NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
CHAPTER 2
Is this what breaking down feels like? Your whole body numb,no feeling except the pain that flowed through my heart. What was the pain that I would have to feel,the rest of my life? I stood up,my knees are weak,I stumble to get my balance. I need out. I can't take this anymore. The room is getting smaller in my mind, I can't breath. I gasp for each breath I take in. I need out,please god, take me out of here. I fight to keep composure.
Couple more steps till the door,you can do it,come on. I'm almost there. One more step, then I feel someone grabing my shirt,forcefully. I turned my body to meet the gaze that Kevin had shown me yet again. My eyes questioned his anger at me. His eyes showed hatred. His bright green eyes,were dark grey. "Where you going?" His voice was angry,horse. I hadn't spoken for hours,days maybe,I fought to speak. Tears threathend to fall from my eyes, the only thing to come into mind, was the truth, "I can't stay here, Kev, I just can't, I need ou,t" My voice was little, like a little boy,who was scared. I turned to leave again, but was yanked by the bottom of my shirt again. "You can't leave," he said,trying to keep his voice down,but his voice was angry. " I need out, Kev, please just leave me be." I was trying to keep my composure,but it was hard. I turned to leave for the third time,but was yanked more roughly, again by a very upset Kevin. "You can't, we're going to be able to see him soon,you can't leave, do you hear me?" He asked, his voice rising. At that point, trying to keep composure left my mind, anger building up inside of me. Anger that I had to let go of.
"Go see him!" I yelled, causing everyone to turn there heads,looking at me and my little outbrust. "Why, Kevin, why go see him, you know what the stupid doctor said, he's just going to die anyway,what's the point," I screamed at him. I heard the room fill up with gasps from everyone. "Nick..." Kevin and Howie started,but I cut them off. "Don't, just don't," I stormed out of the room, heading down the hallway of the hospital. I reached the front doors, walking outside,smelling the fresh air, that surrounded me.Had I meant it? All those things. I don't know. I was mad,mad at Kevin, mad at Brian, mad Howie, mad at A.J., mad at god,mad at the world,but most of all mad at myself.
