When he remained quiet and didn’t interrupt her tale, she seemed to unwind and breathe easier. His apparent acceptance of who she had become, helped her explain just exactly how she got there. Lee listened, trembling inside, with anger at the world that had put them in this situation. His anger grew as she told him how she had holed up in his apartment, trying to deal with her grief and anger. How first Billy, then Francine had tried to get through only to be rebuffed.

Finally, he was being told everything, including the night Billy came to her with his wedding band and how he had tried to comfort her over the loss of her partner. Lee couldn’t believe that he was hearing Amanda tell him that she had actually considered not going back to the agency. He listened with incredulity as she explained how she had questioned herself about her future. Could she continue at the Agency without him? Did she even want to try?

As she told him of her worries over whether she still belonged in the intelligence community, he grinned and nodded. Obviously, if this afternoon’s display was any indication, she had made the right decision. She’d coped and handled herself well… his anger dissipated as he absorbed that fact.

By the time they pulled into the drive, she had told him about going to Billy and demanding the Advanced Training Course. Winding up her tale, she put the truck into park, turned off the engine and finally faced him. “So, I took the course, came back to work and well, I just did my job.” He watched her shrug and shook his head at her dismissal of her own new status.

Before he could question how easily she dismissed her own actions, she was exiting the truck, and coming around to assist him from his seat. Moving mush easier this time having rested up from his earlier experience at the Agency, Lee managed to get down and around the truck door before she could get to him. He grinned and told her, “I’m getting better, see?” Reaching for her, he pulled her into his embrace.

“Yeah, I see, big fella. Let’s get you in and settled. Mother and the boys will be back soon. When I told them you were with me, they went on to the school for ball practice.”

“Will you stay with me? I want…I need to know the rest.” They had walked together up to the back door and were now standing in the kitchen.

“The rest?” She casually asked peering over her shoulder as she reached into the fridge for the milk to go with the cookies Lee was already munching on.

“The rest, Amanda. The boys mentioned that you were having lots of accidents. They told me that when you explained about the Agency, they figured that you were getting hurt in the field. They said you had car wrecks, that you broke several ribs once, and they suspected a stab wound at one point.” Growing agitated at her cavalier attitude, he reached for her arms and forced her to look at him.

“Lee! You know as well as I do, that this isn’t the safest job. There are certain risks involved when you have to take the offensive with a perpetrator…”

The words coming out of her mouth didn’t even sound like his Amanda. ‘Risks, offensive, perpetrator’ “Yeah, but you were never a risk taker. You didn’t attack unless you had to. You said, you were the brain and I was….”

“The brawn, yes, I remember. But you weren’t there anymore. I was alone and I had to find some way to prove to myself, to Mr. Melrose and to Francine…” Angrily, she freed herself from his grasp and whirled away from him.

Her anger slammed into him like gale force winds. Striving to grasp what she was trying to tell him, he absorbed her anger then walked to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Kneading the tight muscles softly, he leaned his forehead against her curls. “Prove what, Amanda? You were already a damn good agent.”

For long minutes, he thought she wasn’t going to answer. She held herself stiff in his arms and refused to let him comfort her in any way. He persevered and refused to leave her alone in her anger and grief. Somehow, he sensed that she had been left alone too long. Running his hands down her arms and nuzzling his face into her neck, he brushed a light kiss over her skin and almost missed her whispered answer.

“I let you go…. I just let him take you and did nothing to stop him. I froze when I saw the gun so close to you and I just let him take you away…” Finally, he felt her lose her stiff composure and slump into his chest. “I let you go… I let you die.”

“No, Amanda, no. I didn’t die. I’m right here. I thought we settled this, days ago. There was nothing you could have done to stop this from happening. You can’t blame yourself. You had nothing to prove then and nothing to prove now.” Turning her in his arms, he looked into her eyes and said it again. “You were not to blame and you had nothing to prove.”

