The reason I'm feeling wrathy about this is because for years before I was even close to this stage of my life, many of the television shows and movies would, subtly or not, contrive to show that no women really want to reach actual menopause.  Any time a drama or comedy decided to focus on this "woman's issue", the (invariably) vibrant, talented, career woman or excellent mother figure involved would react to this very normal stage of life by saying, "I can't be in menopause.  Women in menopause are old, used up hags who have nothing further to offer the world."  Their reactions were always of dismay, denial, and despondency, until they *finally* came to the realization that they could still *manage* to contribute to society, or take care of children, or - well, you get the picture.   (I also realize that many of you eschew television, which I'm not arguing one way or another.  In fact, there have been many times in my life when I've watched a show only to think afterward, "Well, there's one wasted hour of my life that I can never get back", but I digress.  I'm merely pointing out that the message is sent to millions of people.)

I think this tactic is the same one used by virtually anyone who can make a dollar by convincing us that this is something we should dread. I'm not saying this is fun, or a picnic, or enjoyable, or not terrifying, or no big deal.  I'm saying that if less time were spent telling us what a horrible milestone this is, and more effort was made to show that women, for the most part, are *glad* to say goodbye to all of this mess, perhaps we would be less terrified at the prospect.  I, for one, have been looking forward to menopause for years.  I thought I was odd until I started reading this board and saw the repeated references to the party that one or another of you were planning to throw for yourselves.

The attempt is also made to pre-condition us into thinking that we can't get through this without medical intervention.  My own doctor, whom I love, once mentioned casually at least 10 years ago that it was easy to get through perimenopause.  He'd just prescribe -insert hormone here- and I'd breeze throuugh it.  Well, I'm not on hormones, yet.  Nor has he made the slightest attempt at coercion.  I just sometimes feel like someone (or everyone)  is still trying to "raise" me.  You know: discipline.  'We know what's best, little girl.  Just look at these prime time examples of women.  Do what we tell you to do, and you'll be j-u-u-u-u-st fine.'  'Please take this drug or chemical or hormone so you'll be interested in sex again and you'll be a good bed partner.  If you don't, the man in your life will leave you because you've used up your good years.'   I'm tired of the scare tactics and the message that this is the worst possible time in my life.   Sometimes the dreadful negative anticipation makes an experience worse than if it were treated more matter-of-factly.  And I don't appreciate being told how I should feel or told how I am feeling.   I absolutely know how I, myself, am feeling, and I don't want my doctor or drug companies or movies or television shows or my husband to try to convince me that they know me better than I know myself.

Whew!  I feel much better!

Marilee