Alles is voor elkaar. Your dilemma with Mr. Boyle has been much on my mind of late. I worry that he may have inherited his father's worst qualities and that you are setting yourself up for a significant disappointment, as you seem to have done with your judge. However, my real fear is that your hopes for Nicholas, or your illusions, may one day place you in a far more dangerous situation.
For some reason my mother's family keeps intruding into my thoughts. As you will recall, my mother had two brothers, whom you never met and whom I barely remember. Both died tragically a long time ago, which is why Mother succeeded to the title.
In my day, children were meant to be seen and not heard, but that didn't mean that we did not overhear things which we were never intended to know. Apparently, the old Graaf (a difficult man like the Major) favoured Derek, his heir, which in those days was expected. Jan, the younger brother by more than ten years, didn't realise that his brother had also earned their father's respect by talent and hard work. Like you, the Derek of that generation was gifted, driven, and dedicated. Jan greatly resented Derek because he was forced to compete against the deeds and naturally assumed position and wealth of his older brother.
This may be what you have - a sibling rival. He may not only resent you for your position of authority and for the debt he now owes you, but also for the respect the Major held for you - respect that he feels should have been his own. He is still young and may not yet understand the differing levels of relationship - the respect of a mentor for his prot�g�e vs. the respect of a father for a son. Two very different creatures. The blood often gets in the way. I truly believe that comprehension of these undercurrents comes only with age.
Another question for you to ponder. Do you see yourself in Nicholas? Both you and he lost your fathers at the same age in horrific ways. Don't read your experiences into his life. His loss may have been nothing like your own. Its aftermath certainly cannot compare. Let him be himself and you be yourself. Offer him a way to express himself privately and without confrontation. See what happens. I do wish him the best, but you are my primary concern.
By the way, my friend, Mrs. Palmer of San Marino, rang me this morning at 3 a.m. She always seems to conveniently forget those eight hours between here and California. She saw in the Pasadena Weekly that I may soon be attending a wedding and kindly offered her estate for the reception. It snowballs, my dear. I suspect you should keep an eye out for an avalanche.
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