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XXVII. Pickup Outline PREVIEW Note: “Describe” implies describing with all the hypnotic tools and language patterns you’ve learned so far.1. Ignition: Focus a. Mirror her b. Make attention-getting introductory comment 2. First Gear: Comfort a. Describe experience of comfort b. Ask about her experience of comfort c. Repeat a. and b., until she’s thoroughly comfortable 3. Second Gear: Excitement a. Describe experience of excitement -cascade descriptions into states of increasing intensity and emotional intimacy b. Ask about her experience of excitement c. Repeat a. and b., until she’s thoroughly excited 4. Third Gear: Sexuality a. Use sexual metaphors, sexual stories, quoted sexual propositions, sexual jokes. 5. Fourth Gear: Physical Contact a. Get her someplace private. b. Use physical demonstrations and physical metaphors as a pretext for physical contact. -nonverbally transition into sexual activity c. Use Verbal Pacing, Hypnotic Tempo to build impact for direct sexual proposition
1 Ignition: Focus A) If your target is relatively stationary, mirror one of her bodily rhythms or posture. Sit the way she’s sitting, or breathe at the same pace she’s breathing. You can watch the rise and fall of her shoulder to follow her respiration. B) If she’s moving, mirror her movement rhythm. Let your arms and legs move at the same pace her arms and legs do. If the two of you are headed in opposite directions, and you have no time to pace, stop her with a comment. C)Introductory Comment a Compliment her (“You look absolutely stunning!”); or b Remark on some unusual or outstanding trait (“You’ve crafted a gorgeous look—your boots in particular are marvelous.”); A certain degree of asexuality can be useful here, as though you’re not hitting on her, but are simply making an approving evaluation, one tasteful person to another. Think jaded Talent Scout or detached gay designer. The point of the introductory comment is just to get her to stop moving and focus on you. Advanced approaches include showing some originality or creativity in your comments. For example, you might want to exaggerate the effects of the outstanding trait: “Your boots are so shiny that pilots landing aircraft will be beckoned near, from all directions. There will be crashes. There will be disasters. On the other hand, some people will get home early, and the glimmering curves of your boots will guide them safely home through the darkness.” Smile and gesture elaborately—be campy and playful; this will indicate that you know you are saying weird things, and therefore are stimulating and provocative and funny (as opposed to not knowing you are saying weird things, in which case she will likely think you’re scary as hell). 1. First Gear: Comfort Make sure you start mirroring her. Then reinforce the sense of comfort mirroring creates by describing states of comfort, safety, and rapport. A good way to introduce these descriptions of states is by using a story, or talking about a third-party, e.g., “Your eyes look like my friend Judy’s. Actually, I was on the phone with her the other day, and she started telling me about this intense experience she had in the park one day. She was just lying in the sun, reading, and this guy came up. Judy said something about this guy just made her feel really comfortable—like there was this immediate electricity back and forth between them, this feeling of total connection. She said it was like blah blah blah…” “My friend Sasha talks a lot about connection. You know? She says, it’s odd—there are some people you meet {POINT AWAY FROM YOURSELF}, and you know, they’re very nice and polite, but you never really feel any deep rapport or connection with them {POINT AWAY}. You know, you don’t have a sudden sense of curiosity about them. You aren’t pulled toward them. On the other hand, there are some people {POINT TO SELF} with whom you do feel a sudden curiosity, a sudden connection, a sudden rapport. It’s like, you want to know this person. {PTS} This person seems interesting. {PTS} It’s almost as if it feels like things in your life have conspired to introduce you to this person {PTS}—as if you and this person {PTS} were meant to meet. And you start to feel as if this just might be so important that it begins to feel as if you can take all the time you need, right now, just to get to know this person {PTS}. Other stuff seems trivial and small in comparison. You have this sense of perfect safety, combined with a little tingle of excitement, and you just want to open up and absorb this experience…it’s like, by letting yourself enjoy this moment, you are giving yourself a little gift. Isn’t this a great feeling, when you can now feel this is what’s happening?” “What’s great