Later that night, Lee and Amanda ascended the stairs to their room together for the first time in months. Lee could count, on one hand, the number of nights he’d spent in this room with his wife. He still found it hard to believe that he would never again be forced to sleep apart from her to hide their marriage from their family. The sense of freedom he felt was amazing and it made the trip upstairs seem like he was floating over the risers, not treading on them.

His thoughts were full of Amanda and the boys and all the things that they could now do as a family. All the things he had missed out on when their marriage was a secret; all the things that had helped him to keep his mind occupied during his captivity. He couldn’t recall much of that time, but what he could remember were the brief moments of lucidity and how he’d spent them thinking of what was waiting on him at home.

Stopping to say goodnight to Phillip and Jamie, Lee thought of the simplicity of this act and how nice it felt to him. Turning to follow Amanda to their room, he saw her shaking her head and grinning up at him. “What?” He asked, bewildered. He hadn’t realized that his utter contentment shone through.

“You.” She grinned even bigger as she held the door open then followed him inside.

Stepping past her, he surveyed their room. He had no idea that the smile on his face got even larger. Hearing her chuckle then laugh outright, he turned. “Is there something amusing in the way I enter a room?”

Serious again, Amanda shook her head.

Lee watched her advance toward him, stopping in front of him and placing her hands on his chest. Her eyes still twinkled with traces of her amusement and he grasped her waist and pulled her closer. He watched as the amusement disappeared and the twinkle changed to something more. “Now, would you like to tell me what was so funny, or do I have to pull it out of you, bit by bit?”

“Well, that sounds like it might be interesting, Scarecrow. Let’s try it your way first and see how you do….” Her voice was husky and Lee felt himself responding.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. Her warm breath feathered over his face as she exhaled slightly and he pushed forward, settling his lips more firmly onto hers. When she stepped deeper into his embrace, he felt her body mold against his, her curves meeting his harder, flatter planes in all the right places. They fit together perfectly, just as they always had.

Shifting his hands higher, from her waist up to her slim back and shoulders, he pulled her shirt up and out of his way at the same time. His fingers felt warm, soft flesh over quivering muscles and he felt her sudden gasp against his lips at the sensation he’d elicited. Lifting his mouth from hers, he studied her briefly. The slightly dazed expression and panting breaths showed him she was as affected as he. Kissing her hard once more, he then proceeded to explore her back and shoulders.

His hands roamed the familiar yet newly re-discovered territory. Finding the clasp of her bra, he unhooked it easily and brushed it aside. Her skin felt like the softest velvet and he felt his own breath quicken in reaction to it. He inhaled her scent, her hair and body softly touched by hints of jasmine and musk. He found himself fighting an overwhelming desire to bury himself in her, his heart in her heart, his soul in her soul. And God, his body suddenly longed to lose itself with hers. He wanted to immerse himself in her love and forget that they had ever been separated. He longed to completely obliterate the last weeks and what they represented.

‘What the last weeks represented….’ The meaning of his own thoughts suddenly slammed into him and he stilled his hands, physically and mentally stepping away from the woman in his arms.

Lee saw Amanda look up, confusion and desire equally evident on her face. He swallowed and sighed deeply. Letting his head fall back, he stared at the ceiling for a time. Finally he spoke, “Amanda, I’m sorry. I forgot. I haven’t been cleared, medically.”

“You’re right. You’re in no shape for this. I should have thought of that myself.” She shrugged and turned away.

He cursed under his breath and followed her across the room. Grabbing her shoulders, he spun her around to face him. “That is not what I meant. I mean, that all the tests haven’t come back yet. We know I haven’t been given any new biological or chemical agent, but I don’t remember by whom or how a lot of these were given to me.” He held out arms that still revealed bruises and tracks from numerous injections. His voice betrayed untold bitterness at the position they were in. “I will not take the chance of… infecting you… with anything… Not until I know for sure.” Even now, his heart beat more rapidly as he thought of how close he came to doing just that, taking a chance with his wife, his life. His eyes locked with hers and begged her to understand.

