As I sit in the back lounge of the empty bus looking around, I can�t help but think how surreal my life has become. A month ago I was your typical college student, living in a cramped dorm room with 2 girls that less than liked me, and working in a fancy coffee shop that charged $7 for a latte but only paid its employee�s minimum wage�barely. And now here I sit�on a tour bus, waiting to meet my new employers. It�s too early to be awake. I really shouldn�t have went out to the clubs last night. My head is pounding, my stomach is in knots, and I�m beginning to have second thoughts about having taken this job. Everything has happened so fast. Steve, a guy I know from one of the clubs I frequent, called me up one day and asked if I�d like a job touring the country with a band. He didn�t tell me what I would be doing, who the band was or what type of music they played�but I accepted the job anyway.
All I can think about is how my parents are gonna kill me when they find out that I dropped out of college this semester to ride around the country on a tour bus with 4 guys�alone. God, I hope they aren�t murderers or rapists�or even worse�rappers. Now that I think about it, that�s exactly why I took the job�to piss my parents off. Although being able to travel around the country will be a plus.
I�m crazy, I shouldn�t be here. I should be back in my dorm room asleep. I�m usually not the kind of girl who just packs up and leaves to go ride around the country with strangers. I should go.
I stood up to get my stuff and leave when I heard people getting on the bus. Shit. It�s too late now. Wait ago genius. Now you�re stuck. I grabbed my black Atticus hoodie and threw it on over my fitted green Hurley t-shirt. I don�t want any of these creeps ogling me now do I.
I walked to the front of the bus, unnoticed, and surveyed the group of people lounging around. There were 2 guys and a girl sitting at the booth/table on my left. One of the two men had his back turned towards me, so I couldn�t see his face. All I could tell was that he had bright pink hair with black leopard print type spots. How hardcore�(note the sarcasm). Across from him sat a guy with normal dark brown colored hair. He had it styled in a type of Mohawk, or a Faux-hawk�whatever you want to call it. His arm was around the girl sitting next to him. She had chin length medium brown hair that was flipped out at the ends. She was wearing a fitted t-shirt and a skirt. She was the epitome of all that was preppy�everything I wasn�t. On the couch to my right there were two more men seated, each with a girl beside them. The skinnier of the two men had very dark hair with red streaks. He had on red eyeliner that matched his hair exactly. I wonder how he gets his eyeliner to be so perfect? (Note to self: get make-up tips from the skinny one). His hands were intertwined with the blonde�s next to him. Her hair was long and curled at the ends. Like the girl seated at the table, she too wore a fitted shirt and a skirt�yet another prep. The other guy on the couch was chubbier than the rest. He actually looked like he ate the occasional meal. His hair was two-toned. Half bleach blonde, half black. He was the only one out of the 4 men that looked semi-normal, and I use the term normal very loosely. Mr. Half-way-normal�s hand was rubbing the thigh of the long haired brunette, who�s head was rested on his shoulder. She was dressed similar to the other two girls. Surprise. Surprise. I laughed quietly to myself about the drastic differences in appearance between the men and the women. I couldn�t be more amused if Marilyn Manson were dating Britney Spears.
The pink-haired one must have heard me cause he turned around and looked at me.
�You must be the new assistant,� he smiled.
Is that what I am? The assistant? I�m a glorified bitch! Great. Thanks Steve.
I returned his smile. �If that�s what Steve hired me for. He wasn�t all that informative when I took the job.�
�I�m Benji,� he said walking towards me with his hand extended. �That�s my brother Joel and those two are Billy and Paul.�
I shook his hand. �Amy.�
I looked over to one of the preppies on the couch waiting to be introduced.
�I�m Lacie,� the longhaired brunette that the halfway normal guy�(Paul�that�s his name), was sitting next to. ��the blonde is Erin and that�s Marissa.�
The other two girls smiled politely at me. They were happy�almost a little too happy. It should be illegal for normal, sober people to smile that much. And their names�Lacie, Erin, and Marissa�they just screamed �look I�m a prep�. Well at least they weren�t named Candy, or Muffin. �Cause then I would definitely have to puke.
�Nice to meet you.� I somehow managed to show a smile of my own. God, how I hope they�re not coming with us.
�Steve has told us all about you.� Marissa, the one seated at the booth stated.
Joel, the faux-hawk dude, gave his girlfriend a slightly confused look. I have to admit, I share his confusion. Steve didn�t tell me about the guys I would be touring with and it was obvious that he didn�t bother to tell the guys about me either. So why in the hell would their girlfriends know so much about me?
�I wish I could say the same, but as I said before Steve really hasn�t told me much at all.�
�Don�t feel bad, all he told us was that we were going to have a personal assistant this tour.� Benji informed me.
I raised my eyebrow, still slightly confused about everyone�s (except for the preppies) lack of information.