is when you have that sudden, profound sense of connection, that feeling that you’re sharing meaningful communication. It’s almost like you and this special person {PTS} are inside a great glass globe, and everything else is on the outside and far far away— everything that tries to interfere just goes tink tink tink on the surface and then you forget about it—and here, inside this globe, with this increasingly fascinating, special person {PTS}, it’s as if you have infinite time and infinite space. It’s almost as if the two of you are taking the first steps to building a world together. Doesn’t this feel really good…when…this is now what’s happening…With me…this is the way I feel about it.” There are two basic approaches to stimulating her emotions. It is usually best to combine them, going back and forth from one to the other. a Describe an experience (and thereby stimulate her imagination and emotions) b Ask a question about her values (and thereby learn about her sense of self, how she processes experience, and how best to stimulate her emotions) Let’s say you choose to ask her a question about her values, e.g., “If you could absolutely anywhere right now, doing absolutely anything, where would you be ? What would you be doing?” When she gives you an answer—for example, lying on a beach, or sitting in a Parisian café—you can then cycle through these two choices again, by asking something like, “What would you love most about lying on the beach? Would it give you a sense of serenity? Of freedom? Of adventure? Of raw physical pleasure?” In any event, these sorts of questions allow you to discover her values; once you know them, you can tailor your descriptions to what she likes, thereby producing a much more powerful physical and emotional and erotic response. Note that you can prod the imagination while asking the sort of question presented above by slipping in examples, thus: “…What would you be doing? You know, climbing a mountain, lying on the beach, sculpting, dancing, painting? What would make you feel incredibly good?” As an alternative to asking her about her values, you can launch into a description of an experience. This has the advantage of immediately stimulating her imagination. Also, some women aren’t immediately comfortable answering questions about themselves, and this approach allows you to shovel good feelings inside them without them having to let down their guard. After all, you’re telling them things—they’re not revealing themselves. So, to take the descriptive approach, first make an Introductory Comment, then say something like, “Your hair reminds me a lot of my friend Scheherezade. The other day, we were talking, and she told me about this intense experience she had in the Museum of Modern Art. This guy came up to her and said…” Or you can say something like, “You look like you should be in some vast, dark, brooding, Gothic castle, with torches throwing shadows on the walls, a gossamer dress trailing from your shoulders, feeling a tremendous sense of expectancy, as though you feel it’s time for something special to happen…” Or, “You look as if you should be striding down the runway, light bulbs flashing all about you, as you stare off into infinity, just feeling everyone’s curiosity radiate through you…” Or, “You look as though you’re emanating pure energy! Your eyes just look so bright and alive!”Again, it helps to pick out some distinctive trait, and then exaggerate it enough that your imagination can make some word-pictures out of it. Don’t worry about talking too much. Once you start a monologue, she’ll just classify you as a guy who talks a lot, and become comfortable with it. Since you’ll be saying things specifically designed to stimulate and arouse her, she’ll like your blabbering more and more. At any point, you can switch from eliciting values to describing experiences, and in fact, it’s good to switch back and forth. Learning her values will enable you to tailor your descriptions for greater effect, and you can use descriptions to amplify the emotions she associates with a value. Let’s say she loves the feeling of serenity that comes from lying on the beach, You can say, “Yeah, it’s great when you feel a sense of serenity…like this…now…with me…I sometimes feel serenity is like this great internal stillness…I just stop talking, stop thinking…and then, you know, the things you’re now seeing…and hearing…just make you focus completely…and you find yourself growing completely comfortable with this…as if you’re meant to experience this…and you feel more and more connected, on deeper and deeper levels, to everything you’re now seeing and hearing…with me...it’s like this…and you sense all this penetrating into your heart and soul…so it really comes inside you…all the