"Female sexual dysfunction" may be an invention 

The role of drug companies in creating new health conditions and disorders needs more scrutiny. The medicalisation of female sexuality may help women, but also creates new markets for drugs. As Moynihan shows on p 45, corporate sponsored definitions of "female sexual dysfunction" are misleading and potentially dangerous. Claims by researchers with ties to drug companies of the extent of female sexual problems are said to be exaggerated. 

Don't you remember how great it felt to be young + full of energy +  sexual promise? And yes hormonal urgency? It is one of best + biggest  facets of all life.

As a matter of fact, I was just thinking about this aspect of aging the other day.  My conclusion:  I am so happy to have experienced hormonal urgency and sexual promise when I was young, full of energy,  and reckless [and STD could be easily recognised & treated].  Ahhh the '70's..... 

Now I have a different attitude about sex.  I would hate to increase my libido at a time when my husband is dealing with his decreased desire [no obvious symptoms of prostate problems]. 

I find that I can have more meaningful relationships with men when we aren't dealing with the raging hormones.  Relationships can develop without the sexual tension, which often would become a power contest.  I can have any number of men friends and my husband knows that jealousy is not necessary. 

When we choose to enjoy a sexual romp, my husband & I can enjoy a slower pace that can last a long time and develop into true making love.  [Not always true in the days of hormonal urgency]  ;>   I have found that even though I normally experience a drier vagina than in the old days, a herbal creme or salve will work just fine to increase lubrication.  Its easy to apply as needed and there is never a worry about side effects. 
Deb 

(Except for "reckless" -- I was never reckless.  :-)  I directed all that hormonal urgency and energy towards one man -- the one to whom I've ben married for the past 23 years.  There was a short time when I wished I'd had more experience before settling down, but I'm past that now and content with my life.) 

Sometimes I worry a little about my decreasing libido -- but not very much, because my husband's libido is decreasing too.  And it doesn't seem to bother him, so if it's not a problem for him, why should I make it into one?  (We have talked about this, and I'm not making assumptions about his feelings.  Guess we're in this "old age" thing together.  :-) 

Actually, it seems like hormones aren't so much a factor in libido as touch and mental preparation.  If I've been concentrating hard on some topic or job, and then suddenly am presented with the opportunity to have sex, it's really hard to get interested (or aroused).  But if I've been thinking about it ahead of time, with lots of kissing and cuddling thrown in, I get interested, regardless of how "dead" I formerly thought I would feel. 

It has been a great relief to me to not have to maintain the public image of being a sex object (as we did in our 20's and 30's, etc.) anymore.  This is one menopausal role change that I have found to be pleasant.  (I'm probably not describing it very well, but I think Germaine Greer mentions it in her book on menopause.) 

I haven't been able to read the whole book yet (it was due back at the library) but one thing I learned from Winnifred Cutler's book, _Love Cycles_ is that having sex regularly every seven days is beneficial. I can't remember all of the reasons, now, but part of it was that it helps increase fertility and keep menstrual cycles regular  (-- obviously this particular aspect is not important to a post-menopausal woman, but let me finish...) (You can read Cutler's _Love Cycles_ for fuller details.)  so I had a talk with my husband and told him about what I'd read.  (It seemed to me that he was somewhat unhappy about my lowered libido, but he hadn't said much.)  I suggested that we plan to make love every week on a specified day (one that is least likely to be a stressful day for both of us). 

Surprisingly, he didn't say anything in response!  But I have noticed that he now approaches sex with more enthusiasm (probably is more confident of not being turned down, since it was MY idea).  And because of that, I find it more enjoyable, too.  Also, since I know we are going to do it that day, I make more of an effort to be sure that I'm not so distracted and worn-out, emotionally or physically, that it won't be enjoyable. 

I had never before thought that "sex by appointment" would be of interest to me, but surprisingly, this does seem to work for us.  (I had stressed that we weren't limited to just once a week, but that I wanted to try to be sure we did it *at least* every seven days.). Although it's a minor change, this does seem to help my libido slightly.  This may or may not work for others. 

