He wanted me.  I could tell.  A man, particularly a security officer, has a nose for these things.  How did I feel about it?  Until a few days ago, I hadn’t been sure.  I’d liked the man.  I suppose he was my best friend on board Enterprise.  Actually, my best friend anywhere!  Certainly, he drove me mad, pulling me into situations (against my better judgment) with his happy-go-lucky demeanor.  The disaster twins, we’d been nicknamed.  And we both ended up in sickbay far more often than would be considered reasonable.  And we both ended up in situations like the one a few days ago…

“Trip, I need to speak to you.”  I wandered into engineering, which was strangely quiet.  I almost cringed at the way my shoes made loud clomping noises.  I was sure they could be heard all the way up to the bridge.

“Yes, Malcolm, what can I do for ya?”  he answered.  He was busy looking at something on his console, and I was hesitant about disturbing him.  I don’t really know why I’d come down here, either.  It was only about rerouting some power to the armoury, and I could have sent one of my crewmen down.  I shook my head, and started telling him of my plan.

Suddenly the ship shuddered violently, and we were thrown together, before being flung onto the floor.  He landed heavily on top of me, grabbing hold of my shoulders.  Somehow, it felt…strange, but…right.  Stunned, I struggled to move out of the way, pushed him off me, and stood up.  The feelings I had were unusual, and I had the vague sensation of disappointment, somehow.  God knows why.

“Bridge to Tucker.”  I felt relieved as the comm. cut into the silence.  Trip stood up and answered it.

“Tucker here…what’s happening up there, Cap’n?  Did the earth move for you too?”  I glared at him, this really was too much.  Flippancy when the ship could be in danger.  I think he realized this, and his face fell.

“Commander, I need you and Lieutenant Reed on the bridge as soon as possible.  Oh, and yes, in point of fact, the Enterprise did move for me too!”

Oh God, now the captain was at it--making jokes.  He was probably grinning like Trip was.  I couldn’t stand it; I gave him my fiercest stare.  I’m not sure if he saw it or not, he was too busy walking out of the doors.

Ahh Trip…he was so outgoing, so friendly, so uncomplicated.  He was the ship’s golden boy, everyone loved him, and those who didn’t, soon found themselves warming to him.   Those sparkling blue eyes, the silky golden hair and that honey warm accent were enough to start him his own fan club.  I don’t think he realized just how potent his looks were.  I considered myself fortunate to have a close--well, close for me--friendship with him. 

And then there was his long-time friendship with Captain Archer.  Before this mission began, a lot of people thought that Trip had slept his way to the top.  They soon changed their minds about that!  He is a top class engineer, the very best in Starfleet.  They are close friends, will no doubt always be friends, but there is now the chasm that comes from being captain and commander.  Maybe that’s why I’m now Trip’s best friend?  Possibly, I don’t know.

Sometimes, Captain Archer’s command style flummoxes me.  He can be way too laid back, too casual, too friendly.  Especially when it comes to the security on this ship.  He is all too ready to welcome visitors with open arms, whilst I am all for giving them the short, sharp shrift, and not letting them on board Enterprise.  It's not myself that I worry about, that he puts my life in danger.  After all, the few friends I’ve made on this ship have bigger and better friendships to fry.  I can't say that any of them would miss me for long, should I die, with the possible exception of Trip.  But I do care about them, and I would give my life in an instant to save the ship and to save them.  No question about it. 

I’d followed Trip up to the bridge deep in thought, so it came as a bit of a shock to walk out of the turbo lift to find no senior staff members around.  Not one person, no Captain Archer, no T’Pol, no Hoshi, no Travis. 

Before we could try and find out why, there was a flash of light and an unknown man appeared.  I surreptitiously made my way to my tactical station, where I keep a phase pistol. Just for emergencies, you understand?

“Well hello there, Commander Tucker, Lieutenant Reed.”  The stranger called.  He then had the audacity to sit in the captain’s chair. 

“Who are you and what have you done with the bridge staff?”  I heard Trip ask.  I’d reached the station, and was slowly trying to free the pistol, although for some reason, I didn’t believe we were in any actual danger – an extremely strange feeling for me.

