we breakfast at the hotel, and gather our
things. The bus is leaving shortly, so we check out. And when we
ask for our passports, ect, the desk person informs us that we
can get them later tonight. Whoa! Wait a
minute; the bus leaves in a few minutes; It's not even lunch time
yet, there is no way we can wait until tonight, or leave without
our passports and plane tickets!
In the ensuing argument, the desk clerk informs us that the
manager has gone home, and until the evening manager arrives, we
were S.O.L.
We freak. Tom talks to the
lady in charge of the bus, and magic happens! She gets the day
manager on the phone, and he comes down and unlocks the safe. By
now, the whole bus is mad at us for the delay, but we still make
it over the border on time.
We have quite a wait at the airport. Reno Air wants to charge
us $50.00 each to send our bikes home. We protest! The guy in
front of us didn't get charged, I'm quick to point out; They then
page him and charge him $50.00 too. He's pissed. We retreat, take
the Marriott shuttle to the Airport Mariott, and Fed-X our bikes
home, compliments of Symantec. Yes, I was slimy, and billed the
shipping of our bikes to my corporate account. So sue me.
The
Iron Butt Club |