way…and you know this is going to go deeper and deeper…you know, when you… feel this…now…with me…with this feeling, you just feel this even more powerfully…the things you’re seeing and hearing, the things in front of you…just fill your mind and your soul completely…and you become aware of a space inside you…waiting for this…meant for this…and what you are now seeing and hearing automatically, easily, naturally, irresistibly, slides into that special space inside you…and as you sense it, you know you’re meant to have this inside you…it’s destiny…and because you are aware of this…in this moment…with me…with me, now…to me, that’s how you know this experience…this sense of being totally filled…deeply penetrated..emotionally…fulfilled…with me…this is how you know this is right for who you are now…And you know, this is what you are meant to feel and hold in your life, in your heart, in your mind, and in every nerve and muscle and fold of your body. Serenity is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?” In most cases, you should concentrate on inducing states of comfort and connection first. Once you’ve induced a state of comfort and connection—once it looks like she’s really mellow and she’s enjoying listening to you, move on to deeper emotions and more sensual experiences. 2. Second Gear: Excitement Once you’ve started things rolling with descriptions, questions or both, you’ll probably want to amplify her responses. There are a number of ways you can do this. a Tell stories about other people’s exciting, transcendental, or sensual experiences. “Your hair reminds me of Joanie, a friend of mine who rowed crew in college. You know what she loved about crew? She loved how good it felt when she rowed. She said it was like a feeling of hot red warmth going deeper and deeper through every part of her…” “It’s funny how different people have such different vibes. Your vibes remind me of Katya’s—she’s a friend of mine who…” People almost invariably go into trance when they are told stories, and are in any event expected to listen politely, so stories are good both for making people shut up and listen and for an excuse to deliver highly charged descriptions which people will listen to comfortably. It’s best to get in the habit of telling story after story after story, with as many emotional and sensual descriptions as possible shoehorned into a story framework. When something is presented as a story, it tends to be swallowed without analysis—a story is a kind of freebie, so put it to your advantage. Get her subconscious firmly on the emotional track you want, by telling lots of stories which feature the emotions you want her to feel. b Elicit specific sensory descriptions of her internal experience— her internal metaphors for her emotional states. “Oh, yes, serenity is wonderful. When you feel a tremendous, deep sense of serenity, where does it begin inside you? Your head? Your heart? Your belly?…Oh, your belly. Is that a warm feeling or a cool feeling?…Oh, a cool feeling. If this feeling were a color, what color would it be? Oh, blue…nice. What would it be like, to feel a cool, blue sense of pure serenity begin in your belly, and then deepen and deepen and deepen, expand and expand and expand, so it touches the places inside you this sense of serenity has never yet touched so completely, and you feel wonderful sensations you’ve never felt before? What does this feeling of serenity lead to, that’s even better?” Once she gives you a description of her perceptions, exaggerate the sensory qualities of the description. Why? These internal metaphors typically have a direction—they will fall along a spectrum, such that if she imagines a pleasant experience as being especially bright, if you tell her to make the image brighter, it will become more pleasurable. The rule of thumb is this: whatever makes the perception more perceptible (larger,louder, harder) will intensify the emotion that the perception helps represent. This is the NLP concept of submodalities. So tell her to make her mental picture of a pleasurable experience bigger and brighter and closer, to make those pleasing internal sounds and voices louder or more resonant or more melodic, to make the feelings in her chest or belly or feet warmer or more solid. (The speed and power of this approach tends to seem magical, and can quickly establish the idea that you have Mystical Power and Wisdom)c Emotional cascading. “Oh, yes, serenity is wonderful. What’s great is when you feel such a profound… sense… of serenity… that you become aware… of the parts of yourself… that have been lost to habit. And when, because of your serenity…you’ve now reached this awareness… you suddenly enjoy the realization… that you’re now open… to wonderful new experiences. And