“Yes, I did. I had to prove to you and to me that the time and effort you put into my training wasn’t wasted. I had to show the Agency that I could still do it, on my own…. That you taught me well enough that I could do it on my own.” She dashed the tears from her eyes and drew in a shuddering breath.

“No one who knows you could ever doubt that you had the ability to do whatever you put your mind to, Amanda.” He leaned down and stared straight into her eyes.

“I did.” Again the words were barely a whisper.

“I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. I hate the thought of what you were feeling.”

“That’s just it, Lee. By that time, I wasn’t feeling, at all. I came back from that class and I just sort of buried myself in the work and the Agency.” She looked very uncomfortable in her own skin and Lee suddenly understood.

“So you took ‘certain risks’ and you did a fine job of it, too.” Lee pulled her small frame to him and wondered what scars he would eventually discover and if he would be strong enough to handle them as graciously as she had always handled his.

“Looking back now, I shudder to think of some of the stunts I pulled off. I don’t think I cared. Without you, it just didn’t matter.” She smiled at him as he pulled her over to a framed picture of Dotty and the boys.

“It always matters, Amanda. They needed you then and they always will and so do I.” He paused to look deep into her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She leaned against him and stretched up to kiss him fully on the mouth. Accepting her gesture, he returned her kiss until they were each out of breath. Emotions were high and as Dotty and the boys were due home anytime, they pulled away and composed themselves.

Deciding that a lighter tone was needed for now, Lee attempted to ease the conversation to less dangerous territory. “So you took the ATC and partnered up with Francine?” Lee shook his head over the oddity of that pairing. But then again, it was no stranger than Scarecrow and a housewife.

Amanda gave a short laugh and nodded, “Odd, huh? It was Mr. Melrose’s idea actually. And strangely enough, it works. We work well together and we DO have a rather impressive track record.”

“Yeah, so I heard. But don’t get to comfortable in that role, Mrs. Stetson. I am coming back to work you know. And I want my old partner back.” He lectured her in a teasing voice.

“Well, Mr. Stetson, I think that can be arranged…” They leaned in for another kiss only to jump apart at the next sound they heard.

“Would you two like to explain something else to the rest of us, please, Mr. and Mrs. Stetson?” Dotty, Phillip and Jamie stood in the hall, staring in fascination as yet another secret was revealed.

Sharing baffled looks, Lee and Amanda each began to stutter. “Uh, well, you see…”

“Mother, we sort of…”

Dotty chuckled under her breath at their confusion. They’d had her life in turmoil for months. It was nice to see them looking for answers for once. “Uh huh…you sort of what?” She gave them her best stern look. “Got married?”

Knowing they were beat, they shrugged and answered together, “Yes” “Yes, ma’am”

Jamie and Phillip let out howls of delight and started to taunt each other. “I told you so.” “Nuh uh, I told you.”

Bemused, Dotty laughed and hugged Lee and then Amanda. “It’s about time.”

Amanda stared at her family. They were now calm and staring at her in return. “Is that all? Just ‘It’s about time’ and ‘I told you so’

Lee finally piped up, “Are you two sure you’re okay with this?” He aimed the query at Phillip and Jamie.

“Lee, dude, in the past 3 months we’ve been told you were dead, that you were a spy, that you weren’t dead and that Mom is a spy, too… This is nothing.” Phillip stared at the two adults as if they were daft.

Dotty shrugged and followed the boys up the stairs. “It’s nothing, dude…”

Alone again, Lee and Amanda sagged onto the sofa to think about what had just transpired. Lee saw her look at him sideways just before she asked, “So, Lee, were we worried about telling them?”

Lee had the grace to look thoughtful for a full 15 seconds before glibly answering, “Worried? Nah, not me…”

“So when do we tell then that we’ve been married for nearly a year now?” Amanda teased him.

“Amaaanda….” Groaning, he pulled her into a tight squeeze and hushed her impertinent mouth with a deep kiss.