And how did I know? Well, that's a long story. It had started several days back.

"Trip, I need to speak to you." The voice of the armoury officer, Malcolm Reed, rang out clearly across engineering.

"Yes, Malcolm, what can I do for ya?" I answered, without taking my eyes off the console in front of me. I heard him stalk across the room until he was standing at the side of me. His dinky size tens didn't help. No, I guess you could say Mr. Reed was never gonna be a delicate little flower. Mind you, I wasn't exactly light on my feet either.

Anyway, back to the story. He'd just asked me about rerouting some power to the armoury, when the ship shuddered violently, throwing me against him, and both of us went flying to the floor.

A few seconds went by, and we were still lying together, me on top of him, my arms holding his shoulders, when he suddenly moved, twisting underneath me, struggling to get free. As he stood, an unexpected loneliness ran through my body, one I was at a loss to understand.

"Bridge to Tucker." The comm. cut into my thoughts, and I followed Malcolm, standing up and reaching for the button.

"Tucker here.what's happening up there, Cap'n? Did the earth move for you too?" Malcolm glared at me and I realized that my flippancy in this situation could be a bad thing.

"Commander, I need you and Lieutenant Reed on the bridge as soon as possible. Oh, and yes, in point of fact, the Enterprise did move for me too!"

I gave Malcolm a wry grin, whilst moving towards the doors. Unfortunately, Malcolm was still glaring. Although he was slight of build and height, he was still known to all the crew as the most dangerous man on the ship. I didn't intend to find out why, so I turned my back on him and walked out of engineering towards the turbo lift. I knew he was following me.I could still feel him glowering!

Ahh Malcolm.he could be soooo reserved, yet so passionate about things he believed in--the security on the ship, the relationships between superior officer and subordinate, the relaxed attitude of the most superior officer, the captain.

When you've known the captain for as long as I have, you realize that Jon is a man of the highest integrity. He is a man who would never let his crew down, but who instills loyalty, commitment and devotion in his subordinates. He's a man who can make mistakes, admit them, learn from them, and then move on.

I just wish Malcolm would realize this. Although I know about his background--his father--his life--and I know for a fact that Malcolm would give up his own life for his captain, for his crewmates--I just wish he would understand that he has friends, has people who care about him--people who do more than care about him. But he doesn't. And that's the sad part.

Anyway, we'd made our way to the bridge.and found it empty. Not one member of the senior staff was present. No captain, no Hoshi, no Travis, and no T'Pol.

I turned towards a console, and attempted to find out where they had all disappeared. Before I could press a button, there was a flash of light and an unknown man appeared on the bridge. He was tall, dark and I guess you could call him handsome. He was no Malcolm Reed, but.

"Well, hello there, Commander Tucker, Lieutenant Reed." the stranger called, as he sat down in the captain's chair. I cast a quick glance towards Malcolm, and was unsurprised to see him narrow his eyes and start to sidle over to tactical, where I knew he kept a phase pistol in case of emergencies. I'd always thought this was just Malcolm's paranoia working overtime, but now I wasn't sure.

"Who are you and what have you done to the bridge staff?" I asked, trying to keep the attention off Malcolm.

"Don't think I should tell you!" He sounded petulant, but this was swiftly followed by an unconvincing smile. "You may call me Q, and don't worry about your friends, they are quite safe. So, to get straight to the point, are you two lovers yet?"

Under other circumstances, the questioning look on his face would have been rather comical, as it was, it just added to the feeling of unreality.

Once again, I glanced across to where Malcolm stood. He looked enormously shocked as he turned towards me. My heart sank, inexplicably, and I heard myself reply, "No, no, he is just a colleague.a" I hesitated a little "a.friend."

"Yes, Commander Tucker is my superior officer." Malcolm could have been the original poker player; his face registered no emotions, nothing. He never even said anything about us being friends. To be honest, I was completely devastated.

If I hadn't been so devastated, I would have been aware of the stranger approaching me, but emotionally, I was otherwise engaged, inwardly crying. Prompted by the stranger's words, I had suddenly realized that Malcolm, the lieutenant, that man I thought of as a friend, was the one person with whom I felt truly alive.

It came upon me so quickly that I had not understood it before. But I couldn't hide it now.I was in love with him, but I knew by his reaction he didn't feel the same way. And now the stranger was in front of me; how he'd gotten there, I had no idea. I'd been too wrapped up in my thoughts.