“Don’t think I should tell you!”  He continued, grinning a very unconvincing smile at us.  “You may call me Q, and don’t worry about your friends, they are safe.  So, to get straight to the point, are you two lovers yet?”

Oh. My. God.  Lovers?  I was completely and utterly shocked at this statement.  Wondering what Trip’s thoughts were, I turned towards him.  He didn’t look particularly shocked, but I detected a trace of…sadness?  In his eyes, as he glanced at me.

“No, no, he is just a colleague…a…a friend.” 

“Yes, Commander Tucker is my superior officer.”  Luckily, I was well known for being able to keep my face blank, and it came in useful now.  Oh shit, I never said anything about us being friends…I’d just said the first thing that came to mind.  I would have to explain to Trip later and hope he didn’t notice.

In love huh?  Was I in love with Trip?  I stood there, focusing on my feelings, not sure what I was feeling.  As I said, I liked him, but…was it love?  I tried to think.  Think about all the times we worked together.  On the bridge, Trip almost always stood hovering over my shoulder.  If I was in the armoury, he’d be there.  If he wasn’t in the armoury, I was in engineering…hovering near him.  We took shore leave together.  We also spent most of our free time together.

With a blinding flash of clarity, I realized that we’d been getting closer and closer.  Was this what this stranger…Q, I think he said his name was…was trying to make us comprehend? 

I felt as if I had been whisked away somewhere, as if I hadn’t been here on the bridge.   I felt bewildered, dazed almost, as I came back to full awareness.  Trip was looking at Q with an annoyed expression.

“Well?  I haven’t much time, you know.  What are you going to do about your feelings towards each other?”  Q stood, tapping his foot. 

I managed to speak before Trip did, hoping to calm the situation.  I didn’t want to reveal any of my very recent thoughts, so I said the only words I could in this situation. 

“What feelings?  There are no so-called feelings between us.  We are colleagues, that’s all.”  I folded my arms, taking refuge in the security of my habitual defensive manner.

“What about you, Commander?  Are you going to deny you are in love with him?”  Q hitched a thumb in my direction, as I carefully watched Trip, wondering what he was going to say, my heart in my mouth.  Funny, he didn’t look my way once.

“In love?  With Malc…er, Lieutenant Reed?  No, I’m not.”

Q obviously didn’t believe Trip, because he frowned at him.  Unfortunately, he turned his attention towards me again.

I daren’t look at Trip.  I was too afraid of what I might see there; too afraid of letting go of the emotions I had only just managed to understand myself.  I shook my head.

“No.”

Q was muttering on about how he wished he’d not bothered to try and help those who didn’t want to be helped, and that humans were the most infuriatingly annoying species he’d ever come across.  Just as suddenly as he’d arrived, he departed. 

I saw Trip look across at me.  I couldn’t help it, I must admit to feeling confused and mystified.  Deciding to try out the waters, I spoke to my friend.

“He thinks we’re lovers.”  I deliberately kept my face straight.

“Yes.”  Hmm, he wasn’t very forthcoming.  I tried again.

“But we aren’t.”

“No.”  Well, it was like getting blood out of a stone.

I was about to continue when the turbo-lift doors opened

and the captain stepped onto the bridge, followed by the rest of the command staff. 

"What in hell's going on?" the captain asked.  "One minute I'm in my chair, waiting for you two to arrive, the next I'm in the turbo-lift with T'Pol and the others."

I heard Trip start to explain what had happened, and I took the opportunity to compose myself.  I needed to leave the area, needed some downtime, just to think.  As soon as I could trust myself to speak without betraying my confused emotions, I approached Captain Archer.

"Enterprise is secure, Captain.  If I may, sir, I need to check the armoury?"  Barely waiting for the captain's nod of approval, I headed for the lift.  I didn't, couldn't, look at Trip, frightened of what I might see in his eyes, and of what he might see in mine.

That was then, this is now, and I’m still in hiding.  Whenever I see Trip approach, I make some excuse about some urgent matter that needs attending to.  This must be the longest we have spent apart on the ship.  But I can’t keep running…we have to talk.  I need to know how he feels…I need to tell him how I feel.  Can our friendship survive this?  I have no idea.  But I can’t keep running.

Bloody Q, bloody Trip, bloody Enterprise…bloody hell!!!!!

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