Our Beliefs and Guidelines for Dating
The purpose of our relationship (past, present, and future) is to have a relationship that honors and glorifies God in all that we do.
I. Why we should date.
A. The purpose of dating is to get to know a person better and to discover if this is someone you could
pursue a marriage relationship with.
B. Throughout a dating relationship a question you should ask yourself is, "Is this someone I want to spend
the rest of my life with?" Three responses to this question are yes, I can't answer this question yet, or no.
If the answer is yes, then you have discovered whom you can have a marriage relationship with and the
relationship should continue. If the response is I can't answer this question yet, then the relationship
should continue until you reach a yes or no answer. If the answer is no then the dating relationship
should end immediately. Continuing the relationship would be abusing the gift of dating God has given to
us.
C. The relationship preceding engagement is not a matter of labeling it as dating or courting, rather the
question we should ask ourselves should be, "Is this relationship glorifying and pleasing to God?"
II. When we should date.
A. Dating is an awesome gift God has given us in getting to know someone of the opposite sex and should
not be abused.
B. Age has nothing to do with dating; it's all about how mature we are. (Some people are ready to date at 16
and others are married and they still are not ready to be dating.)
C. A list of guidelines should be made that states the kind of person you want to marry. Only the individuals
that fit these guidelines are people who can be considered to date.
D. A dating relationship should not occur until your relationship with God is strong. You cannot have another
committed relationship if you are not right with God.
III. Whom we should date.
A. A set of guidelines of whom we will date should be written out and used. This list should be based on
what we find in Scripture about how we are to live our lives. Portions of the list may not necessarily be
determined prior to the relationship, but possibly during the relationship. A list of guidelines we think are
important to follow are that: A person you can date should...
1. be a Christian and growing in their faith.
2. get along with each other's family and friends.
3. have the same morals.
4. understand the true meaning of love.
5. have the same beliefs, views, etc. about God, the church, the Bible, and other major doctrines of the
Christian faith. (We find this to be extremely important because if this individual is the person you
marry, the couple needs to have the same views in order to be a family, with or without children,
that holds to the same biblical standards for their lives.)
B. The person God allows us to date/marry is not limited to one individual. God gives us the freedom to
choose whom we date/marry as long as that person fits the criteria set by His Word. God's will does not
lead us to a certain person, but molds us to be a certain person, who will honor and glorify Him in all
that we do..
IV. How we should date.
A. In a relationship, communication plays a big role. When in a dating relationship couples should be willing
to be open and honest with the other person. Examples include but are not limited to...
1. When conflict arises in the relationship, the disagreement should be dealt with in a biblical way.
a. The problem should be presented to the other person in a private manner.
b. Forgiveness should be sought.
c. After the problem has been solved it should not be brought up or used against the other person.
2. Being open and honest is important but there are certain issues that should not be discussed or
brought up in friendships and/or dating relationships. Some topics should not be discussed prior to
marriage with the opposite sex. Examples include, but are not limited to...
a. Talking prematurely about things related to physical intimacy within marriage.
b. Talking about physical weaknesses that should not be discussed with a person of the opposite
sex prior to marriage.
B. Time spent with a boy/girlfriend should be proportional to the other areas of your life.
1. Family and friends should not be forgotten or neglected.
2. Time spent together should be based on getting to know that person better.
3. Time spent alone should not be a place that could encourage sin.
C. In a relationship, physical expressions can be a form of communication. They are a gift from God and
should not be abused. Every person has different weaknesses. Guidelines are important to have and may
differ from person to person. All couples should consider these few principles while making their lists:
1. Physical expressions should not exceed peck kissing.
2. Couples should not touch, hold, or look at each other in a way that should be saved for marriage.
3. Couples should not ask how far they are allowed to go physically in a relationship without sinning.
Instead they should constantly ask themselves, "How pure and holy can we remain?"