�You�ve never had an assistant before?�
All 4 boys shook their heads.
�Never needed one before. Erin, Marissa, and Lacie have always toured with us.� Benji answered.
Two men stepped on the bus. One of them looked to be in his 50�s and had thick salt and pepper hair. He sat down behind the wheel and started the engine. The other was probably in his mid to late 20�s, with short�almost shaved brown hair. It was Steve, the guy who hired me. He didn�t look happy at all.
�Say your good-bye�s girls, we�re about to leave.�
He mustn�t have seen me because he turned quickly and stepped off the bus.
The 3 couples didn�t move. Benji raised an eyebrow and shifted his weight from one foot to the other impatiently. �You heard Steve�lets go.� He instructed the group.
The 3 men stood and pulled their girlfriends into hugs and promised them that they would talk on the phone everyday. I rolled my eyes at the nauseating sight of the 6 swapping spit with each other. Apparently Benji must seen me because he made a fake retching sound like he was gonna vomit. We both shared a laugh, but the rest of the group didn�t find it as funny as we did. As the girls were being herded off the bus Lacie (paul�s girlfriend) slipped me a piece of paper with 3 numbers written on it.
�If any of them are anything less than faithful to us on this tour�call one of us immediately.�
I narrowed my eyes and let a slight smile appear. �Of course.�
Once all three girls were gone, the driver put the bus in gear and began moving.
Each of the four men sat down in the same places they were before. Benji motioned for me to sit beside him in the booth. Everyone was silent. No one knew what to say. I quietly laughed to myself to break the silence in my head.
Joel looked up at me. �What�s so funny?�
Is he kidding? I mean he�s the one dating the fake preppie girl that he would never be able to get with in a million years if he weren�t in a band�and he�s asking me what�s funny.
�The fact that I�m sitting on a bus with 4 guys that I don�t know, and I accepted a job with out knowing the full details of it.�
�Not to mention your girlfriends seem to know more about her than we do.� Benji chimed in.
Paul looked up from the cell phone he was playing with. �Yeah what�s up with that? I mean Steve only mentioned briefly that we were gonna have an assistant�but he tells our girlfriends all about Amy.�
I thought about it for a second. Somehow hearing Paul review the situation made something click in my head. I finally understood everything.
�Sneaky little bitches.�
I got 4 confused looks from the guys. Obviously they didn�t catch on as quickly as I did. I had to laugh at their clueless-ness.
�Which one of the Mattel triplets caused the drama last tour?�
Benji almost spit out his drink when I mentioned the Mattel triplets. Joel, Billy, and Paul didn�t find it funny at all. But honestly what a better nickname for their three girlfriends. All of them were fake just like the Barbie dolls that Mattel makes.
�The better question is which one didn�t.� Benji leaned into me and whispered in my ear.
I liked this guy�he was funny and sarcastic. He almost reminded me of a male version of myself. I could see us developing a good friendship.
Billy gave me a dirty look. �None of them cause drama.�
Yeah�and I�m the queen of England. All that red dye must have soaked into his brain, cause he�s delusional.
�Whatever.� I rolled my eyes. �We�ll pretend for a second that all of your girlfriends are trusting individuals who never get jealous when you talk to female fans or groupies��
Joel interrupted me. �But they do trust us and they aren�t the jealous types.�
Ok. Maybe I was wrong about the dye soaking into Billy�s brain, cause Joel was delusional too. Maybe their drug dealer gave them some bad shit.
I pulled the piece of paper out of my hoodie pocket and held it up so everyone could see the numbers written on it. �Of course they trust you. They just gave me their cell numbers strictly for emergency purposes.�
Paul, Billy, and Joel looked at each other.
�It�s obvious to me that your girlfriends aren�t allowed on tour for some reason or another. Without them you have no one to wait on you hand and foot so you need a personal assistant. When they found out Steve was hiring a girl for the position they probably drilled him for information about me. I can�t blame them though. I wouldn�t want my boyfriend all alone on a bus with a girl I didn�t know.� I explained.
Benji smirked. �Not that I�m disagreeing with you, because believe me I know that the Mattel Triplets are the jealous types�but if what you say is true, then why would they not have a problem with you being our assistant?�
�Because Steve probably told them whatever they needed to hear about me to make them alright with the situation. Like I have a boyfriend or I�m a lesbian. Plus after they saw me they probably realized I�m not any of your types anyway, so now they know they have nothing to worry about.�
I looked over at Benji and he looked extremely confused. I guess I wasn�t the only one who noticed cause the other 3 guys started laughing at his expression.
Playfully I smacked his cheek a few times. �No boyfriend, not a lesbian. I assure you I very much like dick.� I stood up shoved my hands in my hoodie pocket. �Well, now that we have all that cleared up if you don�t mind I�m gonna go take a nap. I had a very late night last night.�
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