| How To Tell If A Girl Hates You |
| 2) She says she's going to the toilet and doesn't come back. |
| If you didn't know how to tell already, and you see this page as a serious attempt at advice, then lets face it, all girls are going to hate you. |
| 3) She pretends to be offended by everything you say. |
| 4) She fakes a phobia of mobile phones so you won't try to call her. |
| 5) She grows a haircut like one of your mates to freak you out. |
| 1) She tells you she is having her period, JUST TO GET RID OF YOU. |
| 6) She tells her mum / your teacher to pick on you in lessons. |
| 7) She purposely tries to make herself smell bad. |
| 8) Really, really bad. |
| 9) She has a court order put out on you. |
| 10) She purposely goes out with someone you really hate. And acts like a slut around him. |
| 11) Her and her mates sometimes sit near you so that they can laugh at you. |
| 12) She throws things at you. Sharp, heavy, painful things. |
| 13) She swears like a Scottish football player everytime you are near her. |
| 14) She spits like one, too. |
| 15) She finishes your sentances. With gunfire. |
| 16) She pretends to fancy your best mate just to infuriate you. |
| 17) She gets her best mate to pretend to be sympathetic, but in actual fact she is just trying to find out how to most effectively avoid you. |
| 18) She fancies gay men, but not you. |
| 19) She gets her little brother to annoy you. |
| 20) And her big brother to threaten you. |
| 21) She smiles at you patronisingly. |
| 22) She runs off with the Holy materia and gets herself killed by a genetically modified nutcase with a fucking huge sword. |
| 23) She pretends to like crap 80s soft rock music. |
| 24) She pretends to be religious. |
| 25) She invites you to a girly night out with her girlfriends in a bid to DRIVE YOU TO THE POINT OF INSANITY AND BEYOND. |
| 26) During a rejection, she assures you that you are "very sweet" every three or so seconds. |
| 27) She tells you that she and your mother "have so much in common" in an attempt to frighten you. |
| 28) She points a gun at you, spikes your drink, and you wake up in a room with a furnace, tied to a chair with a baseball-bat weilding thug telling you he "envies your name". |
| 29) She says she can't hug you because of a bad back. |
| 30) She summons evil demons of hell (commonly known as "cats") to go and chase you around. |
| 31) She tells you to "be yourself", so that she can guarantee not to fall in love with you at a later date. |
| 32) Her dad treatens you with a shotgun. |
| 33) She signs the guestbook on your website. |
| 34) Twice. |
| 35) She lets your best mate jack off in her house. |
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| 36) She leaves a severed foot in your locker. |
| 37) She cunningly refuses to allocate work evenly, so that she gets the credit for doing everything. |
| 38) She tries to start a conversation and then acts surprised when you (eventually) respond |
| 39) She tells you that you are weird. Everyday. |
| 40) She laughs at you if you compliment her. |
| 41) She steals your food. And money. |
| 42) And clothes. And children. |
| 43) She fakes her own death. |
| 44) She seduces you, then uses the experience to sell a book (Svennis, take note). |
| 45) She keeps playing long balls (again, Sven, take note). |
| 46) She gets you paralytically drunk on whiskey then gets off with you. |
| 47) She tells you to go with her on a trip, then doesn't go herself. |