Amanda nodded and wiped at the frustrated tears that had sprung to her eyes. “Oh, Lee, when is it going to end? I thought we were close, so close to being what we’ve dreamed of…”

“It is close and it is going to happen, Amanda Stetson! I promise. Just not until we can be sure, be safe.” He grabbed her and crushed her to his chest, his arms streaked around her ribs and squeezed tightly.

Her sudden, not so hidden, yelp of pain was not what he expected to hear. Pulling away from her, he rapidly looked at her face and saw the pain quickly being concealed. “What?! Amanda, what is it?”

“Nothing, Lee. I’m fine.” She shook her head and attempted to turn away from him.

“No way, you never let me get by with that and I’m not going to let you get by with it either, no matter how much of a hot shot you’ve become. Where are you hurt and what happened?” Even as he spoke, he was busy, unbuttoning her blouse and pulling it and the already loosened bra away from her upper torso. Determined to ignore the more interesting sights, he focused instead on finding the source of her gasp of pain.

It didn’t take long until he saw the spreading purple and black bruise extending over her ribcage. He ran his hands expertly over the bruises and found no broken bones underneath. Still, from experience he knew that this had to hurt like hell and he raged in silence at the person who had done this and at himself for not being able to stop it, for not being with her, as her partner.

“Who did this? The guy from the interrogation?” Lee demanded.

Amanda shook her head, “No, his partner.” She smirked just a bit. “He hasn’t made it to interrogation, yet. Took a side trip to the infirmary.”

Lee grinned with her, his Amanda, who wasn’t quite his Amanda. But then, sometimes he wondered if he was still the same Scarecrow. Shaking these thoughts from his head, he decided that maybe it was best to just carry on, as they were now, not as they had been. Their love was still strong and that was enough.

With that decision in his mind, he helped her into her nightclothes and settled her into bed, before climbing in, fatigued himself. His head ached and his thoughts were starting to jumble. His legs felt like he’d run a marathon as he turned to curl around Amanda’s back. ‘We’ve had a busy day. Tomorrow is soon enough worry about the rest, isn’t it?’

He fell into an exhausted sleep.

*****

The clacking and whirring grew louder and louder until he could no longer hear his own breathing or heartbeat. His breathing and his heartbeat were all he had heard for days. Now this incessant noise and that voice, that voice that knew things it shouldn’t.

He struggled against the harsh, metal cuffs on his wrists. The sharp edges bit into his skin, yet he paid no heed. The voice had to stop. He had to get free and make the voice stop. Secrets, all the secrets were being told. Things that could ruin the lives of millions, put them in danger, were being bandied about like household gossip.

Scarecrow fought to open his eyes to see who was telling, who was talking out of turn. There was only darkness, inky, black darkness that suffocated and refused to allow him to see, to move, to do anything. The voice whispered now, he strained to hear what it was saying. “ ‘Silverstone’. ” The voice continued, “ ‘Operation Silverstone’ is what you want. It’s the biggest thing going right now.”

Scarecrow’s thoughts whirled as he heard this. Who could be telling about Silverstone? Only their best, top operatives were involved. They wouldn’t break. He fought against the restraints again. “Have to stop them. Must stop the voice…”

He felt momentary satisfaction as the voice slowed then halted. He’d done it. He’d stopped the voice. He relaxed infinitesimally. ‘Silverstone’ was safe for now. Suddenly he felt the sharp stinging of a needle against his inner arm and felt the blackness come back for him. He fought, he knew it was useless, but still he fought….

Lee awoke, drenched in cold sweat and breathing harshly. He shook all over. A voice called to him over and over.

“Lee? Lee, can you hear me?”

Amanda. It was Amanda, not the voice…

“Lee, answer me.”

A light snapped on and vanquished the darkness. He looked at his wife and felt the dream began to flee. She stroked his hair away from his face and stared in concern at him.

“Hey, you with me now?” She smiled and waited for his response.

“Yeah, I’m with you, always…” Turning into her arms, he breathed in her scent. “Just don’t turn the light off yet, okay?”