"So, Trip.you love Malcolm, do you not?" Jumping, I quickly glanced over at Malcolm. He was stationary. Very stationary! In fact, he'd been frozen in time whilst Q spoke to me.

"L.l.l.l.love?" I stuttered. Just great, I thought - how to make friends and influence people.

I could tell Q was exasperated by the huge sigh he gave. "Yes, LOVE! Ell, Ooh, Vee, Eee. You" he said, pointing towards my good self "love him", pointing at the frozen Malcolm. "You can deny it, but that wouldn't be honest, would it?"

I was frustrated and ready to explode, but before I could say anything, I saw Malcolm stir. He had a dazed, bewildered expression on his face, which I found unexpectedly endearing, but my heart fell as he turned towards me, his all too familiar mask of polite indifference securely in place. For a moment, I thought he was going to say something, then Q interrupted.

"Well? I haven't much time, you know. What are you going to do about your feelings towards each other?"

Malcolm finally spoke. "What feelings? There are no so-called feelings between us. We are colleagues, that's all." He folded his arms in an unmistakeably defensive way.

Q snorted. "What about you, Commander? Are you going to deny you are in love with him?" He pushed a thumb in Malcolm's direction.

I could feel Malcolm's intense gaze upon me, I made sure I didn't look over towards him because if I had, I was sure my emotions would give me away. Luckily, though, my voice stayed steady and true.

"In love? With Malc.er, Lieutenant Reed? No, I'm not." I hastily crossed my fingers behind my back, and hoped that Q would believe me. By the way he scowled at me it was obvious he didn't.

"And how about the eminently dutiful Lieutenant Reed?" He turned his, to be honest, rather fed up gaze on a frowning Malcolm. "How about it, Lieutenant? Are you going to admit you're in love with Commander Tucker?"

I held my breath. Without looking at me, Malcolm carefully and deliberately shook his head. "No." I had never believed in hearts being broken until this very moment. I felt the cracking as mine shattered into a million pieces. I felt it would never recover.

I barely heard Q as he muttered something about why had he bothered to try and help those who don't want to be helped, and that humans were the most infuriatingly annoying species he'd ever come across. It took me a few more moments before I realized that Malcolm and I were now alone on the bridge.

I raised my eyes towards the lieutenant. He was standing there with the most confused and mystified expression I'd ever had the pleasure of seeing on his face. It would have amused me any other time, but I came to the conclusion that Malcolm, Lieutenant Reed, the armoury officer, protector of Enterprise and her crew, wasn't at all impressed with Q's assessment of us both.

"He thinks we're lovers." Malcolm looked at me, his face betraying none of his thoughts, except I thought that maybe I saw disgust deep in those blue-grey eyes of his.

"Yes." I replied, well, it was the only thing I could say.

"But we aren't."

"No." I rubbed my hands across my face.

"No." he echoed, softly.

He sounded kinda puzzled, but before I could think of anything to say, the door to the turbo-lift swooshed open, making me jump. Malcolm, being Malcolm just calmly turned around.

"What in hell's going on?" The Captain demanded, as he led the rest of the command staff onto the bridge. "One minute I'm in my chair, waiting for you two to arrive, the next I'm in the turbo-lift with T'Pol and the others."

"We had a visitor." I continue trying to explain to the cap'n something I don't really understand myself while, out of the corner of my eye, I'm watching Malcolm as he collects himself together, battening down his hatches, so he could present his usual self-contained, professional face to the world.

"Enterprise is secure, Captain," our tactical officer reports. "If I may, sir, I need to check the armoury?"

The captain nods his approval, but Malcolm was leaving anyway, without so much as a look in my direction.

"Trip? Archer to Trip, come in Trip?"

I started; I'd been miles away, lost in thought. Might have gotten away with it too, had I not been stood in the middle of the bridge. Unfortunately, as I heard the hastily covered up snickers, I felt myself colour up.

"Uh, sorry cap'n. Was miles away there.um, can I be excused?" I had almost made it to the lift doors, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was, it couldn't be anyone else, and yet, damn, but I didn't want to talk about this. I'd explained what had happened-that Mal and I had arrived on the bridge to find some alien who had.talked to us. Even to me, that sounded weak, but what else could I say? That I'd realized that I love Mal-and that he didn't love me? Hardly. The cap'n was a friend, a good one, but I didn't want to talk about this. Not yet, maybe not anytime. Because if I talked about it, it would be real. I heaved a sigh, before turning to look into Jonathan Archer's amused face. As he took in my expression, his laughter faded.

