ROFL!

Especially if the woman in question has had a multi-story house before the fog set in, because there are a lot of behaviours based on remembering that x, y, and z ought to be done while one is in the basement, after which one takes a and b up to the first floor, puts them away, collects c and d and takes them on up to the second floor, and then takes l, m, n, and p downstairs the next time.

Fog completely bollixes up this kind of habit.  I'm where?  I wanted what?  Why did I put Lydy's socks on the upstairs couch?  Where are my socks?  Whose sheets are these?  Where is the bucket for carrying dishes to and from the lone dishwasher on the first floor?  Are these spoons clean or dirty?  Did I start the dryer?  Where is the Nero Wolfe book I think I'm reading as opposed to the six previous ones? Why is my checkbook on the attic staircase?  Why is my jacket in my bedroom?  If that's so, where *are* the new buttons to be sewn on? Where is the hose to the vacuum cleaner?  Why is a stack of David's T-shirts on my bed?  Why are my garden clogs upstairs and my slippers in the downstairs bathroom?  Who is my cat?  Who am I? 
Pamela Dean Dyer-Bennet

ROFL redux! You'd think spending eight hours a day in an 8-foot-by-11-foot office would help reduce this sort of thing, but no:

Where did I set my keys? What happened to that report I was editing? Why am I standing in front of the file cabinet -- and how did my grocery list wind up in the "printing guidelines" file? Didn't I have that information on a PostIt note? Which of the three-dozen PostIt notes stuck to my computer monitor would that be? Uh-oh ... wasn't I supposed to meet somebody someplace half an hour ago? I wonder who? I wonder where? If I could find my Day-Timer, maybe I'd remember ... if I remembered to write it down. Is that my phone or Sandy's? How the heck do I forward a call to voice mail, anyway? Oh, look - my keys are in my coffee mug! How did they get there? Who am I?

--Pat Kight [email protected]

I mind more having forgotten to put a couple of scenes into my book. 

I'm sitting here waiting for the CIA to cart me away. 

She had put on one high heeled shoe and one flat!  (Now, that was some major fog--seems like she would have staggered or something!) 

I told her, "Just hold your head up and act like you did it on purpose!  Maybe you'll start a trend!" 

She just frowned.  "Don't expect me to walk up the aisle for communion," she said. 

I reported the theft to the police.  Meanwhile, I had to go out of town for a week.  After about 10 days, the police called to say they found my car and told me where to pick it up, that it wasn't damaged, about having to pay the towing charges, etc. 

When asked where it was found, they said, "At Mister Donut".  The tow truck driver said, "It was parked there neat as can be with snow on it." 

Mister Donut is located directly across the street from the office.  I must have stopped there in the morning for coffee rather than my usual MO of going into work, parking in that lot, and walking across the street. I must have parked my car at the donut shop and then walked across the street to work. To this day, I have *no* recollection of doing this.  But the facts certainly point to the obvious!! 

BTW, I was only 30 at the time.  It's been downhill ever since. My mind has been "foggy" for 16 years!  LOL 

The day our first son was born, my husband went to get our car and found *it* stolen so he set off to  walk to the Police station to report it. On the way there he had to pass the cinema where he'd been the night before to watch The Magnificent Seven to take his mind off things, and there in the street was the car, complete with a note from the police saying "We have turned off your lights, but please lock 
your car." 

So brain fog is brought on by the female hormonal changes of meno is it? It looks less and less like it to me! Why, it's not even a midlife happening!

>From Terri 
My favorite story on myself is the time my husband and I changed cars for whatever reason. His was black European; mine was blue American. I came out of the store, went over to a small blue American car and tried to open the door, cursing under my breath when the door wouldn't open. With a minute or two a gentleman offered assistance and when I said I couldn't get the door open, he replied in a frosty voice,"That's because it's my car." "Mine looks exactly the same," I hastily said, picking up my purchases.  Reality sank in, and I walked over to  the black European car, carefully watched by the gentleman whose car I had tried to steal, opened the door, got in and drove off. I spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the cops to arrive. 