in now… fully… recognizing that you’re now… in the right place…emotionally… now… here…for a wonderful new experience…here…deep inside… you open…like a flower… to this passionate… moment of realization… inside you… and really feel…deep inside you…and really know… deep inside you… that spreading yourself… wide… emotionally, and taking this …intense… new experience…inside…who you… truly… are… inside your depths… right now… is exactly… the thing you need to feel deep inside you…to feel and know…that opening… to this experience now… moves you…deeper…inside your core…and further on your path. And when… you now hear this special voice…inside you…tearing off the masks, the costumes…the unnecessary things…and telling you… ‘Yes, you do feel this way now, and this is right for you… now’… then you… just have this… tremendous feeling inside you…this sense that you are destined to open yourself to this experience, and you know you’re going to look back on this, months from now, and smile.” d Proofs by Enjoyable Analogy. “Oh, yes, serenity is wonderful…now…with me…it’s like, when you feel real serenity, it’s like you’re walking through the forest, and everything you see and hear just becomes more and more beautiful, because you’re open to it, and this feeling of openness is like suddenly realizing there has been a cage around your heart, and this cage suddenly spreads wide open, and you’re now filled with this feeling of longing for what you know you are meant to have…” 3. Third Gear: Sexuality Now that you’ve built rapport by mirroring her, thoroughly induced states of comfort and connection by talking about what these states feel like (preferably by talking about other peoples’ experiences), and begun to ramp her feelings up by using her own values and submodalities, you can begin to intensify the erotic component. a Erotic metaphors. These are descriptions of emotional or physical states which each have at least one quality of a sexual act—that is, they involve penetrating, sucking, spreading open, entering, coming inside, thrusting, warming and moistening, orgasmically exploding, or rhythmically moving, etc. “When you feel this state of serenity really powerfully, it can almost be like you have pure bliss right in front of you, pure ambrosia, distilled to a nectar in a glass, and as you look at it, knowing you’re going to drink it down, you already start to feel even more excited and even more in touch with the most glorious parts of yourself, because you know… sucking… this sweet… sticky… ambrosia… of pure joy… is exactly what you need.” “When you feel this kind of connection with someone, it’s as if you feel all that’s beautiful within this person’s essence shoot forth and penetrate all the way into the deepest depths of your soul--deeper and deeper, until you almost lose consciousness of everything but how deeply this feeling is filling you.” “It’s as if every part of you is warming and melting, like the wax of a candle, and with every moment, you feel your old self melt more and more, as you become more and more ready to receive this new experience, and take what it has to give you all the way inside, into an opening within a part of you no-one else has ever truly explored in the way that you know you’re meant to feel begin happening now, the way that is now going to change everything and allow your heart to spread wide open and feel the kind of love and connection you want to penetrate all the way inside you, into your very core. ” b Quoted Sexual Propositions. These are explicit, or nearly explicit, sexual suggestions attributed to other people—characters in a story, perhaps. “And when you feel that you can have and taste this ambrosia, as if it’s in a glass in front of you, the experience can be so powerful and undeniable and irresistible that the glass seems to have a straw in it, just waiting for you, meant for you to take inside you, and the straw itself says, ‘This is what you want. This experience we’re going to have is why I’m here and why you’re here, so just take me in your mouth and suck me right now.’” “…So, in the middle of the party, this guy tells my friend Kathryn, ‘You are ready to be possessed by me.Your fears have been fighting this, but your body has accepted what is now going to happen. Your emotions have accepted what is going to happen. We are now going to go to my car, where I will remove your clothes, I will possess you, and because you are silent right now, you have already surrendered and you know you will love it when you feel me inside you.’” c Sexual Stories. Tell her lots and lots of stories about falling in love, about having wild passionate flings with mysterious strangers, and so forth. The more sexual stories you tell, the better. Remember, stories, like quotes, induce