"Trip? No, I won't excuse you. My ready room, please?" He walked off, leaving me no choice but to follow him.

As the door shut, the captain turned and looked at me, with those intense green eyes.

"What's wrong, Trip?" I heard the compassion, the concern in his voice.

"Nothing, cap'n. Why?" I felt such a heel as I saw the hurt cross his face, but I could scarcely deal with my devastated emotions myself, I sure as hell wasn't prepared to discuss them with a sympathetic audience. In spite of my resolution, I felt my eyes filling up and then the captain was holding me in an awkward embrace as I sobbed on his shoulder. Jon held me close, one hand rubbing my back like he was burping a baby, and eventually I managed to get myself back under control.

Sniffling, I pulled back and dried my face. I accepted the tissue from the captain and blew my nose. Moving away, I pulled out a chair and sat down, watching as Jon did the same, sitting at the side of me.

"Stupid, huh?" I managed a slight grin.

"Not stupid, Trip. But I would like to know what caused this." The captain was obviously concerned. Well who wouldn't be? I was the chief engineer, on Starfleet's first ever warp five ship, and here I was, crying all over my captain.

"Are we talking as Captain and Commander now? Or are we Jon and Trip?" I had to ask the question.

"Trip, you know whatever you say in here is confidential anyway. But, if it helps you feel better, then Jon and Trip." He smiled at me, encouraging me to continue.

I took a deep breath, then told him the full, sorry story. When I'd finished, I expected Jon to look astounded, but the surprised look was all mine.

"Jon? You look like. you were expecting this. But you are the only person I've told. But how? I've only just realized it myself."

Amazingly, Jon laughed. "How long have I known you, Trip? I can always tell when you're in love, even when you don't know it yourself! Admittedly," he looked sheepish at this point, "I didn't know just who you were fixated on."

I couldn't help it; I gawped at him, my jaw dropping. He'd.he'd known all along? Shit, I'd thought I was fairly good at hiding my emotions, and I told him so.

The gales of laughter coming from Jon could probably be heard all over the ship. I frowned, irritated.

"You couldn't hide your emotions if your life depended on it, Trip!" He was still laughing, and I was about ready to throttle him, captain or no captain, when a chuckle escaped me and thankfully our friendship remained intact.

"What happens now, Jon? Malcolm was decidedly disgusted at the thought of us being together." I stopped abruptly, unsure of how Jon would take it.

"Are you completely sure Malcolm has no interest in you?" Jon raised his eyebrows, smiling a little.

Hadn't he heard my little tale of woe? He'd obviously not been listening. I could feel frustration inside me, and I made a move towards the door, hiding my disappointment at him.

"Sit down, Trip."

"Why? So you can mock me again? So you pretend to listen to me, when in fact you aren't? Once again, for your benefit," I spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child, "Malcolm.Doesn't.Love. Me. Got that?"

"Yes, Trip, I got that the first time around. But I only asked if you were sure he wasn't interested. I mean, you two guys spend more time together than any other couple on the ship. You take shore leave together, you argue together, you hover around him when on the bridge, he does it to you in engineering. I must admit, until just now I hadn't thought about it before, but you two remind me of something."

I was curious now. "What?"

Grinning evilly, Jon continued. "You remind me of an old married couple!"

"An old married." I was about to protest, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided he might be right. I started to smile at the thought, and knew there was something I had to do.

"Permission to leave, Jon?"

"Granted.and.good luck."

I left, feeling much happier than I had earlier.

Trouble was, it was like trying to find the scarlet pimpernel, trying to find Mr. Reed. When I actually managed to get him in view, he'd swiftly depart, finding some urgent matter that really, really needed his attention.

I had engineering to run, too, not to mention catching up on my reports, so here I am, several days later and still no nearer to sorting things out with Malcolm.

The happiness I felt on leaving the captain's ready room has dissipated, leaving me scared, downhearted, and still horny. Can I still talk to him? Will he listen? Will I ever get the chance to find out?

Bloody Q, bloody Malcolm, bloody Enterprise, bloody hell!!!!!

TBC.

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