Thursday I went shopping for groceries.  When I got into the driveway at home, I was struck with horror because I could not remember if I had put the groceries into the trunk of the car.  I could imagine my full cart sitting in the store parking lot.  I tentatively pulled the trunk lid lever and went back to check. I was relieved to find the groceries sitting in the trunk.  But, considering the gas station problems, it was a close call.  I went in the house and took a Gingko Biloba. 

Also from karenm 
Sometimes it is real hard to describe.  I forget names in the middle of conversations (very embarrassing) and forget to do things.  I have gotten to work and realized I forgot my lunch.  I now put my car keys in the fridge with my lunch.  LOL  If I think of something I need to do at home while at work or there is something I need to bring the next day, I call home and leave a message on the machine telling me what to do or bring.  Sometimes I think people think I am nuts but don't know how else to handle it.  Some days I am very lucid so they know it isn't perm.   LOL. 

This is why these anecdotes are so healing for me to read.  I have laughed til I cried as I read them.  Very poignant!  And just knowing others are doing these things helps immeasurably. 

Maybe we are talking about different things then. During my brain fog stage, I couldn't concentrate on anything. It was like trying to use pincers to pick up a dime hidden in a mound of cotton wool. It was very easy for me to make my mind blank during this period, but very difficult to do anything that required any concentration. I was relieved when it was over. 
Karen

I USED to have a VERY organized and compartmentalized mind, and could handle many tasks at one time.  I admit, I got bored very easily and COULD NOT focus on one task completely for a *prolonged* period of time, but still got many things accomplished because I could go back to what I was doing five minutes before and take up.  And I could REMEMBER what I was doing!  Now I find that I am compensating in that I have to focus on only one thing at a time or I drive myself bananas! 

         Actually this "lack of concentration" can be a different form of  concentration. It means that we can no longer "sleep walk" our way through life juggling all sorts of things at the same time. Instead we are asked to fully concentrate on the here and now ...or else. ;-) I liken it to a Japanese Tea Ceremony where each tiny, tiny little act is approached with a total reverence for the moment. 
Shelly

Thanks for that Shelly, 
I think you have the right idea. I've been seeing a career counselor because I've also been unhappy in my work and she has got me setting new goals which has made me focus more on important things. The first thing she did was get me to set goals to balance all the parts of my life. Some of the exercises she got me to do were real eye openers. If I start to feel down now I just think about these goals and what I am trying to accomplish and it sets me up again. I find it is a slower more concentrated effort. The process is more important than the result. 
Catherine

Tips for coping

I will admit...here and now...I don't get much of what some people are saying the first time around. I have already explained that I'm  having a very HARD time with this damn foggy brain. Then, when I ask for  an explanation, or make a remark...you know...taking a chance...most  times...I'm still in a fog. It is very insulting and hurtful, when I can't  keep a damn thing in my hand. Some days..I can't comprehend anything. It is  as if the words I read...float around in my head....and then float away.  Before they even register."gs" 

I did nothing to bring on the fogginess AFAIK and I did nothing to facilitate the lifting of the fog ..... but one day (last autumn/fall) I just picked up a book and I could read it !!!  Hurrah  :-)  My ability to concentrate somewhat returned, and then I noticed that my memory was rather better ..... Happy Day.  I was still a bit rusty (the fog had lasted in varying degrees for a couple of years), so I've been trying to sharpen up my brain a bit since then and my thinking still isn't as focused or fast as it was, but it's getting better all the time.

I think this menofog is one of those horrible phases that many of us go through in peri or meno (though maybe it's a midlife thing ?  I don't know) but, whilst it's ghastly and scary at the time, there's plenty of room for optimism about the fog lifting for you.

