BAGHDAD, IRAQ�In a drastic turn in the search for Saddam�s hidden Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs), General Tommy Franks has deployed famed Disney sleuth Darkwing Duck to root out the elusive devices.
�I am the terror that flaps in the night!� declared the newest soldier in the War on Terrorism. �I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares! I am Darkwing Duck!�
Darkwing and his comrades Launchpad and Gostlin will be flying around Iraq in their trusty jet while gathering clues as to the location of the WMDs and their guardian.
�Launchpad suggests that this is Quackerjack�s doing,� Darkwing informed the press in his daily update. �This would explain the randomness of the hiding places. But I don�t think so. I think we�re dealing with someone more crafty, like a Megavolt or a Negaduck. But no matter! I, Darkwing Duck, will bring this case to a close before any of these dastardly weapons are used against an unwitting public!�
Darkwing is soon to be joined in his quest by Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, the twin detectives. �We�ll solve any crime by suppertime!� the duo boasts. Also tapped for action is McGruff the Crime Dog, who plans to �Take a bite outta Uday and Qusay.� Rescue Rangers Chip and Dale also want a piece of the action, citing their skill at seeking out things as small as acorns, which may be useful in identifying Saddam�s body.
�With any luck,� said President Bush, �the truth will finally be revealed.� |
