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An unprepared husband receives meno news from another country.
    I hope you all don't mind that a man is reading and posting.
You are welcome to read and post here.  There are several other  husbands who read and post here, too. 
     My wife told me yesterday (Sat) that she has been having hot flashes and  irregular or no periods for 9 months.  She talked with a military  Dr (male) a month and a half ago or so who basically said not to  worry about it, that it was probably just caused by the difference in location, family separation and so on and that she was too young  for menopause.  Well, we've been doing this for more than 20 years  and have lived in hot climates before so that  was definitely not the problem. 
Well, he was probably right about not to worry about it.  For the vast majority of women there is no reason to worry about menopause.  It's a natural and healthy process, and only a small percent of women have  debilitating symptoms. 

She has run into what I think is one of the most common misconceptions  about menopause.  Apparently the average age that women reach  menopause is about 51 or 52.  So almost everyone seems to think that  it won't happen until then, and that when it happens it'll take just a  few months and then it's done.  That is not the case, as most of us are finding out now. 

 I wouldn't set these numbers as absolutes, but from what I've read, it is perfectly normal for menopause to occur any time after around age  38/39/40 until approximately age 63.  Those would be the extreme outer numbers on the bell curve, and as bell curves tend to go, more women will actually reach menopause in the years clustered closest to 51/52.  But for those who reach it sooner or later than that, it is still perfectly normal, and is not particularly "early" or "late" menopause.  (My own mother was 48, and that's about what I anticipate for myself.) 

 Also, it seems to be that peri-menopause (the time around menopause)  is similar to puberty, only in reverse.  Puberty took several years  (it averages 7 years, according to Winnifred Cutler, Ph.D., a  researcher of women's reproduction).  So it seems logical that  peri-menopause might take about the same length of time.  Many of the  women who post here have had symptoms indicating the approach of  menopause for several years.  (Dr. Cutler says that the average length  of time for peri-menopause is seven years -- but I'm not sure if  that's based on actual studies, or just an estimate she made from  taking informal surveys.) 

 If your wife likes rather intellectual reading, I would recommend Menopause, A Guide For Women & Those  Who Love Them  c. 1992 by Cutler & Garcia, ISBN:0-393-30995-9.  It explains some of  what goes on in a woman's body during peri-menopause and after menopause. (The book is favorable towards hormone replacement, so some on this newsgroup would not prefer it.  But it seems to have one of  the best explanations of menopause that I've read anywhere.) Dr.  Love's book, Dr. Susan Love's Hormone Book ISBN: 0-679-44970-1 is also  a great resource. 

     Neither she nor I know much about it so we're both playing "catch  up", trying to really figure it out.  Apparently her mother has  talked with her a little about it, though in no detail.  The way  my wife explained it me in a nutshell was "no more periods and I have to take pills for the rest of my life".  She's always hated her period, and we planned from the beginning not to have kids, so she won't miss that, but the pills she'll go to her grave hating.
 I would like to emphasize that she has a choice whether or not to take pills for the rest of her life.  Because the most common killer of  elderly women is heart disease, some doctors and scientists have  generalized all women into an "average woman," and decided that since heart disease is more prevalent than cancer, then the risks of hormone  replacements are outweighed by the supposed benefits she will obtain to her heart and bones.  I say "supposed" because it is not even known  for certain that this heart and bone benefit continues on for the duration of the treatment with HRT.  There are some studies that seem to indicate that the benefit decreases with time on HRT.  Other  studies show that risk of cancer increases with length of time on hormones.  So if one has family members who have had cancer, or have a  lot of risk factors for breast cancer, hormone pills might not be a wise choice. 

 Every woman is different and has different risk factors, so a "one size fits all" approach is dangerous, IMHO.  And also, long-term studies have not been conducted yet, to support the conclusion that  life-time treatment by HRT is safe and beneficial.  Yes, there are studies that seem to show that HRT decreases the risk of heart disease  and osteoporosis.  But what they really show is that it appears to be so for the duration of the study.  Most of those kind of studies are only a few years long.  (So all they really show is that it may be safe to take HRT for a couple of years -- or however long the study  lasted.)  A few have been done for five or ten years.  Additionally,  the studies have been rather limited in scope -- many of them only  studied a population of 200 women or less.  That is a very small study  and I don't think it's accurate to extrapolate the results of a small  study to a conclusion for the population at large. 

 So what she needs to do is read up on all the pros and cons of HRT and decide for herself what factors are most important to her.  Or if she  doesn't want to study this herself, she will have to decide whether to  accept her doctor's recommendations as being good enough for her.  :-)  (I don't see anything wrong with that, but I personally am too  independent to allow anyone else to make life-impacting choices for  me.) 

     Anyway, the point I thought I was going to make is that she thought she was too young when she found out that's what is  happening to her.
It was a shock to me when I discovered that it was happening to me.  I  was around 40-41 when I began having symptoms.  IF it is true that  peri-menopause lasts about seven years, then I'll be about 48 when  menopause occurs -- the age my mother was when her menstrual cycles  stopped. 

 Best wishes for both you and your wife.  Maybe she can read and post  here too.  :-) 

 Lianne
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