Whilst it's still going on for you though, we could trade coping techniques if you like.  First few that immediately spring to mind from my personal experience are:

• even more than ever, presume everyone else is innocent until you can prove otherwise.  If people don't phone it's probably because *you* said *you'd* phone *them*.  If someone doesn't turn up for a meeting, it's probably 'cos you're there at the wrong time.  If someone forgets your birthday, it's probably because that's not 'till *next* month.  (etc!)
• post-it notes are your friend as long as you can remember where you put them.  Lists are vital as long as they're left in prominent places where you might eventually come across them again.
• if you're a computer recycle-bin snob (as I was), rethink.  I used to curse Mr Gates every time his "do you really want to delete this" message came up, and then mutter even more when I had to delete it again by emptying the recycle bin.  When in full menofog I think I eventually set my recycle bin to about a third of the hard disk size .... I was forever finding stuff in there that I hadn't meant to get rid of (I found our entire personal finances software and data in there once).
• if you can, extra sets of keys and extra pairs of glasses are handy to have around.  You'll lose them all eventually but you have some chance of re-finding a set/pair you lost ages ago if you have enough of them to lose on a vague rota basis.
Yes! I have hooked/pinned sets of house keys to the inside of every purse, briefcase, and backpack I own (fortunately, that's not many). I also have one pair of dark-framed spectacles --the last prescription, as a matter of fact --that I'm religious about putting in one pllace only. When I can't find my real glasses, I put those on and go hunting again. It is *very hard* to find misplaced glasses when you can't see them. (Laura)
Have you done the wild search for your glasses only to find you're actually wearing them?  I still do that quite a lot.

Within an hour of having posted that I was doing pretty well with my menofog these days, I gaily picked up a small bundle of clothes to put in the laundry basket and dumped 'em straight in the kitchen rubbish bin.  Husband found them later when he was emptying the teapot. Small sigh. (Silver)
 

• stop trying to be everyone else's memory-jogger, you'll only fail.  If someone else has a meeting/event/task  don't take it upon yourself to be responsible to remind them .... that's their problem
• try not to sweat the small stuff.  OK so it's irritating that you can't remember the name of the actress who was in that film with whotshisname, you know the one about boats or was it a train ....... I know it's annoying but it's hardly worth having a nervous breakdown over.

   I'd only add that this is one of those "embrace the pain" areas that I've somehow managed to turn quasi-positive. I figure an occasional foggy day is a vacation for my brain (and just pray it doesn't come when I'm up against a deadline at work). Somehow looking at it this way has allowed me to laugh at peculiarities that might otherwise make me cry
.--Pat Kight

---

Memory problems are associated with stress and aging. 

My advice is one notebook. I have notebooks at work that I write down what I did and what I need to do (on opposing pages). I have two different notebooks, one for projects on which I am the lead, and one for projects on which I am not the lead. 

  I have another notebook for Life Stuff. I would be lost without this notebook. I use the right-hand page for stuff that needs to be accomplished during the day at work (and I try to limit this to three items). I also keep track of where I am in my allergy shots (after 40 shots, I can go only once/week) and where I am in my Pilates sessions (after 12 more sessions I have to give them money again). I use the left-hand page for other stuff I need to do, such as laundry. I also keep a running grocery shopping list and a running Walmart/Target/Home Depot shopping list, and a running list of personal e-mail I owe. 

One day's worth is a spread of these two pages. Anything not accomplished that day gets recopied to the next. I hate doing this, so it's a real motivator to make my to-do lists realistic. I keep a list of pertinent phone numbers in the back of the notebook (like my realtor--I don't really want to put him into my cell phone), and a list of tasks I will want to do but am not ready to allot time to yet on the page preceding that. 

I use a plastic flag to mark the current day. (Like editors use to mark pages--I always have these lying around.) I use a clip to clip all past days together, and any papers I may need to have with me that day.   I live by this book. It helps keep me focused, and it helps me to remember things. I carry it with me all day every day, so I can jot stuff down as I remember. (It has it's own pen stuck into the spiral.) 
(anon)

 This is brilliant. And I may steal it. But ...  Dare I ask: Have you ever misplaced the notebook?

It's 9.5"x7.25". It's big enough that it doesn't fit in a purse or a pocket, which means that I always know if I have it. They are about a buck and a half at Walmart and *extremely* durable. The back is sturdy cardboard so you can use the notebook as a real writing surface. I use the large margins for my lists.

 --Pat Kight
 who thinks this would be like losing your *life*...

I think it's a useful tool because a) everything is in one place. (I wrote my oil change in it, so I know where I got it done.) And b) you spend some time copying stuff over and over, which acts as an incentive to i) get it done and ii) remember to get it done.