The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law
school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm.
At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said,
"Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been working
on for ten years!"
His father responded: "You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for ten
years!"
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A lawyer, who was talking to his son about entering college, said, "Now got into
your head that you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?"
"Well, dad," answered the son, "did you ever hear anybody get up in a croud and
shout frantically, 'Is there a lawyer in the house?' "
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Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make
it last even longer
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When the man in the street says: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," the lawyer
writes: "Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any
and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent
upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent
maintenance procedures."
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In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited by law is obligatory.
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A junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term
client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client
acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the
firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."
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A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy,
do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he
passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a
lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer
gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to
question that woman's punishment?"
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