strong states while deflecting responsibility for inducing or feeling those states. d Sexual Jokes. Sex jokes have the titillating power of sexual stories, and the additional benefit of humor, which breaks down existing beliefs and attitudes. When you get her to laugh, you are demonstrating in an undeniable way that you can make her feel something powerful, and you are also moving her into a state where her habitual defenses fall away. 4. Fourth Gear: Contact It’s often a good idea to move her to someplace private, before taking the next steps. It is not, however, strictly necessary… a Localization of Emotion. One way to get physical is to ask where an emotion begins inside her, physically. “When you feel Emotion X, where does that feeling begin? Here?” {POINT TO YOUR HEAD} “Here?” {POINT TO YOUR HEART} “Here?” {POINT TO YOUR BELLY} For that matter, if she’s really, really worked up, you can point to your crotch, though you still may want to pass that off as a Silly Joke, saying something like, “Just kidding!” In any case, she’ll oftentimes touch herself where the feeling begins, or point there. If she just points to the place, or doesn’t even do that, she’s probably not ready for physical contact. On the other hand, when, in answer to your question, she touches a place on her body, the odds are good that she’s open to physical contact there. If, for example, she says, “My heart,” and puts her hand on her heart, then, after she moves her hand away, you can put your hand where her hand was, and ask, “Is this a warm or cool feeling?” She’ll likely totally disregard the fact that your hand is on her chest, or even her breast, and instead focus on answering the question, as well as focus on feeling the emotion you’re asking about even more powerfully. By the same token, if, when you ask where the feeling comes from, she rubs her entire chest, she’s probably open to having her whole chest rubbed—just don’t make a big deal out of it, and keep asking earnest questions and providing rich descriptions.b Physical Metaphor. You can make her emotions and internal experience an excuse for initiating physical contact. Tell her to form an image of herself feeling really good two feet in front of her, and then, once she forms the image clearly and experiences some of the feelings, pull her by the waist or shoulder into that spot two feet away. She’ll now probably find the pleasant feeling deepening, and you’ve broken the physical barrier. For that matter, you can use what Richard Bandler calls a sliding anchor, in order to intensify a good feeling she has. For example, you can tell her to remember a good feeling, then touch her arm. Tell her that as you slowly move your finger up her arm, that good feeling is going to keep multiplying in intensity, and with every stroke, the feeling is going to double in intensity. This way, you’ll be inducing very, very powerful feelings, and she’ll be getting increasingly comfortable with the fact that you are touching her. c Direct Sexual Proposition: When you really want to go all-out, use Verbal Matching—telling her things which her senses will verify, or which agree with what she believes or knows--to build rhetorical power and emotional impact (“We’ve just met…And I know nothing of the formative moments of your life…And I wasn’t there at the moment of your birth…And we’re in a café…And you have a boyfriend…And you have dreams you haven’t totally satisfied”) and then bluntly proposition her (“…So I have this strong, undeniable feeling…that we are destined to now share each other’s bodies…we are destined to make love…you are meant to feel me all the way inside you, now…as I am meant to feel your energies…as our energies, shared, double and multiply…because some things are just meant to be.”) Review 1. Ignition: Focus c. Mirror her d. Make attention-getting introductory comment 2. First Gear: Comfort d. Describe experience of comfort e. Ask about her experience of comfort f. Repeat, until she’s thoroughly comfortable 3. Second Gear: Excitement d. Describe experience of excitement -cascade descriptions into states of increasing intensity and emotional intimacy e. Ask about her experience of excitement f. Repeat, until she’s thoroughly excited 4. Third Gear: Sexuality b. Use erotic metaphors, sexual stories, quoted sexual propositions, sexual jokes. 5. Fourth Gear: Physical Contact d. Get her someplace private. e. Use physical demonstrations and physical metaphors as a pretext for physical contact. -nonverbally transition into sexual activity c. Use Verbal Pacing, Hypnotic Tempo to build impact for direct sexual proposition Note: “Describe” implies describing with all the hypnotic tools and language patterns you’ve so far.
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