Back to what I said at the beginning about it being 90% in the mind -- I am now trying to think about sexual things more than I had done before, so that my mind will help prepare my body.  Sometimes watching a romantic movie or reading a romantic story helps. 

A couple of other ideas are:  Some men use pornography to enhance their desire -- perhaps for some women a similar technique would work? Maybe not porn -- but perhaps just photos of attractive males or 
whatever you find arousing to you personally? 

There are a lot of sex manuals and books on sexuality available. Perhaps you can find something in the library that offers suggestions that are of help to you? 

Some books recommend self-pleasuring, or masturbation.  Perhaps that could be a helpful technique to help prepare for sex, or to enhance it? 

And never underestimate the value of open and tender talking with your mate about sex, and your feelings. 

As for lubrication, I prefer Aloe Vera gel, (as mentioned by Homemaker J in the past), and we keep some in a pretty pump bottle at the head of the bed, and use it as often as needed during sex.  (Note -- that is usually more than once per sexual encounter.)  You could do the same with whatever choice of lubricant you use. 

And one final idea -- I think athletes are aware of this, but perhaps most people aren't:  Regular, vigorous exercise (when you're past the stage of getting sore muscles from the activity and it's just aerobic and invigorating) has a side-effect of increasing sexual desire.  It might be worth beginning a program of vigorous walking or jogging for those beneficial effects (that may take a few weeks to become noticeable). 

Best wishes, and I hope some of that might be helpful. 

Lianne

         In general, a man should not be seen to express certain emotions 
         In sex, as elsewhere, it is performance that counts 
         An erection is essential for a satisfying sexual experience 
         All physical contact must lead to sex
         Sex equals intercourse 
         Good sex must follow a linear progression of increasing excitement and terminate in orgasm 
         Sex should be natural and spontaneous 
         On the whole, the man must take charge of and orchestrate sex 
         A man wants and is always ready for sex 
         We no longer believe the above myths 

    *Adapted from Zilbergeld B. Men and sex: a guide to sexual fulfilment. London: Harper Collins, 1995 .

But loss of desire is another thing entirely, and one I share with you (although in my case it's only been for the past year or so. Since I don't currently have a partner, I'm opting for a "wait and see" approach, but if the issue were more pressing, I'd probably start looking for solutions.

The problem is, most of the "treatments" I've heard about so far sound either risky (testosterone, for instance, is said to increase libido, but it comes with a lot of potentially bothersome side effects), or scientifically questionable (like the products our friend "albina" is pushing, above).

I've begun to read up a bit on this subject; unfortunately, most of the information I've found seems to be focused merely on debunking the old myth that aging people are sexless, and (IMHO) skims over the undeniable fact that some of us do, in fact, lose our sex drive -if only temporarily -with age. But you might be take a look at:

• http://www.wooster.edu/psychology/moreinfo.html -of particular interest on this site is a loong list of drugs which are often prescribed for older people, and which can have a negative effect on sexual feelings and performance
• http://www.socsci.mcmaster.ca/soc/courses/soc3k3e/stuweb/scott/scottm4.htm
• http://www.hs.ttu.edu/sexuality&aging/ 
• http://www.umkc.edu/sites/hsw/age/index.html

Personally, if I were trying to resuscitate my own waning libido, I'd probably hope for a cooperative, understanding partner, a setting that would allow us to approach the issue with all the time and privacy we could want, and whatever, erm, "romantic" enhancements we deemed appropriate. I'd hope to start with the mutual agreement that we're exploring the possibilities, not necessarily working toward a goal. And I'd try really hard to hang on to my sense of humor ...

I know this probably isn't much help, but it's the best I can do...

--Pat Kight
[email protected]

1.  Identify the 6 main types of female sexual dysfunction; 
2.  Understand both the physical and the psychological etiologies for those disorders, and their implications for treatment
3.  Detail the key points to be made in counseling patients experiencing sexual dysfunction; and 
4.  Describe the basic treatment protocols for each dysfunction.

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